Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:59
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
I have three kids and it's wonderful. One of my kids has special needs, and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I doubt any of your kids are even half as awesome as he is! 
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:39
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Three would’ve been nice if we had 30% more money and my second baby wasn’t so difficult. I couldn’t do that again. Also I’m 41 too and I think that it’s just too old for me. I feel like we won the jackpot already having two healthy kids. If I was <38, and could afford all kinds of help I’d go for it. No regrets though because I know I’m a better mom to my two because we stopped there.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:33
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
We have four but we're a gay couple so each of us carried and birthed two.
It's the perfect number for our family. I've never found it overwhelming nor have I wanted more than four.
It's the perfect number for our family. I've never found it overwhelming nor have I wanted more than four.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:27
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
1 and done! Life is simple and straightforward, and I feel like I have the best of both worlds as a parent, spouse, and individual. Once in a blue moon I see a baby and think, "what if?", but then reality hits and I know I don't actually want to rock the boat and start over!
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:22
Subject: Re:How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Anonymous wrote:We have 3 (twins and a third) and debated for years about having a 4th. In retrospect I'm so happy we didn't have the 4th.
Why?
-I've found the older my kids get, the crazier their (and our) lives are. Mine are now 13, 13, 10. We run like crazy people taking them to practices, school events, concerts, parties, etc.
I feel like I exist in roller skates and I'm always driving. Having multiple kids is easy when they're young and REALLY easy when they're under 5 and all you're worrying about is feeding them, dressing them and getting them to sleep. In my experience it gets nuts when they're in middle school.
-I'm now 45 and I'm far more tired than I was at 40. I felt like 41-42 was interchangeable with 30 or 35. These last few years I've felt age creep on. I've discussed this with many friends and we all agree. There's a shift in energy, etc that happens mid 40's.
-We love to travel internationally with our kids and it gets SO much easier each year. We've gone on a big trip every year since our youngest was 2 (so the past 8 years). My kids became pros at sitting on long-haul flights (Asia, etc) since they were young. They visit museums, historical sights like it's their job. However, it all gets so much easier each year. Even if your kids are good travelers, when they're young they're just slower and everything takes a million years. Now at 13 and 10 they pack themselves. They can deal with jet lag without a hiccup. They can wait to pee if the next bathroom isn't for 2 more hours. They don't need a drink or complain even if they're thirsty. They can run for a train connection, etc. All these things (over the course of a vacation) make a trip far more enjoyable. Also we're now able to do far more interesting things--we just came back from skiing in Europe. Lats winter we went backpacking in Patagonia. None of this would be possible if we still had a young kid in the mix.
I'm an earlier poster with 2 who now and again regrets not having another (but generally happy with where we are). EVERYONE I know who has 3 has said the thing about how much harder it is when they're older. Sure, it's annoying to have a crawling baby and a potty training toddler etc etc, but the logistics of their activities and lives in general gets exponentially more difficult once they hit late elementary and you really need to have a plan in place for managing that (flexible jobs, strong family and/or neighborhood support, etc).
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:17
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Anonymous wrote:I have 2 and I have never once regretted the decision to not have a 3rd. I am even to the point where when friends went on on have #3, especially those who had #3 with a 5+ age gap after #2, I seriously can not understand why they would do that to themselves. I also feel incredibly lucky that I have 2 healthy kids and don't want to press my luck, yes, I know that luck could still change at any minute.
Much of the world is built around a family of 4. Thinks like travel are less expensive and easier with 4 people- hotels rooms and we can all fit in one taxi when traveling abroad.
Same!
We've never felt like anything was missing. We had twins and instantly felt like our family was complete. Never once have either of us wavered in wanting another kid. I'm thankful we both feel this way.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:14
Subject: Re:How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At your age I’d be very happy with 2. Project out being in your late 50’s and early 60’s and what life will be like. We have three but I had my 3rd at 34 so we became empty nesters in our early 50’s with all educations paid for by 55.
This was important to us - the gift of a college education - so we stopped at 2 with no regrets.
Plus I don't want to tempt fate (DH & I are not cut out to raise a SN kid). We love our life with 2.
+1000
My SIL and BIL had four kids (when in reality they could barely afford one). Now their oldest is applying to colleges but has no money for school so he's going to be forced to decide where to go based on scholarships or aid and will have to take out loans. It's so sad because if they had just made better financial decisions he wouldn't be saddled with a ton of debt and an undergrad degree from a lower-tier school.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:09
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Anonymous wrote:If you got pregnant today you'd be 42 when the baby is born. A little long in the tooth, wouldn't you say? Two is plenty.
OP didn’t ask about this. Keep up!
Anonymous
01/10/2020 12:04
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
We have three. If you’re not 100% sure, stick with two.
The family dynamics and logistics are so much easier when one of our three is away for a day or more with friends, camp, etc. Plus I wouldn’t have another at 41 if you dropped a million dollars in my lap.
Our third wasn’t planned. She’s awesome, it’s amazing seeing the close sister relationship, but it was so hard during her infancy.
Also, DH and I both are one of three kids and we each have (middle) brothers who are complete train wrecks. Working really hard to make sure our middle kid doesn’t need up like them.
The family dynamics and logistics are so much easier when one of our three is away for a day or more with friends, camp, etc. Plus I wouldn’t have another at 41 if you dropped a million dollars in my lap.
