Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 18:44     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm really sorry this happened to your child.

I would consider calling other schools you had applied to and seeing if they have a spot for an emergency situation. I'm not 100% that every school publishes an empty spot if it comes available. I could be wrong about this, but I don't think it can hurt if this school continues to handle this so poorly.

Great idea. OP’s child is not safe where she is.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 18:43     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:11:23 here. Did the pediatrician document physical injury? From your post it seems no one was particularly helpful. Is that why you’re not yet sure how to proceed?


OP here. No physical injury, but my daughter was really upset by the exam, and she was really sad/withdrawn after the exam.

Was the pediatrician a familiar face to you and your daughter? They should not have traumatized her.


Yes she is a wonderful pediatrician and she is very familiar. We went to see her b/c our daughter was refusing to wipe or wash her pee-pee b/c she said there was a crack in there and it hurt. We went to the doctor so she could look at the crack. When the doctor said there was no crack, our daughter was really upset. She said there was a crack and it hurt and blood was coming out.

Its so heartbreaking to hear all of this.


Most doctors, I only have boys, but do a yearly exam down there and talk to them about their private parts (no one should touch, including a doctor without parent permission, etc). However, could this have happened and something else. Kid can bleed if they have too hard poops and it happen a few times and the blood could have been coming from somewhere else and scared her. Or, the crack healed itself enough that it stopped bleeding. There are so many explanations but you are better off reacting and apologizing later than ignoring the situation.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 18:40     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow she told you to calm down? What kind of sh is that?


OP here. AND she told me that I needed to be "professional." She said this is a "professional" environment.

And heres the thing, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't loud. I was angry. But if I was yelling or loud, that would have been ENTIRELY appropriate.

I cannot BELIEVE that this woman is in charge of the health, safety and wellbeing of so many children.


You were professional. You took your child for medical care and reported it to the appropriate authorities. If it didn't happen, so be it but you did the right thing and if it did happen you are not only protecting your child, but protecting other kids and hopefully get the child the right help as more than likely someone is abusing the child that abused yours. Three year olds don't normally do that except if they saw it or it was done to them.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 18:38     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you handled it well. No way would I return my child to that school.


I hear you, but if we take her out of a school she loves, she could get the message that reporting leads to punishment. This is particularly the case when I can't find a similar school midway through the school year.

She could go back to her old preschool/daycare but she doesn't like that school and thinks that going back there is a punishment even on PD and days off of school.


Find a new school. Take her on tours and let her have say. You tell her how proud you are of her telling you and doing such a good job with the police, social workers, and doctors and make a big fuss over you are going to find a great new school that she gets to pick now as she's a big girl and they will do a better job of keeping her safe (hopefully). The school is ignoring the issue and failed to keep her safe. She'll find a new school she loves and that will keep her safe.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 18:34     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
OP, I'm really sorry this happened to your child.

I would consider calling other schools you had applied to and seeing if they have a spot for an emergency situation. I'm not 100% that every school publishes an empty spot if it comes available. I could be wrong about this, but I don't think it can hurt if this school continues to handle this so poorly.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 17:41     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thank you all (well most of you) for your recommendations.

We called CPS, filed a report.

Visited the pediatrician.

Talked to MY therapist.

Filed a police report

Talked to Safe Shores.

The school HAS NOT reported (CPS checked for us)

We went back and forth a/b the best situation for our child. She loves the school so much, so we decided to ask her to be moved to another classroom. We met with the head of lower school and she was UTTERLY indifferent. I thought she would be in CYA mode, but she literally couldn't care less. When I said this was about my child's safety, she told me to CALM DOWN. We basically rushed out of there, grabbed our kid and now I'm home trying to figure out what to do.

We emailed the school administrators. We're in DC Charter, no schools have mid year openings, not sure what to do.


OP, I'm so sorry this happened to your DD.

The school head behaved terribly. While an incident like this should not happen, when it does happen, you need school admins who take it very seriously and move swiftly to report it, get counseling for everyone, fire teachers who let this happen, and to fix the situation that allowed it to happen. As bad as the original incident is, I think its worse that the school is not handling this incident professionally.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 17:28     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
I would've asked her what kind of professional environment allows a situation to get that far? Ridiculous. Turn her words around on her and hold her to them. If those boys are still there all the other children are at risk and other parents should know.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 17:23     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
No advice OP but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for you and your child. It sounds like you are doing everything right.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 16:48     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
The principal was unreasonable. The board at most charters is the one who hires the principal. Ergo, I would complain to the board. They need to know about this anyway, because if they are halfway decent they are going to worry about you suing and they are going to want to make you happy to avoid that.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 16:43     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow she told you to calm down? What kind of sh is that?


OP here. AND she told me that I needed to be "professional." She said this is a "professional" environment.

And heres the thing, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't loud. I was angry. But if I was yelling or loud, that would have been ENTIRELY appropriate.

I cannot BELIEVE that this woman is in charge of the health, safety and wellbeing of so many children.


Completely inappropriate on her part. So sorry that you're dealing with this. I can't possibly comprehend. When you're ready, I suggest going as public as possible and making these people accountable for their actions or lack of.

I understand keeping your child there for the most part, but it's so hard with people running the school like this. Best of luck to you.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 16:25     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:Wow she told you to calm down? What kind of sh is that?


OP here. AND she told me that I needed to be "professional." She said this is a "professional" environment.

And heres the thing, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't loud. I was angry. But if I was yelling or loud, that would have been ENTIRELY appropriate.

I cannot BELIEVE that this woman is in charge of the health, safety and wellbeing of so many children.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 16:24     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:11:23 here. Did the pediatrician document physical injury? From your post it seems no one was particularly helpful. Is that why you’re not yet sure how to proceed?


OP here. No physical injury, but my daughter was really upset by the exam, and she was really sad/withdrawn after the exam.

Was the pediatrician a familiar face to you and your daughter? They should not have traumatized her.


Yes she is a wonderful pediatrician and she is very familiar. We went to see her b/c our daughter was refusing to wipe or wash her pee-pee b/c she said there was a crack in there and it hurt. We went to the doctor so she could look at the crack. When the doctor said there was no crack, our daughter was really upset. She said there was a crack and it hurt and blood was coming out.

Its so heartbreaking to hear all of this.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 15:44     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:11:23 here. Did the pediatrician document physical injury? From your post it seems no one was particularly helpful. Is that why you’re not yet sure how to proceed?


OP here. No physical injury, but my daughter was really upset by the exam, and she was really sad/withdrawn after the exam.

Was the pediatrician a familiar face to you and your daughter? They should not have traumatized her.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 15:27     Subject: Re:School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Wow she told you to calm down? What kind of sh is that?
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2020 15:25     Subject: School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool
Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you handled it well. No way would I return my child to that school.


I hear you, but if we take her out of a school she loves, she could get the message that reporting leads to punishment. This is particularly the case when I can't find a similar school midway through the school year.

She could go back to her old preschool/daycare but she doesn't like that school and thinks that going back there is a punishment even on PD and days off of school.