Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:58
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
People who have eating disorders and disordered body image tend to recreate that in their own kids. People who have healthy body image and healthy life habits and don't see thin as good and fat as bad tend to be able to raise healthier kids. In homes where a parent is obsessed about their own weight and staying thin / fit and obsesses over what they eat and how their body looks - they aren't going to be able to talk to their kids in a healthy way about weight or healthy bodies.
Op it sounds like your wife is like that. Chances are she is already instilling negative ideas in your daughter by what she says about herself. Go and talk to your daughter's doctor about a plan. There may be resources for a dietician who can provide guidance.
Op it sounds like your wife is like that. Chances are she is already instilling negative ideas in your daughter by what she says about herself. Go and talk to your daughter's doctor about a plan. There may be resources for a dietician who can provide guidance.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:53
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:Aren’t fruits full of sugar?
Yes but unless the kid is also diabetic that doesn’t matter.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:51
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think the idea that so many people are saying to never say anything to her about her weight or her eating are in lala land. You really think she will be happy and healthy and have no body image or eating issues as an obese tween / teen? you rally think moist obese people are unaware they have a weight problem and just go through life on cloud 9 because no one ever commented on their weight or intake.
If your kids teeth were rotted black would you not say or do anything and just pretend you didn't notice because who cares about dental health as log as you don't say anything then she won't know she has bad teeth and will will be hunky dory?
It is just weight. It isn't a big deal unless you make it one by acting like talking about weight is some kind of horrific act. People who are horrified about talking about weight are the same people whose kids grow up with eating disorders and weight problems and poor body image.
MANY people who struggle with obesity and many people who struggle with eating disorders (WHICH CAN BE FATAL) had people talk to them about their weight, tell them they were fat, tell them they were getting "chunky" when they were at impressionable ages. It is like you are completely asleep about the psychological reasons for both overeating and malnutrition.
Not at all. I just don't agree. I have actually worked with people who are obese who wish desperately that someone had intervened when they were young and they have body issues and health issues and eating issues related to trauma and other things that have nothing to do with comments made. They actually knew they were fat. They aren't stupid and would have appreciated help in learning how to manage their weight. The idea that if Op and his wife just ignore the doc and never say anything her about her weight no matter how big she gets - then the daughter will grow up no issues is absurd.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:42
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:I think the idea that so many people are saying to never say anything to her about her weight or her eating are in lala land. You really think she will be happy and healthy and have no body image or eating issues as an obese tween / teen? you rally think moist obese people are unaware they have a weight problem and just go through life on cloud 9 because no one ever commented on their weight or intake.
If your kids teeth were rotted black would you not say or do anything and just pretend you didn't notice because who cares about dental health as log as you don't say anything then she won't know she has bad teeth and will will be hunky dory?
It is just weight. It isn't a big deal unless you make it one by acting like talking about weight is some kind of horrific act. People who are horrified about talking about weight are the same people whose kids grow up with eating disorders and weight problems and poor body image.
Helping kids get to a healthy weight by NOT reducing their food but by giving them more fruits and vegetables, and getting the minimum of active play time each day is the solution. You are actually wrong - the kids who were "talked to" about it are the kids who end up with EDs and self esteem problems.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:37
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:I think the idea that so many people are saying to never say anything to her about her weight or her eating are in lala land. You really think she will be happy and healthy and have no body image or eating issues as an obese tween / teen? you rally think moist obese people are unaware they have a weight problem and just go through life on cloud 9 because no one ever commented on their weight or intake.
If your kids teeth were rotted black would you not say or do anything and just pretend you didn't notice because who cares about dental health as log as you don't say anything then she won't know she has bad teeth and will will be hunky dory?
It is just weight. It isn't a big deal unless you make it one by acting like talking about weight is some kind of horrific act. People who are horrified about talking about weight are the same people whose kids grow up with eating disorders and weight problems and poor body image.
MANY people who struggle with obesity and many people who struggle with eating disorders (WHICH CAN BE FATAL) had people talk to them about their weight, tell them they were fat, tell them they were getting "chunky" when they were at impressionable ages. It is like you are completely asleep about the psychological reasons for both overeating and malnutrition.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:28
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
I think the idea that so many people are saying to never say anything to her about her weight or her eating are in lala land. You really think she will be happy and healthy and have no body image or eating issues as an obese tween / teen? you rally think moist obese people are unaware they have a weight problem and just go through life on cloud 9 because no one ever commented on their weight or intake.
If your kids teeth were rotted black would you not say or do anything and just pretend you didn't notice because who cares about dental health as log as you don't say anything then she won't know she has bad teeth and will will be hunky dory?
It is just weight. It isn't a big deal unless you make it one by acting like talking about weight is some kind of horrific act. People who are horrified about talking about weight are the same people whose kids grow up with eating disorders and weight problems and poor body image.
If your kids teeth were rotted black would you not say or do anything and just pretend you didn't notice because who cares about dental health as log as you don't say anything then she won't know she has bad teeth and will will be hunky dory?
