Anonymous
02/19/2020 09:51
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Don't assume that it will take time to conceive. That certainly wasn't the case for us. Our second baby, conceived shortly before I turned 36, was a surprise. A very happy surprise, but a surprise all the same (spur of the moment, throw caution to the wind....just this once, lol).
Anonymous
02/19/2020 09:41
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Anonymous wrote:To the posters telling OP to get pregnant right away, are you not aware of the risks in doing so? It’s common knowledge that you should give your body a year at least to heal from the first birth before getting pregnant again due to the risks of a second pregnancy so soon.
Research suggests that beginning a pregnancy within six months of a live birth is associated with an increased risk of:
Premature birth
The placenta partially or completely peeling away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery (placental abruption)
Low birth weight
Congenital disorders
Schizophrenia
Maternal anemia
In addition, recent research suggests that closely spaced pregnancies might be associated with an increased risk of autism in second-born children. The risk is highest for pregnancies spaced less than 12 months apart.
Closely spaced pregnancies might not give a mother enough time to recover from pregnancy before moving on to the next. For example, pregnancy and breast-feeding can deplete your stores of nutrients, particularly folate. If you become pregnant before replacing those stores, it could affect your health or your baby's health. Inflammation of the genital tract that develops during pregnancy and doesn't completely heal before the next pregnancy could also play a role.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072
But, that risk must be balanced against not having a child and of being even older when you do. So high risk OBs counsel AMA women that waiting is often a higher risk (of birth issues and of not getting pregnant at all) than not waiting.
The things you mention are a risk for everyone; they may or may not be a higher risk in closely spaced pregnancies, but similarly there are risks to being AMA and those risks increase the longer you wait, so your doctor will help you deicide which risks are greater and which way to go.
There is no such thing as a pregnancy without risk, so one is always balancing relative risks.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 09:41
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Anonymous wrote:If you were 35+ with your first child, when did you have a second child? What age gap worked for you? My husband and I have a 4-month-old. I’m 38 ( turning 39 in a couple of months) and he is 40. Our plan is to start trying for a second child when our first is a year old, but now I’m not sure if we should start trying sooner or wait longer. I know the ideal age gap is 3-4 years, but we can’t wait that long. I’m starting to worry that having a child 2 and under with a newborn will be very tough. I have a friend with a newborn and a 20 month old, and she said it’s very hard. What age do you think is he best time to start trying?
I was days shy of my 35th birthday with my first. Started trying for no. 2 when my first was almost 2.
It took me just about a year to get pregnant, so I had my second a few months shy of my 39th birthday - the kids are almost 4 years apart. It was a very rough, high-risk pregnancy.
In your case, I'd start trying once your first is six months old. It's going to be hard either way.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 09:34
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Planning a gap doesn't always work out, so just go for it, and you get what you get.
- kids at 36 and 39 with a MC in between.
- kids at 36 and 39 with a MC in between.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 09:29
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
first at 39, conceived naturally and fairly quickly. started trying again at 41, but as you can imagine it took a while and we had to go to advanced measures. 2nd at 44.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 07:59
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
34 with the first and 36 with the second. Thought about going for a third (to be born at 38) but decided that we would stick with 2.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 07:54
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Anonymous wrote:To the posters telling OP to get pregnant right away, are you not aware of the risks in doing so? It’s common knowledge that you should give your body a year at least to heal from the first birth before getting pregnant again due to the risks of a second pregnancy so soon.
Research suggests that beginning a pregnancy within six months of a live birth is associated with an increased risk of:
Premature birth
The placenta partially or completely peeling away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery (placental abruption)
Low birth weight
Congenital disorders
Schizophrenia
Maternal anemia
In addition, recent research suggests that closely spaced pregnancies might be associated with an increased risk of autism in second-born children. The risk is highest for pregnancies spaced less than 12 months apart.
Closely spaced pregnancies might not give a mother enough time to recover from pregnancy before moving on to the next. For example, pregnancy and breast-feeding can deplete your stores of nutrients, particularly folate. If you become pregnant before replacing those stores, it could affect your health or your baby's health. Inflammation of the genital tract that develops during pregnancy and doesn't completely heal before the next pregnancy could also play a role.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072
There sure are a lot of kids who are a year apart. I know several moms who got pregnant and didn’t even know they got pregnant. They never got their period and/or were breastfeeding. They joked that the myth that you can’t get pregnant when you are breastfeeding is false.
