Op, just want to say how sorry I am. You will be ok but it will take time.

1) yes, sounds like an affair. Read chimp.lady, do the 180.

2) call a few lawyers near you. Ask friends or here for recs. See one soon as you can for first steps about finances and custody agreements , and to drawing up temp separation agreement. Until then make sure you have copies of everything, statements, all documents. Draw up a list of your household's bank accounts, brokerage accounts, retirement plans, insurance policies, loans, credit card statements and mortgages and get the most recent statements for them.

3) open your own account if you haven't for your paycheck. Check with lawyer and all automatic deductions before closing joint account.

4) what is your child care situation?

5) save all correspondence with husband.

6) find your support network.

7) it's up. To you how much you want to dig re affair. Assume he's having one and go from there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please let him know that his 2 year old child will be staying with him every other weekend as well as a couple of nights during the week. If he needs help with childproofing his new place, point him to a website around this.

He doesn’t get to walk away from his responsibilities as a parent.

I’d rather get as much of his money for child support than suggest I want a child spending a lot of time with a man-child (at least until he’s grown up). Because everything this guy is doing screams he married and had a kid too soon.

Fortunately the courts don't let emotional psychos like you make that call. It's still his kid and he should be able to parent regardless of what YOU think about him now.

You can’t see it right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Coming from a guy who went through a divorce. You’ll be okay and probably will be better than you were while married.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Are you both immigrants - Indian perhaps? Your story sounds like an arranged marriage and he hasn't learned to be respectful to women.
He sounds like a man-child who was spoiled by his parents.

I'm sorry.

No, we’re black.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is more to this. Regardless of what is going on, most people know there are issues prior to someone just moving out.

Or some people are just assholes. Most people understand that it’s not normal for a parent to just walk out. But of course you’d prefer to blame the wife. Because you’re an asshole too.

I’m disappointed, 4 pages in and the autism poster hasn’t chimed in yet...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been married for 3 years and we have a two year old. He moved out the day after Christmas. He gave me back the gift I bought him for Christmas and told me that I don’t put any thought into the gifts I get him, he’s no longer in love with me, and he refuses to go into a new year/decade being married to me. I’ve had time to process all of this, but it still hurts like hell. I honestly think there’s another woman because this came out of nowhere. I’m sure I can take care of the mortgage on my own, but I’m worried about other bills as the mortgage is most of one paycheck. Someone tell me everything will be okay!

He moved out so that’s abandonment and you may be able to get primary custody

OP, please, please, please don't take law advice from this poster, as they clearly know nothing about marital law -- they don't even know what state you live in, how on earth can they claim to know anything about case law regarding abandonment?

Call a divorce lawyer OP, as most of the advice being dispensed in this thread is either flat out incorrect or strictly subjective and may have zero bearing on your case.

Good luck.

+1. Sounds like Indians to me.

Are you both immigrants - Indian perhaps? Your story sounds like an arranged marriage and he hasn't learned to be respectful to women.
He sounds like a man-child who was spoiled by his parents.

I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been married for 3 years and we have a two year old. He moved out the day after Christmas. He gave me back the gift I bought him for Christmas and told me that I don’t put any thought into the gifts I get him, he’s no longer in love with me, and he refuses to go into a new year/decade being married to me. I’ve had time to process all of this, but it still hurts like hell. I honestly think there’s another woman because this came out of nowhere. I’m sure I can take care of the mortgage on my own, but I’m worried about other bills as the mortgage is most of one paycheck. Someone tell me everything will be okay!

He moved out so that’s abandonment and you may be able to get primary custody

Very unlikely, at least in DC or Maryland.

It's absolutely abandonment. She could file for an at-fault abandonment and she would probably get primary residency. OP needs to seek legal advice ASAP.

You withdraw all the money in the joint account and have your name taken off joint credit cards. It’s not stealing-it’s a joint account. The divorce agreement will dictate who gets what but it’s just smart to keep him from stealing it or running up the ccs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t she close all their joint accounts and credit cards?

I would. I would open my own today and close the others.

THIS. Do it now, OP. He has been planning this for awhile and who knows what he is doing to your joint finances?

This will go over great in court.

Court does not care before hand.

Once they go to court depending on Judge and state divorce laws are usually 50/50. Easier to navigate if you know where everything is before hand.

This may be a state-by-state issue. In Virginia, once the couple separates their money is their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would add a clause in the custody agreement that so that girlfriends can’t sleep over at his house while he has custody of his kid.

Only if you want the judge to think you are a crazy, controlling woman. My ex behaved this way and it helped me get shared custody.

That would only work up until the divorce is final. That's what I did. Also, she'd be shooting herself in the foot to extend it any further than that. What if a couple years from now she's in another relationship? Those clauses don't typically fly in court beyond the divorce becoming final.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t she close all their joint accounts and credit cards?

I would. I would open my own today and close the others.

THIS. Do it now, OP. He has been planning this for awhile and who knows what he is doing to your joint finances?

This will go over great in court.

Most of the time you can't close a joint account without the other person's permission. Her best bet would be to open another account and have any direct deposits go there. Any money that is in the account right now is considered marital funds. If she were take it all out and put it in another account that wouldn't look good in court.

Lawyer!