It is just weight. It isn't a big deal unless you make it one by acting like talking about weight is some kind of horrific act. People who are horrified about talking about weight are the same people whose kids grow up with eating disorders and weight problems and poor body image.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:27
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Aren’t fruits full of sugar?
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:14
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:I read a post either on here or on another mom group where a mom had success with an overweight pre-pubescent child by 1, eating a fruit and a vegetable at every meal and with every snack, and 2, ensuring her child got 90 minutes of physical activity a day. Which I believe was 60 minutes at home and 30 at school on school days. Nothing crazy, but walks, kids yoga videos, riding bikes, etc. all count. You could try something gentle like that - do it as a family so she doesn’t feel singled out.
It was on dcurbanmom, I read it too. It ws 90 minutes of physical activity and 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, I think. The title of the thread was something like "i cured my dd of childhood obesity" or something similar. It was a great thread. Her dd was very overweight and the only evidenced based treatment according to her doctors, for kids, is increasing fruits and vegetables and 90 min of activities. They had to sign her dd up for two sports I think to get enough physical activity time in.
It was a great thread. OP, do NOT say anything to your dd. NOTHING. But as a family make sure that you guys are eating lots of fruits and vegetables and YOU go do physical activities with her. Either this is your priority or it isn't. Eating disorders are fatal. Kids DIE from them. You don't want this and saying something like this will screw her up. Keep your mouth shut.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 17:01
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
kids chunk up before the lean out
Anonymous
02/18/2020 16:55
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:OP here - thx for all replies lots to think about. tho a bit surprised many suggested me to make appt and take DD myself would that really be ok with DW I kinda doubt it.
We try to eat well and stay active but I think it’s really her diet like I said she likes to eat what/how much skinny big brother is eating and gets upset if she’s no getting the same things. Need to work on that front more.
I admit I was thinking to mention to her about her waist line coz I’ve read not to bring up her weight or how much she eats or on making healthy choices (good foods vs bad foods). I felt maybe shifting focus on her belly would be harmless. Yeah I’m clueless but DE is no help.
Work on fair is not equal. She needs limits on her portions.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 16:40
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
*DW
Anonymous
02/18/2020 16:39
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
OP here - thx for all replies lots to think about. tho a bit surprised many suggested me to make appt and take DD myself would that really be ok with DW I kinda doubt it.
We try to eat well and stay active but I think it’s really her diet like I said she likes to eat what/how much skinny big brother is eating and gets upset if she’s no getting the same things. Need to work on that front more.
I admit I was thinking to mention to her about her waist line coz I’ve read not to bring up her weight or how much she eats or on making healthy choices (good foods vs bad foods). I felt maybe shifting focus on her belly would be harmless. Yeah I’m clueless but DE is no help.
We try to eat well and stay active but I think it’s really her diet like I said she likes to eat what/how much skinny big brother is eating and gets upset if she’s no getting the same things. Need to work on that front more.
I admit I was thinking to mention to her about her waist line coz I’ve read not to bring up her weight or how much she eats or on making healthy choices (good foods vs bad foods). I felt maybe shifting focus on her belly would be harmless. Yeah I’m clueless but DE is no help.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 15:48
Subject: Re:3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:I assume this is a troll, but if not you should talk to her pediatrician.
This.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 15:47
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Different pp. No one said that, but kids can get messages they are "fat" or not optimal very easily. It's best to guard against that, even more so if this is just a passing phase of her body.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 15:46
Subject: 3rd Grade DD Has a Pot Belly
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you will give her a lifelong weight complex if you bring it up. Honestly how would you feel if she got an eating disorder?
If her pediatrician isn’t worried at her annual checkups you shouldn’t be worried either.
The pediatrician is worried op said .ridiculose to think saying something will cause issues. There already is an issue.
I would try and incorporate more exercise. Talk about portion control. If your still hungry after eating dinner get a second helping of fruit. Dont eat another steak and potatoes . 1/2 the plate should be fruit and veggies .
There is not an issue unless they make it one. She's 8 or 9 years old. As I stated upthread, they should take a good long look at what they are eating and doing as a family before they say a word to this child. The comments that people make about your body stick with you FOREVER.
There are a lot of things they can do before they get to the point of telling a 3rd grader her tummy is fat, some of which you included. Plate the food. Half of the plate fruits and veggies. Eat fewer carbs as a family. As the cook, I cook "just enough" for things I don't want anybody having seconds of. "There is no more steak" is a lot different than "your tummy is too fat for more steak"or "you don't need anymore steak". See how that works? There are some things my kids LOVE and always want seconds of that are not great for them. I don't cook those very often, so when I do, the seconds are fine (and we don't see that for dinner again for a month or three).
Where on this thread did anyone, including the child's parent, ever suggest telling the kid her tummy was fat? I don't think anyone said that. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Did you read the OP? The question was could the dad say something to the daughter to encourage her to lose her pot belly.