Anonymous wrote:Those of you who are lonely, do you invite people over? Do you reach out to people? Do you host?

I am pretty friendly but also a bit of an introvert, but I make a huge effort, largely for the sake of my kids and husband. I dread all the hosting leading up to it but am always happy I did it. I find that people around here are very receptive to being invited over. I don't keep track -- and at this point we have a pretty big network so it doesn't matter -- but I would assume we initiate more/do more group organizing than any others in our network. I think if you want it to happen, you have to make it happen. Except in very rare cases when there is a quick and deep connection, I find that friendships develop over time and through shared experiences. Why not make it happen?

Anonymous wrote:I have no friends or family close by. My family only calls me when they need money. They don't care how I am really, they just care if I can help them out. I've come to terms with that so it no longer bothers me. I'm alone but rarely lonely because I entertain myself. Was thinking about this subject recently. I choose not to make friends because I don't have the energy to do the friend's thing nor do I want to hear every tidbit of their lives. Honestly, my life schedule doesn't permit it. Most everyone around me works so I don't have anything to contribute to a friendship. I find it to be exhausting just thinking about it. My life would seem strange to anyone so I keep it to myself. I unplugged my house phone over a year ago and only turn my cell phone on during the hours I'm awake. Only 3 people have my number. I just don't want to be bothered. In my world there is nothing wrong with being non social. I don't feel the need to be social. If I did I'd just go grocery shopping. The stores are full of people. When I had kids at home I did what I had to do be the parental face but I hated it. I'm not shy. I just don't like being something I'm not. My husband is very people loving and enjoys being around others. I still don't know how we came to be together. I guess opposites do attract.

Making friends is easy, growing that friendship is hard. It takes work. I don't want to work it.

My husband is my best friend so I do things with him. It's the way I like it.

Anonymous wrote:Me! In life I have had maybe 3 close friends. The last one I made in 8th grade and we only see each other every three years or so. I don’t hang out with other women at all... despite my best efforts, I’ve been to maybe 3 play dates and 2 adult parties (DH’s work friends) in the past 4 years. No other socialization beyond going to a couple of block party type things and a cousin’s wedding. I’ve tried making friends but it doesn’t really seem to fit who I am and people don’t seem to want to get to know me anyway. I have actually considered moving back to my hometown to be near family, just because it seems to be considered abnormal to have no social circle or support at all. I wonder if I’m just a weird person. I am consistently tested as a Meyer Briggs INTJ, which I’m told is extremely rare, especially among women, so perhaps my actions are often misinterpreted.

Anonymous wrote:Apart from DH, I have no local family, friends or acquaintances at all. Nobody I would feel comfortable even asking to have coffee. When I turn DS’s school forms in, I don’t even list an alternative emergency contact.

When I have tried to strike up a friendship, it’s been wasted effort — people are snobs about my child’s hand me downs, “mom friends” seem fine to get together when I initiate but if I don’t contact first 6 months could go by without a peep, I get involved in a new group but magically everyone else seems to click and I am awkwardly excluded, list goes on. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but I don’t think I am capable of having friends. It’s bewildering and I’ve even asked my DH to smell my hair and breath and clothes to see if I smell or something! My only worry now is whether my son is being properly socialized or whether he is missing something because of my lack of social circle.

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of acquaintances. I think many would see me as someone with many friends, but I don't have anyone to "go deep" with. I'm really lonely.

Anonymous wrote:Me. I have one childhood friend who lives in another state and we text a couple times of year and get together every couple of years.

Otherwise I have acquaintances (neighbors and DH’s work people) whom I might get together with once a year. When we had a child a few years ago I did try to join all sorts of mom groups and child activities and nothing clicked. I’ve given up. I’m POC/mixed in a mostly white or single ethnicity area so that’s part of it.

Anonymous wrote:Me. I have one childhood friend who lives in another state and we text a couple times of year and get together every couple of years.

Otherwise I have acquaintances (neighbors and DH’s work people) whom I might get together with once a year. When we had a child a few years ago I did try to join all sorts of mom groups and child activities and nothing clicked. I’ve given up. I’m POC/mixed in a mostly white or single ethnicity area so that’s part of it.

Anonymous wrote:According to the Ben and Jen thread in the entertainment board, Angelina Jolie has no friends.