I just said don’t stop pregnancy. OP is almost 40 and I don’t know how she is but we weren’t doing the deed everyday with a baby.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 07:47
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
couldn't get pregnant after 35
Anonymous
02/19/2020 07:44
Subject: Re:If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I didn't have a second child.
same
same.
I was 40 when I had my child. We tried for a year for a second but it didn't happen. I didn't want to do fertility treatments and then I was not comfortable with the idea of having a second when I was in my mid 40's.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 07:09
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
To the posters telling OP to get pregnant right away, are you not aware of the risks in doing so? It’s common knowledge that you should give your body a year at least to heal from the first birth before getting pregnant again due to the risks of a second pregnancy so soon.
Research suggests that beginning a pregnancy within six months of a live birth is associated with an increased risk of:
Premature birth
The placenta partially or completely peeling away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery (placental abruption)
Low birth weight
Congenital disorders
Schizophrenia
Maternal anemia
In addition, recent research suggests that closely spaced pregnancies might be associated with an increased risk of autism in second-born children. The risk is highest for pregnancies spaced less than 12 months apart.
Closely spaced pregnancies might not give a mother enough time to recover from pregnancy before moving on to the next. For example, pregnancy and breast-feeding can deplete your stores of nutrients, particularly folate. If you become pregnant before replacing those stores, it could affect your health or your baby's health. Inflammation of the genital tract that develops during pregnancy and doesn't completely heal before the next pregnancy could also play a role.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072
Research suggests that beginning a pregnancy within six months of a live birth is associated with an increased risk of:
Premature birth
The placenta partially or completely peeling away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery (placental abruption)
Low birth weight
Congenital disorders
Schizophrenia
Maternal anemia
In addition, recent research suggests that closely spaced pregnancies might be associated with an increased risk of autism in second-born children. The risk is highest for pregnancies spaced less than 12 months apart.
Closely spaced pregnancies might not give a mother enough time to recover from pregnancy before moving on to the next. For example, pregnancy and breast-feeding can deplete your stores of nutrients, particularly folate. If you become pregnant before replacing those stores, it could affect your health or your baby's health. Inflammation of the genital tract that develops during pregnancy and doesn't completely heal before the next pregnancy could also play a role.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072
Anonymous
02/19/2020 06:02
Subject: Re:If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
I was 34 when I had DS, I didn’t have another one but my age didn’t play into that decision. I always knew I only wanted one and Ex-DH, before he was Ex, agreed with that family plan.
Anonymous
02/19/2020 00:03
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
36 for first. 41 for second. Wasn’t planning on second since I was older. She was a surprise. Had I started earlier, 5 years would have seemed way too far apart. But I have to say it works and outside of some bickering, they get along.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 23:55
Subject: Re:If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I didn't have a second child.
same
Me too
Anonymous
02/18/2020 23:48
Subject: If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
First at 34, second at 38. The 3.5 year gap has been good for us. For example, first started reading and could read short books soon after second was born. We could do books on tape for the eldest while baby slept and everyone could get a nap. The non-stop just feels a bit less so when there is an older, more self-sufficient child in the mix. It has been nice to have a gap in terms of what they need, so that while the youngest was an infant the oldest was ready for full time preschool. Now that the oldest is in elementary school I can do some parent-child classes alone with youngest.
They love each other and have started to play a lot more since the youngest became more verbal. Now youngest is 3 and they have pretend band practice, cuddle after school, older one reads to younger, etc.
They love each other and have started to play a lot more since the youngest became more verbal. Now youngest is 3 and they have pretend band practice, cuddle after school, older one reads to younger, etc.
Anonymous
02/18/2020 21:11
Subject: Re:If You Were An Older First Time Parent?
I would just not stop pregnancy and see how it goes. Maybe you will be pregnant next month or it will take 1-2 years. I would “try” harder when your child turns 1. Many people have kids 2 years apart regardless of how old the mom is.
I had kids at 30, 32 and 38 (3 months shy of turning 39). I’m 41 now and would go for a fourth if I was younger. We decided to stop. Even at 38, I worried about health risks. I feel like many kids have special needs these days. It seems more common with the last child. I feel lucky with 3 healthy kids. Don’t want to risk it having another at 42.
I had kids at 30, 32 and 38 (3 months shy of turning 39). I’m 41 now and would go for a fourth if I was younger. We decided to stop. Even at 38, I worried about health risks. I feel like many kids have special needs these days. It seems more common with the last child. I feel lucky with 3 healthy kids. Don’t want to risk it having another at 42.