Our third wasn’t planned. She’s awesome, it’s amazing seeing the close sister relationship, but it was so hard during her infancy.
Also, DH and I both are one of three kids and we each have (middle) brothers who are complete train wrecks. Working really hard to make sure our middle kid doesn’t need up like them.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 11:57
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
I have 2 and I have never once regretted the decision to not have a 3rd. I am even to the point where when friends went on on have #3, especially those who had #3 with a 5+ age gap after #2, I seriously can not understand why they would do that to themselves. I also feel incredibly lucky that I have 2 healthy kids and don't want to press my luck, yes, I know that luck could still change at any minute.
Much of the world is built around a family of 4. Thinks like travel are less expensive and easier with 4 people- hotels rooms and we can all fit in one taxi when traveling abroad.
Much of the world is built around a family of 4. Thinks like travel are less expensive and easier with 4 people- hotels rooms and we can all fit in one taxi when traveling abroad.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 11:52
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
I have an only child and wish I had two. Unfortunately marriage collapsed after one.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 11:29
Subject: Re:How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
We have 3 (twins and a third) and debated for years about having a 4th. In retrospect I'm so happy we didn't have the 4th.
Why?
-I've found the older my kids get, the crazier their (and our) lives are. Mine are now 13, 13, 10. We run like crazy people taking them to practices, school events, concerts, parties, etc.
I feel like I exist in roller skates and I'm always driving. Having multiple kids is easy when they're young and REALLY easy when they're under 5 and all you're worrying about is feeding them, dressing them and getting them to sleep. In my experience it gets nuts when they're in middle school.
-I'm now 45 and I'm far more tired than I was at 40. I felt like 41-42 was interchangeable with 30 or 35. These last few years I've felt age creep on. I've discussed this with many friends and we all agree. There's a shift in energy, etc that happens mid 40's.
-We love to travel internationally with our kids and it gets SO much easier each year. We've gone on a big trip every year since our youngest was 2 (so the past 8 years). My kids became pros at sitting on long-haul flights (Asia, etc) since they were young. They visit museums, historical sights like it's their job. However, it all gets so much easier each year. Even if your kids are good travelers, when they're young they're just slower and everything takes a million years. Now at 13 and 10 they pack themselves. They can deal with jet lag without a hiccup. They can wait to pee if the next bathroom isn't for 2 more hours. They don't need a drink or complain even if they're thirsty. They can run for a train connection, etc. All these things (over the course of a vacation) make a trip far more enjoyable. Also we're now able to do far more interesting things--we just came back from skiing in Europe. Lats winter we went backpacking in Patagonia. None of this would be possible if we still had a young kid in the mix.
Why?
-I've found the older my kids get, the crazier their (and our) lives are. Mine are now 13, 13, 10. We run like crazy people taking them to practices, school events, concerts, parties, etc.
I feel like I exist in roller skates and I'm always driving. Having multiple kids is easy when they're young and REALLY easy when they're under 5 and all you're worrying about is feeding them, dressing them and getting them to sleep. In my experience it gets nuts when they're in middle school.
-I'm now 45 and I'm far more tired than I was at 40. I felt like 41-42 was interchangeable with 30 or 35. These last few years I've felt age creep on. I've discussed this with many friends and we all agree. There's a shift in energy, etc that happens mid 40's.
-We love to travel internationally with our kids and it gets SO much easier each year. We've gone on a big trip every year since our youngest was 2 (so the past 8 years). My kids became pros at sitting on long-haul flights (Asia, etc) since they were young. They visit museums, historical sights like it's their job. However, it all gets so much easier each year. Even if your kids are good travelers, when they're young they're just slower and everything takes a million years. Now at 13 and 10 they pack themselves. They can deal with jet lag without a hiccup. They can wait to pee if the next bathroom isn't for 2 more hours. They don't need a drink or complain even if they're thirsty. They can run for a train connection, etc. All these things (over the course of a vacation) make a trip far more enjoyable. Also we're now able to do far more interesting things--we just came back from skiing in Europe. Lats winter we went backpacking in Patagonia. None of this would be possible if we still had a young kid in the mix.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 07:30
Subject: Re:How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
We had two kids. I was 38 when I had our second, and my husband was 45. So we are older parents.
My husband is from a family of 3 kids and I am from a family with 4 kids. As our own parents age, I can see the benefit of having more kids to help care for the parents. Being an only child would be hard!
I would have liked to have more kids, had we only started at a younger age. The cost of college is daunting, too. We'll be paying for colleges for at least 7 years.
My husband is from a family of 3 kids and I am from a family with 4 kids. As our own parents age, I can see the benefit of having more kids to help care for the parents. Being an only child would be hard!
I would have liked to have more kids, had we only started at a younger age. The cost of college is daunting, too. We'll be paying for colleges for at least 7 years.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 07:19
Subject: Re:How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
Anonymous wrote:At your age I’d be very happy with 2. Project out being in your late 50’s and early 60’s and what life will be like. We have three but I had my 3rd at 34 so we became empty nesters in our early 50’s with all educations paid for by 55.
This was important to us - the gift of a college education - so we stopped at 2 with no regrets.
Plus I don't want to tempt fate (DH & I are not cut out to raise a SN kid). We love our life with 2.
Anonymous
01/10/2020 06:45
Subject: How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?
We have 4. It’s perfect for us.