Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of US college students enroll within 50 miles of home.

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/02/03/when-students-enroll-college-geography-matters-more-policy-makers-think

My kid graduated from a Montgomery County high school last spring, graduating class of around 600 I think. There's no way a majority of that class was even admitted to schools within 50 miles of home. Sure, a good number of those kids are going to MC, UMD, UMBC and the various other publics and privates in and around DC, but there's no way that number is over 300. UMD for example is just not going to accept that many kids from one high school.

Regardless of what you think about your hyper-local situation, that is what the data says.



At public four-year colleges, the median distance students live from home is 18 miles. That number is 46 miles for private nonprofit four-year colleges, and only eight miles at public two-year colleges.

There are a lot more kids graduating from the DC area high schools each year than there are students in the freshman class at the University of Maryland. To say that the median distance from home is 18 miles does not translate into the inverse being true - that most of the kids within 18 miles of UMD go there. That sort of dynamic may exist in many states across the US, but it is simply not true in the DC area. Yes, my "hyper-local situation" bears that out. UMD won't even admit that many kids from a single high school in Maryland to make that kind of statistic even possible.

My college kids are hundreds of miles away and I hope their younger siblings follow their example. I want my kids to move as far away from this toxic place as possible, not to mention that the cost of living here would be strangling to a person just starting out. Please kids, don't come back. We won't be here for long anyway. Can't wait to retire away from here!

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely want my grown children to live near me. My own parents were a daily, loved presence in my kids’ lives as they were growing up. That relationship is something we all cherished, and I’d love to be that close to my own grandkids.

I’m an empty nester now, and 2 of my 4 kids live nearby. The other 2 are far away for career (son) & school (daughter). I never limited their prospects & let them know they could apply anywhere, but I also never disguised my wish that they would settle near us.

I do think we’re an exception because DH and I have been in the Mid-Atlantic region our entire lives, and though we’ve traveled extensively, we’re most happy here. FWIW, our kids all love this area too, and I can only hope they’ll stick around when they have kids of their own.

+1. This is exactly how I feel, and can’t think of any of my friends and family with kids who feel differently. I guess I just associate with closed-minded, “provincial” types.

If my kids end up on the other side of the country, so be it. But our preference is for them to settle nearby, and I hope to enjoy a close relationship with any grandkids and be there to help with them. Something I never had, with grandparents far away.

I absolutely want my grown children to live near me. My own parents were a daily, loved presence in my kids’ lives as they were growing up. That relationship is something we all cherished, and I’d love to be that close to my own grandkids.

I’m an empty nester now, and 2 of my 4 kids live nearby. The other 2 are far away for career (son) & school (daughter). I never limited their prospects & let them know they could apply anywhere, but I also never disguised my wish that they would settle near us.

I do think we’re an exception because DH and I have been in the Mid-Atlantic region our entire lives, and though we’ve traveled extensively, we’re most happy here. FWIW, our kids all love this area too, and I can only hope they’ll stick around when they have kids of their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to restrict my kid’s opportunities. Life is an adventure especially when you are young. I hope he returns to this area but if not, that’s fine. There is a whole big world to be experienced. Why get stuck in one tiny corner of it?

To be fair, the OP never said she wanted to restrict the kid's opportunities. She simply said she'd prefer the kid not go too far away and wouldn't openly encourage it. There's nothing wrong with that. I did the same thing.

You do realize you can go to school locally and save money and THEN decide to go away. Right? Two of my kids went to UVA and both ended up living abroad for several years after graduation.

That might not have been a response to OP. The thread meandered to a point where some posters were discussing the importance of living near family (forever, apparently).

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to restrict my kid’s opportunities. Life is an adventure especially when you are young. I hope he returns to this area but if not, that’s fine. There is a whole big world to be experienced. Why get stuck in one tiny corner of it?

To be fair, the OP never said she wanted to restrict the kid's opportunities. She simply said she'd prefer the kid not go too far away and wouldn't openly encourage it. There's nothing wrong with that. I did the same thing.

