On DCUM everyone's response is to either crap on you or tell you to play hardball, but have you tried communicating to your husband about this ?

1. Explain that walking up stairs with an infant is really difficult. Explain that early on you are going to be the primary caregiver and it's upsetting to you that he's not taking seriously how difficult this will make things for you. Explain that you feel like he doesn't really respect your concerns.

2. Explain that you don't want a roofdeck and his flippancy about spending 80K on something *he* likes while ignoring your concerns makes you feel like you're not respected and not a equal partner in the process.

3. As someone else suggested, sit down with him and put together a list of your priorities and must-haves and what you might be willing to give up on. Figure out how much you're comfortable spending and use that list to guide your decisions going forward. I've found that it's much easier to navigate fights about money and big decisions if you have some kind of organized framework rather than fighting in the moment.

Lol don’t be lazy, you’ll be fine. I have a baby and a 3 yr old we do okay. You’ll find you’re going to want to switch to a convertible car seat sooner than later anyways.

so a couple of/few years of stairs is = to 270,000?

Is your DH willing to do ALL the grocery shopping and errand running for the foreseeable future with that third floor walk up? How does one even get a newborn, a stroller, and a diaper bag safely down three flights of stairs?

I would not buy anything without an elevator. Dealbreaker with a newborn and you don't usually have a car (so does that mean you will be the one schlepping baby and all baby's stuff to daycare?)

https://www.illinoispolicy.org/reports/property-tax-for-pensions-plan-would-pummel-illinois-homeowners/


https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/03/12/why-are-people-fleeing-illinois-three-personal-stories/

https://wirepoints.org/chicago-feds-answer-for-illinois-pension-crisis-is-a-statewide-property-tax-wirepoints-original/

https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-mcqueary-opinion-illinois-population-0105-20180104-story.html



https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/editorials/ct-editorial-exodus-chicago-property-values-20191206-akoamapwnzdwvmhagsozdbzxey-story.html


Husband is right. Spend less.

No walk ups with a baby.

just for some perspective, you are likely annoying the sh*t out of your husband with your demands. regardless of affordability, the cost differential is significant and you come across as if you don't care or don't want to see that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For $770,000 you could find a beautiful 4BR single family home in Elmurst walking sitance to the train. $770k for a condo in Chicago, nowhere near the lake? NFW.

OP here. We don't want to live in the suburbs. That would mean a huge commute for us since we both work in the city. We are city people and don't ever plan to live in the suburbs. We want something low maintenance. Chicago and other major cities are expensive. The lake really isn't all that spectacular.

Not everyone wants to move to the suburbs.

Anonymous wrote:For $770,000 you could find a beautiful 4BR single family home in Elmurst walking sitance to the train. $770k for a condo in Chicago, nowhere near the lake? NFW.

OP here. We don't want to live in the suburbs. That would mean a huge commute for us since we both work in the city. We are city people and don't ever plan to live in the suburbs. We want something low maintenance. Chicago and other major cities are expensive. The lake really isn't all that spectacular.

For $770,000 you could find a beautiful 4BR single family home in Elmurst walking sitance to the train. $770k for a condo in Chicago, nowhere near the lake? NFW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should stay put and have the baby and then you will both know what life is like with a stroller, car seat, groceries and no energy for rooftop parties.


I would definitely want an elevator and extra room, lots of storage, etc. rooftop deck looks cool but you will be terrified of baby falling, its too freaking cold (or hot) and your social life will not be that amazing with a toddler.

OP here. We live in a very tiny 1 bedroom apartment. We need space for the baby and everything that comes with having a kid. I am aware what it’s like with kids with stairs.

But is your husband...

Anonymous wrote:I think you should stay put and have the baby and then you will both know what life is like with a stroller, car seat, groceries and no energy for rooftop parties.


I would definitely want an elevator and extra room, lots of storage, etc. rooftop deck looks cool but you will be terrified of baby falling, its too freaking cold (or hot) and your social life will not be that amazing with a toddler.

OP here. We live in a very tiny 1 bedroom apartment. We need space for the baby and everything that comes with having a kid. I am aware what it’s like with kids with stairs.

I think you should stay put and have the baby and then you will both know what life is like with a stroller, car seat, groceries and no energy for rooftop parties.


I would definitely want an elevator and extra room, lots of storage, etc. rooftop deck looks cool but you will be terrified of baby falling, its too freaking cold (or hot) and your social life will not be that amazing with a toddler.

Go with your choice.