I'd be direct and tell her that she is a nasty bitch but if you are more passive aggressive there are so many things you could do with this one.

Tell your mom - "Don't worry. Thankfully, my MIL is a great granny! Next year, we'll have her over and DS just adores her. Instead of breaking his toys she plays with him. She's just wonderful!"

When she asks for a visit in the future or to stay with you ' you say "I'm sorry that won't work. DS is still upset about how you destroyed what he spent days building. We don't want to ruin his holiday by having you here."

Make she over hears you tell other family members what she did.

I agree with other posters that she is mean and this was intentional not an "accident". It takes effort to do this. She is most likely upset or feels slighted about something. You haven't kissed her fanny enough, she feels old and unimportant or she is simply self centered and bored. She "cleaned" and broke something that she could dismiss and now will not take any responsibility. I'd ask her to leave and tell her that mean behavior toward a six year old is not allowed in your house.

So sorry op. This sounds like my mom. Then if I express disappointment she would say I’m ungrateful and that I shouldn’t talk that way to my elders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the scolding would make me more upset than the actual “cleaning” of the Legos. She messed up and her response was to deflect to her grandson.
Not okay.

+1

There is a small chance it was an honest mistake but she chose to react badly. Ask her what she intends to do to fix it.

She got very defensive instead of owning up to the mistake.

Yes, lots of people do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the scolding would make me more upset than the actual “cleaning” of the Legos. She messed up and her response was to deflect to her grandson.
Not okay.

+1

There is a small chance it was an honest mistake but she chose to react badly. Ask her what she intends to do to fix it.

She got very defensive instead of owning up to the mistake.

Even if the Grandma won’t act like a grownup here and apologize and help, is there room here for you to speak with your son about it, tell him that you are really disappointed in Grandma, that she should have asked first and that you wish she would have apologized in person, helped rebuild, and not snapped at him? You can explain that you talked with her about it and told her how you felt and that Grandma was willing to write this note. This way at least he feels that you are sticking up for him and that won’t stand for him being treated poorly. You can say if anything else happens like that again with Grandma or anyone he can come to you.

I can totally see my mother doing something like this and having the exact same response. I figured out years ago that the reason my mom can never acknowledge her mistakes is because her self-esteem is so low that she can't tolerate criticism or disappointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Clearly you've never valued Legos or had a young child who was capable of following Lego directions. We're talking about a six year old. That's young for building entire sets, and he's understandably devastated.

But sure, next time you labor on something for hours only to have it destroyed casually by someone, we'll be sure to tell you to get over it!

I have kids, yes. And the Minecraft sets are not large ones. He can sort and rebuild them. Unless grandma also threw away the instructions.

If Grandma threw out the instructions, you can print instructions from the Lego website. You can look up any set of instructions by the set number and print them. If you don't know the set numbers, google the set on Amazon and you'll be able to find the set and look at the picture on Amazon. Set number is usually in the upper right corner.

Anonymous wrote:Grandma need to help him sort out the legos and rebuild the sets. Your son will always remember this Christmas for her taking apart all of his legos. Now your mom gets to choose whether she wants to leave that as an unhappy memory of her destroying his legos, or whether she wants to reframe it as the Christmas he and grandma spent hours together building legos after grandma accidentally cleaned them up.

This. Building sets is a lot of work, even if you enjoy it. Sorting Legos is a lot of work and nobody enjoys it. The kid has plenty of reason to be pissed. Grandma made this mess. Grandma should help clean it up.

It's not fragile to expect an adult to treat a child's things with respect. It's not fragile to expect an adult to help a child fix the ADULT's mistake.

Anonymous wrote:Grandma need to help him sort out the legos and rebuild the sets. Your son will always remember this Christmas for her taking apart all of his legos. Now your mom gets to choose whether she wants to leave that as an unhappy memory of her destroying his legos, or whether she wants to reframe it as the Christmas he and grandma spent hours together building legos after grandma accidentally cleaned them up.

I was joking about eating grandma, but I really agree with this. Please let us know what happens op

Anonymous wrote:Are you from a family of spiders that eats their parents?

LOL. No. I’m the crab from Moana. I ate my grandma.

Grandma need to help him sort out the legos and rebuild the sets. Your son will always remember this Christmas for her taking apart all of his legos. Now your mom gets to choose whether she wants to leave that as an unhappy memory of her destroying his legos, or whether she wants to reframe it as the Christmas he and grandma spent hours together building legos after grandma accidentally cleaned them up.

Are you from a family of spiders that eats their parents?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Clearly you've never valued Legos or had a young child who was capable of following Lego directions. We're talking about a six year old. That's young for building entire sets, and he's understandably devastated.

But sure, next time you labor on something for hours only to have it destroyed casually by someone, we'll be sure to tell you to get over it!

I have kids, yes. And the Minecraft sets are not large ones. He can sort and rebuild them. Unless grandma also threw away the instructions.

NP. You’re missing the teaching point here. The lesson would go much further if grandma would eat crow and just help her grandson rebuild what SHE broke. Unbelievable. The grandma is wrong. Nice grandpa. Bad grandma.

Grandma is too old to learn new tricks. You're only going to teach your DC the wrong lesson if that's what you focus on.

Not the grandmas in my life. Never to old to learn. When you stop learning you stop growing. Anything that isn’t growing isn’t living, it’s dying. Grandma needs to get busy living, or get busy dying.

Poor kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Clearly you've never valued Legos or had a young child who was capable of following Lego directions. We're talking about a six year old. That's young for building entire sets, and he's understandably devastated.

But sure, next time you labor on something for hours only to have it destroyed casually by someone, we'll be sure to tell you to get over it!

I have kids, yes. And the Minecraft sets are not large ones. He can sort and rebuild them. Unless grandma also threw away the instructions.

NP. You’re missing the teaching point here. The lesson would go much further if grandma would eat crow and just help her grandson rebuild what SHE broke. Unbelievable. The grandma is wrong. Nice grandpa. Bad grandma.

Grandma is too old to learn new tricks. You're only going to teach your DC the wrong lesson if that's what you focus on.

Not the grandmas in my life. Never to old to learn. When you stop learning you stop growing. Anything that isn’t growing isn’t living, it’s dying. Grandma needs to get busy living, or get busy dying.