Anonymous wrote:I didn't get my children baptized and I wasn't baptized either. I'm an atheist and so are my parents. My MIL is religious and I was fully ready to get the kids baptized for her sake. It wouldn't have bothered me at all. It would have had t been done in her church and in her hometown since we don't have a church. She never brought it up or pushed the issue so all was fine.

It turns out the she "secretly" baptized them herself with some water, etc. That's allowed in her religion, or sect or whatever you want to call it. I was slightly annoyed because there was no reason for it to be secretive but then I thought it was kinda endearing that she held them close for something important to her.

For me, MIL's baptism of the kids is a symbol of her love and is important to her. I wouldn't take that from her.

To me, it seems more like a desire to control and subvert parental influence.

My kids weren't baptized. Of course, that's because they (and I) are Jewish. But my very religious, Christian ILs had a huge problem with this. They pushed hard for a baptism when our oldest was an infant. Eventually, I agreed to work with their priest and see if a small, religiously-neutral (God was ok, Jesus not so much) blessing was a possibility. The priest was very helpful and ultimately, DH took DC to their church one afternoon on our way out of town after visiting the ILs. FIL showed up, which went against our agreement and had me this close to calling the whole thing off, but in the end it worked out and surprisingly, the ILs didn't even ask for the same with DC #2. I'm not sure if it's because they think they "won" and that was enough, or just the opposite and they realized it didn't accomplish for them what they'd hoped so they didn't bother trying again.

Both kids did have baby namings. Part of the push with #1 may have been that we made a bigger deal out of it, inviting the whole family and hosting a lunch to celebrate. I learned my lesson and kept the ceremony for #2 very small and quiet, with only my immediate family (my sister and BIL are my kids' godparents) present so to this day I'm not even sure if the ILs know we did it.

I didn't get my children baptized and I wasn't baptized either. I'm an atheist and so are my parents. My MIL is religious and I was fully ready to get the kids baptized for her sake. It wouldn't have bothered me at all. It would have had t been done in her church and in her hometown since we don't have a church. She never brought it up or pushed the issue so all was fine.

It turns out the she "secretly" baptized them herself with some water, etc. That's allowed in her religion, or sect or whatever you want to call it. I was slightly annoyed because there was no reason for it to be secretive but then I thought it was kinda endearing that she held them close for something important to her.

For me, MIL's baptism of the kids is a symbol of her love and is important to her. I wouldn't take that from her.

^^^I am surprised that the priest was unable to help you find Godparents in the parish.

I am a Catholic. I did not get my children baptize in the Catholic church because I did not have Godparents. I would have loved to find a parish to baptize my children, but without Godparents it was a no go. My children were eventually baptized in a Methodist church. I told the pastor about my situation and my children were baptized the following week.

The Catholic church makes you jump through hoops and hurdles. People like myself do not have close friends or relatives whom are Catholic. The majority of the people in my family left the Catholic church years ago. The more I pleaded with the priest the more agitated he got. At that very moment I realized that I will never be able to get my children baptize in the Catholic church because of the Godparent rule. So, one of my close friends whose husband is a Methodist pastor gladly baptized my children. If I would have depended on the Catholic church my children would not be baptize because the church neglects the fact that some people do not have a support system of Catholics who are in good standing with the church.

The church stance was basically no Godparents screw you. I attended Baptismal Preparation courses too, but that was not enough. I attended mass twice a week. Gave money to the parish, volunteer, etc. I was a faithful and devoted Catholic. However, I was shocked to discovered the lack of support that the church gave me because I could not find Godparents.

OP, I wish you good luck on finding Godparents because without them you may have to find another Christian denomination (Episcopal or Methodist) to baptize your child.

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith marriage here. We attended pre marriage counseling where we learned a baptism is a covenant with God to raise your child in the church you had them baptized. In Judiasm, a bris or baby naming is a covenant with God to raise your child Jewish. Cannot imagine making a promise to God knowing I wasn't going to keep it.

But OP doesn't believe in God, so it's an empty promise that allows the rest of the family to keep their faith, which includes baptizing their children. And if they married in the Church, OP already made this promise in the wedding vow.

I did. I suppose that I am more “religious but not spiritual.” I am not sure about God or the afterlife. I have had years of my life that I didn’t believe at all. But I like to attend mass. I like the prayers as a form of meditation. My entire family is catholic, and I like the sense of community, being part of my family in this way, and being part of something bigger than myself. I told DH this when we started dating. It hasn’t been my experience that you have to really believe in order to benefit yourself and others from being part of a faith community.

Anyway, I would do it if I were in your shoes. I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it, but I would appease my mom. Also, from a pragmatic perspective, it’s so much easier to do when they are babies. As kids get older, the requirements to join the church become more intensive. And maybe you will want to go back to the Catholic Church at some point, maybe you will move somewhere where the Catholic school is the best school in town, maybe your child will want to marry a catholic and have a catholic wedding someday. Unless you are definitely raising your child atheist or in another religion, from a practical sense it makes sense to take the thirty minutes and just do it now.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I just welcomed our son in September. I didn't grow up religious, and he grew up in catholic home. He is is not very religious, but his parents are practicing Catholics. My husband wants to get our son baptized, but I feel like a fraud. His parents really want him to get baptized. I don't know if we should.

Yes, we did, but we are Catholic.

You might find it difficult to get your child baptized in a Catholic church, depending on the church. Some are more stringent about the parents being practicing Catholics (or at least one parent with the other one consenting to the child being raised Catholic).

I'm not especially religious - we go to Episcopal church on Christmas and Easter. I used to go a lot more often, but just got out of the habit because there are other things I'd rather do on a Sunday morning. (like yoga.) My ex is even less religious than I am but not a full-on atheist.

I got my daughter baptized with my ex's blessing. It's important to my parents, his parents were happy, he was fine with it, and I feel like she's sort of "covered" on the whole heaven/hell thing. Plus if she decides to be more religious in the future, she has Baptism out of the way.

We're currently deciding what to do about Confirmation; it's more of a pain, but my parents are pushing for it and daughter is curious about the first communions and confirmations she sees her friends doing.

Mine were baptized. As a non religious person I had agreed that they would be raised in my DHs religion. It was important to him and his family. They went through the confirmation process but generally lost interest or changed their beliefs after that. One of my DCs got married recently and chose to have a non religious ceremony.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interfaith marriage here. We attended pre marriage counseling where we learned a baptism is a covenant with God to raise your child in the church you had them baptized. In Judiasm, a bris or baby naming is a covenant with God to raise your child Jewish. Cannot imagine making a promise to God knowing I wasn't going to keep it.

c’mon, it’s a covenant with a fairy tale. We did it to appease our parents but it’s all bs. Sometimes it’s not worth the family drama.

So you'd feel comfortable signing a contract with a non-existant company promising to do things you don't intend to do?

We got our children baptized, but that's because we're at-church-every-week Protestants in a denomination that does baby baptisms and we really believed what we were doing.

OP, I'm not sure what about baptism your husband thinks will bless the baby. At least in the denominations I've been apart of (Presbyterian, Anglican), the blessing promised to the child is being raised in the faith and very sincere prayers for them to come to that faith and continue in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not anti-religion. I’m more “ spiritual but not religious”. I believe in god and an afterlife. I’m just not someone who goes to church. My husband was raised going to church. He doesn’t now but he believes in god. He wants us to not only baptize for his family, but because he believes it will bless the baby, I’m not for it against it. I just feel like it would be weird to get him baptized when we are not practicing Catholics.

What kind of god and afterlife do you believe in if you aren’t religious? Where would we go after death? Just curious.

You are going to the same place the dinosaurs went.