You do realize you can go to school locally and save money and THEN decide to go away. Right? Two of my kids went to UVA and both ended up living abroad for several years after graduation.

I don’t want to restrict my kid’s opportunities. Life is an adventure especially when you are young. I hope he returns to this area but if not, that’s fine. There is a whole big world to be experienced. Why get stuck in one tiny corner of it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I hope(d) my kid would establish a beachhead in some other country. DC hoped to experience another part of the US (where I lived during my childhood). Ah, well, there’s still grad school....

DC’s an only child and we have no family ties to this area, so there’s a decent chance that if DC ends up somewhere attractive to us, we’d relocate. We all feel that our quality of life improves when we get more time together (DC was actually the one that pointed this out) and it makes more sense for us to follow DC (beginning a career) than DC to follow us (ending careers).

I think it's kind of odd that parents would follow their only child around, but whatever.

it isn't odd to move near grand children after retirement.

^^ sorry, DH had never flown before studying abroad in *college*

It a high education, high income area. So, parents put a lot of emphasis on their kids getting the best education possible, and families put a lot of thought into college selection. It’s a group of people who value a great college for their kid with travel over an okay college within an hour commute.

I also agree that many people aren’t from here originally. I doubt DH and I are still in the DMV 3 years after my youngest graduates from college. We definitely won’t retire here. We are only staying as it is for her to do her last couple of years of high school where she grew up. So, what the point in tying her here geographically?

Another factor may be that many kids in the DMV are pretty worldly. Many have travelled overseas, and have seen other parts of the country and often other parts of the world. It makes places outside driving distance seem much less foreign.

Contrast my DH who had never flown before studying abroad in HS, and who went to college about 5 hours from home— which is the furthest he had ever gone. And our kids, who have been to several countries, and are comfortable flying alone in HS. One kid is headed halfway across the country for college next year. The other is looking at a program in Europe for 6 weeks this summer and wants to go to college in the UK. Completely different mindset.

Most people who live in the DC area aren't from the DC area and may not plan to stay here after they retire. So why not send your kids somewhere else you may want to live, or just see where their path takes them, if you can afford to?

It has never been my goal for my children to remain in this area because it is not my choice. As they grow into adults, choose careers, follow opportunities, etc. I want them to make their own decisions about where they will live. I don't fear my kids going away to college--I think it is an exciting opportunity. One went 500+ miles away, another went 300 miles, one went 75 miles. For us, distance was not part of the deciding factors; they had a budget and had to stick to it.

A good relationship with your kid(s) is the best assurance of their return.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

I want my kids to live where it makes them happy, and where they have the best opportunity. That may or may not be the DMV. I am not putting my desires or needs ahead of theirs.

Translation: I want my kids to go to the college that flows most proudly off my lips at cocktail parties, and if that means they must go far away and never come back, well . . .

Your translation skills suck.

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I hope(d) my kid would establish a beachhead in some other country. DC hoped to experience another part of the US (where I lived during my childhood). Ah, well, there’s still grad school....

DC’s an only child and we have no family ties to this area, so there’s a decent chance that if DC ends up somewhere attractive to us, we’d relocate. We all feel that our quality of life improves when we get more time together (DC was actually the one that pointed this out) and it makes more sense for us to follow DC (beginning a career) than DC to follow us (ending careers).

I think it's kind of odd that parents would follow their only child around, but whatever.

Personally, I hope(d) my kid would establish a beachhead in some other country. DC hoped to experience another part of the US (where I lived during my childhood). Ah, well, there’s still grad school....

DC’s an only child and we have no family ties to this area, so there’s a decent chance that if DC ends up somewhere attractive to us, we’d relocate. We all feel that our quality of life improves when we get more time together (DC was actually the one that pointed this out) and it makes more sense for us to follow DC (beginning a career) than DC to follow us (ending careers).