I don’t think about other people, but I think that in 99% of the cases a nanny/mother’s helper is much much more useful than a dad/husband!
My kid is almost 10 so I don’t need a nanny but I think I will need a driver soon, I hate it when I have to leave the house or work just to drive him somewhere and then back in an hour, ugh!!!!

Anonymous wrote:If they hire help to simplify their lives and spend more quality time with their kids, I’m happy for them. The only time I feel it is sad is if they barely get to see their kids.

+1
That's me in a nutshell.

About all help, if parent puts in effort to hire good people whom the child loves and has chemistry with, it seems a plus all round. On weekend helpers specifically, great if it helps you recharge. Parenting is a marathon and I had a lot of help when mine were babies. Burning out and resenting your kids, letting screens babysit, getting so rundown I couldn’t give good care — I feel those are less preferable for me than the trade offs in play when hiring help.

If they hire help to simplify their lives and spend more quality time with their kids, I’m happy for them. The only time I feel it is sad is if they barely get to see their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to daycare/pre-school and we also have a part time nanny from 4-7 every day and 3-7 on the weekends. I could honestly not care less if someone judges me for that. I am with my kids almost the entire time the nanny is around and it just means an extra set of hands and a very clean house.

Are you at least in excellent shape given that you have all that help?

I am in pretty good shape, but I am also a lawyer so even with all the help there isn't a whole lot of time left to work out!

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to daycare/pre-school and we also have a part time nanny from 4-7 every day and 3-7 on the weekends. I could honestly not care less if someone judges me for that. I am with my kids almost the entire time the nanny is around and it just means an extra set of hands and a very clean house.

Are you at least in excellent shape given that you have all that help?

I think it’s great when people hire help for what they need. I wish I had the money for it! So I guess if I think of them, it is with a bit of envy.

Good for them!

Anonymous wrote:You are asking so I will answer. I think people who can't handle their own kids, for a weekend here and there, are incompetent. I'm not talking about a yard guy or a housekeeper or even a FT nanny. I mean someone who can't figure out how to entertain their own kids for a rainy afternoon, or when their spouses are on a trip. I would never dream of saying anything, making faces or gossiping about you. Having said all of that, you shouldn't care about what others think of you. You keep doing you and live your life how you want to, regardless of what others think.

No one is saying can’t handle. It’s enjoy more

OP how did you find a mother's helper?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really think anything of what others do but if you’re asking ... I think it is weak and you should be able to handle your own kids. But I am also from the midwest and value not “being spoiled.”

I have 3 kids and have been amazed at how many people ask me if I have help and have been surprised when I say no (after first having to clarify what they are asking!). Um, no, they are my kids.

Oh good, it only took one page for the sanctimommies to show up. We get it, you're awesome, the rest of us should never had had kids, etc. etc.

Pp isn’t sanctimonious unless you have evidence she hires help? You are using the word incorrectly. In order to be sanctimonious both piety and hypocrisy must be present. You mean “smug.”

I don’t believe you have to be hypocritical to be sanctimonious. I’ve always seen it defined as showy moral superiority.

My kids go to daycare/pre-school and we also have a part time nanny from 4-7 every day and 3-7 on the weekends. I could honestly not care less if someone judges me for that. I am with my kids almost the entire time the nanny is around and it just means an extra set of hands and a very clean house.

When I just had one child, yes, I judged them. Now that I have two, I would love love love to have at least a mother's helper.

I used to judge it harshly before I had kids. I probably even judged it after one kid. Now that we have three - no judgement, and I’m one of those moms with help.

People underestimate how hired help can facilitate MORE time with the kids, not less. I SAH, but having a housekeeper means I spend more time with the kids instead of cleaning, and a part-time nanny means instead of dragging all the kids to one’s activity, I can send the kid with the nanny and go play with the others. Really, just like OP describes experiencing with the mother’s helper. You can focus on the kids more when you have help.

You are asking so I will answer. I think people who can't handle their own kids, for a weekend here and there, are incompetent. I'm not talking about a yard guy or a housekeeper or even a FT nanny. I mean someone who can't figure out how to entertain their own kids for a rainy afternoon, or when their spouses are on a trip. I would never dream of saying anything, making faces or gossiping about you. Having said all of that, you shouldn't care about what others think of you. You keep doing you and live your life how you want to, regardless of what others think.