"You're wrong." My 11-year old's response when called fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. If it's the first time, I would equip my child with a few zingers for the next time it happens. If there is a pattern of name-calling, then it crosses the line into bullying and I would file a report.

I'd be careful about zingers. the meanest girls often fall apart the most when you insult them back and they can be dramatic and try to get the girl in trouble. This is what I would do:

1.) Get ideas from my daughter about how to handle it. Chose between things like ignoring, confidently turning and saying "Actually my pediatrician says I am a healthy weight, but uh...thanks for your concern!" or something else.

2.)With my daughter's permission just let the PE teacher know and let the teacher know how your daughter plans to address it next time. Ask her not to get involved...yet. This provides insurance if your daughter snaps and says something mean back. At least the PE teacher will know it wasn't unprovoked.

If the objective is to have her picked on even more, than go with this. Otherwise no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. If it's the first time, I would equip my child with a few zingers for the next time it happens. If there is a pattern of name-calling, then it crosses the line into bullying and I would file a report.

I'd be careful about zingers. the meanest girls often fall apart the most when you insult them back and they can be dramatic and try to get the girl in trouble. This is what I would do:

1.) Get ideas from my daughter about how to handle it. Chose between things like ignoring, confidently turning and saying "Actually my pediatrician says I am a healthy weight, but uh...thanks for your concern!" or something else.

2.)With my daughter's permission just let the PE teacher know and let the teacher know how your daughter plans to address it next time. Ask her not to get involved...yet. This provides insurance if your daughter snaps and says something mean back. At least the PE teacher will know it wasn't unprovoked.

Who cares??

I sub at middle school, btw.

Who cares if your daughter or son gets in trouble for (verbally) standing up to a bully?? What do you think the permanent consequence will be OTHER than the fact that your child will gain some confidence? I'd be happy for them to take a detention of a call home for that. A well placed zinger will usually scare a bully off because they don't want to be embarrassed by their peers.

Love the Pretty in Pink clip.

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. If it's the first time, I would equip my child with a few zingers for the next time it happens. If there is a pattern of name-calling, then it crosses the line into bullying and I would file a report.

I'd be careful about zingers. the meanest girls often fall apart the most when you insult them back and they can be dramatic and try to get the girl in trouble. This is what I would do:

1.) Get ideas from my daughter about how to handle it. Chose between things like ignoring, confidently turning and saying "Actually my pediatrician says I am a healthy weight, but uh...thanks for your concern!" or something else.

2.)With my daughter's permission just let the PE teacher know and let the teacher know how your daughter plans to address it next time. Ask her not to get involved...yet. This provides insurance if your daughter snaps and says something mean back. At least the PE teacher will know it wasn't unprovoked.

Anonymous wrote:motor delays? At 13? Doesn't it move into the category of "disability" at this point?

In which case, it's particularly egregious because kids are noticing DD is different, but your DD doesn't have the language to explain it-- sounds like you are ignoring the issue/s as well. It would be much easier if she could say "I can't run because I have disability in my legs" which would probably inspire kids to be a little kinder instead of judgy.

OP here. Nope. She’ll always have dyspraxia, but it’s not a disability. It just takes her a bit longer than her peers to figure out the sequence of steps necessary for certain sport activities, and she’s not a jock. Plenty of teens have motor issues. Where from my post did you get that I’m ignoring her issues?
DD has the language to explain it, but chooses not to; she’s 13, and self-conscious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least I don't have a mustache like you, you f*ing whore.

Lol. I'd give her a few stunning things to say back. Things that would knock them right back and run home to mom. But, maybe that's just me.

Anyone have any other zingers that come to mind?

Tell her to be the Jena against the Bettys of the world

https://youtu.be/Xi1lVSqSSuA

Why is that girl smoking in the middle of a gym class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't blink. Good grief what the hell has happened that a kid can't let an insult roll off their back and keep moving forward.

You're probably the type that calls people fat though, aren't you?

OP, I would have your DD tell you if anything else occurs but let it go if it's a one-off.

I'm sorry. Middle school girls are tough.

I was called all sorts of names....because I was fat. I would have been mortified if my parents did something after one comment. Teach her how to respond. If it becomes bullying (repetitive, she is singled out), then you go to the school.

