Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

A good lawyer can explain details. What was price of house when married? What is current value? How much principal paid down during marriage. If you were smart tell him what ever he needs and do what you have to get him to sell the house before divorce.

Lesson to other folks get your name on DEED!!!!!! I own two homes, my SAHM wife is on both deeds. He took money out of your pocket to pay down principal on a house he wants to keep. That is crazy. Also as a side not DONT DIVORCE IF LESS THAN YEARS!!!!!!! You need to be married ten years to get his SS In retirement.

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

I smell like you haven’t even let him know you want to get divorced yet and are planning your escape and just want your freedom from him and use him for his big salary to pay your way.

Have you been in the home for 7 years?

I hope your husband signed a prenup because you sound like a piece of work!

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

Here is another example (in MoCo). Husband was on the mortgage, wife gave up career to SAH.

Divorce decree allowed her to stay in the home for 36 months (he continued paying the mortgage, electricity, and gas). She received child support. She went back to school for her masters, then began working.

At the end of 36 months, she moved out, husband moved in. It's his house.

By then she was ready to buy her own home.

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

You really haven't thought this through. Please heed the advice others have given.

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

What? OP, you need actual professional advice and not an anonymous website because your questions show a terrifying lack of understanding of how any of this works.

How, for example, could he buy you out when you don't own any portion of the house?

My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

Of course he wants the house. But what do you get for raising kids for ten years?

I would check with your lawyer before you move out. It can be viewed as “abandonment” and then it works against you.

Anonymous wrote:Why cant she just buy a house now? Put it in her name, take out mortgage her name, show the joint tax return as proof of income.

She can if her soon to be ex-husband is on board. Again, you need more than just a tax return.

Anonymous wrote:Why cant she just buy a house now? Put it in her name, take out mortgage her name, show the joint tax return as proof of income.

Have you bought a house? That's definitely not all the bank wants. They want proof of income from the person borrowing the money.

Anonymous wrote:I've already seen a lawyer, so I'm just basing the spousal support estimate off what they told me.

OP, get a second opinion and don't select a lawyer based on how much they tell you they can get you. At the end of the day, the lawyers get paid whether you get screwed or not. Some of them will just tell you what they think you want to hear so you'll sign with them then they'll start billing you like mad.

My advice is to meet with another attorney and ask what you should reasonably expect. Meet with someone recommended to you by a friend who had a good experience with that attorney. Do some research on the subject. Once you're more informed, go to your husband and tell him you'd like to settle this without paying huge sums of money to lawyers. Make it clear to him that you will if he doesn't cooperate, but it's not in the best interest of either of you.

Right now you have some pretty crazy ideas of how you think this should go and what the relevant factors are. Get smarter so you can negotiate with your spouse without sounding clueless. It sounds like you both need to save your assets for yourselves instead of paying tens of thousands of dollars to attorneys.

Whatever you do, don't willingly move out of your house unless it's part of a signed settlement agreement that you're happy with.

Why cant she just buy a house now? Put it in her name, take out mortgage her name, show the joint tax return as proof of income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bank will look at the actual alimony/child support agreement. You will not be able to obtain a 30 year mortgage if your spousal support is only for five years. The prospect of potentially maybe accessing retirement funds early is not going to alleviate this situation. You need probable income for the length of the mortgage. That means either gainful employment or 30 years of alimony

How do people ever buy houses then? They could lose their job, and people will sell their house before 30 years is up. Is it really expected you'd be living there 30 years?

It's moot anyway because there are no houses for sale in the school district, so then what? Rent a house or apartment? Is a bank statement enough proof if I don't have a job?

You may be able to rent an apartment with a bank statement.

You almost certainly will find someone who will rent you a house that way. No corporate office to report to.

But honestly OP I wouldn’t move out. It sounds like you’re early in the divorce process. Don’t do anything impulsive.

OP, the marital home is also yours. I would push for buying him out by reducing your 50% in marital assets. You would be much better accepting a smaller share of his retirement to cover what he put into the house premarriage than trying to buy a new house now. Divorce is expensive. Buying a house also has a lot of upfront costs that you won’t be able to afford - your current house is a sure thing.

This is good advice OP. Listen to PP.

It keeps you in the school district. You don't have to spend $$$$$ on transaction costs to buy the house. Your worries about qualifying are reduced. The equity is a solid substitute for your share of his retirement. Truly, this is the best (only) solution.

If your kid's dad stays in the school district you may be able to live somewhere nearby but cheaper and keep the kid in his current school.

I agree with other posters that you are going to have trouble getting a mortgage or even a lease without a job and should consider what kind of work you're going to be looking for. Even if you get alimony it's not going to last the rest of your life. You need to start earning money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bank will look at the actual alimony/child support agreement. You will not be able to obtain a 30 year mortgage if your spousal support is only for five years. The prospect of potentially maybe accessing retirement funds early is not going to alleviate this situation. You need probable income for the length of the mortgage. That means either gainful employment or 30 years of alimony

How do people ever buy houses then? They could lose their job, and people will sell their house before 30 years is up. Is it really expected you'd be living there 30 years?

It's moot anyway because there are no houses for sale in the school district, so then what? Rent a house or apartment? Is a bank statement enough proof if I don't have a job?

You may be able to rent an apartment with a bank statement.

You almost certainly will find someone who will rent you a house that way. No corporate office to report to.

But honestly OP I wouldn’t move out. It sounds like you’re early in the divorce process. Don’t do anything impulsive.

OP, the marital home is also yours. I would push for buying him out by reducing your 50% in marital assets. You would be much better accepting a smaller share of his retirement to cover what he put into the house premarriage than trying to buy a new house now. Divorce is expensive. Buying a house also has a lot of upfront costs that you won’t be able to afford - your current house is a sure thing.