This, a billion times over!
I WOULD NOT email the school unless the insults become targeted and repetitive. I'd tell my DC to find something about the bullies and use it to snap back at them, in case they really target her. If they were just 'talking' behind OP's daughter's back, she should just ignore it.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't blink. Good grief what the hell has happened that a kid can't let an insult roll off their back and keep moving forward.

Agree. Call the PE teacher in middle school? She would be ridiculed for life because of helicopter mommy.

Teach her confidence and tell her kids do that when they feel crummy about themselves. They say awful things when they feel awful on the inside. I sympathize with how bad their lives must be to want others to feel bad too. Never play victim. Tell her to take the high road and ignore.

motor delays? At 13? Doesn't it move into the category of "disability" at this point?

In which case, it's particularly egregious because kids are noticing DD is different, but your DD doesn't have the language to explain it-- sounds like you are ignoring the issue/s as well. It would be much easier if she could say "I can't run because I have disability in my legs" which would probably inspire kids to be a little kinder instead of judgy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t “do” anything! You listen to your kid, give her sympathy and reassurance if she needs it. You can brainstorm responses for the future if she wants it.

This. I’d tell my daughter I was sorry that happened to her and that some people are really mean. I’d also use it as a opportunity to remind her that it hurts when you talk about someone.

+1. This is exactly how I'd handle it. Also to the PPs who suggested maybe the girls didn't mean for her to hear? Puhleeze. If they didn't want her to know, they wouldn't have said her name. Saying something while walking behind someone is exactly how you let that person hear what you're saying. If the girls were walking in front of OP's DD, that would be different. Those girls are bitches, but your DD needs to let it roll off her back and ignore them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's interesting that you chose to post your DD's height and weight. Would this have been ok if it was about another girl who was heavier?

My point is that your DD's physical stats are irrelevant in this situation...unless you think they are.

No, I didn’t even know her weight until a recent checkup, we don’t weigh at home. I assure you I’m not focused on it. I guess I’m just puzzling through why they would make such a comment.

Np. Because kids and people in general can be mean. They wanted to hurt your daughter. You must have experienced this in your life.

]You do nothing. These girls are calling her fat because they are envious of her womanly curves. It happened to my DD too and the girls who were being mean had reasons to be jealous and mean.

Let your DD read "queen bees and wanna bes" and then put your attention towards the following for her - studies, activities, skin care, dental care, hair, exercise ( to make it a habit and be fit, not to lose weight), clean nutrition.

My DD is 21 and in college now, getting a triple major in STEM. She is tall and with curves. She has great teeth, glowing flawless skin and wonderful hair. She has a lot of friends and she is kind to people. She is not a doormat and having had this kind of experience in MS means that she is able to remove toxic friends from her life.

When the bullying started, I concentrated on getting her and myself educated, and working on what could be worked on. It has paid great dividends.

You cannot change these girls because they are bitchy. What you can do is ignore them, know that they speak falsehoods because they are jealous, And keep growing in all fields. If your kid is traumatized and has feelings of inadequacy then therapy and some concrete steps for self-improvement can be taken. But remember that your child does not have to change to please other children making mean and untrue comments. That will be going in a rabbit hole.

You do nothing. These girls are calling her fat because they are envious of her womanly curves. It happened to my DD too and the girls who were being mean had reasons to be jealous and mean.

Let your DD read "queen bees and wanna bes" and then put your attention towards the following for her - studies, activities, skin care, dental care, hair, exercise ( to make it a habit and be fit, not to lose weight), clean nutrition.

My DD is 21 and in college now, getting a triple major in STEM. She is tall and with curves. She has great teeth, glowing flawless skin

love the comeback insults. I tell my kids these kinds of things and we always agree NEVER to use them, just remember them when this kind of shit happens, in order to laugh to yourself and shrug it off at the time.

Anonymous wrote:At least I don't have a mustache like you, you f*ing whore.

Lol. I'd give her a few stunning things to say back. Things that would knock them right back and run home to mom. But, maybe that's just me.

Anyone have any other zingers that come to mind?

We need more zippy responses to shut down b!tches like these teens.