Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I Hi, OP! I’m a WAHM becoming sort of a SAHM but not really because I’ll still have a nanny two days a week. I plan to make improving my appearance a job. Obviously not full-time, but I plan to go to appointments while my nanny is with my kids. Mainly eyebrows and hair but occasionally nails. This would not be more than once a month. Right now I “sleep in” while my husband deals with the kids (because I stay up til 12-2 to work) so then right before they need to go to school I change my clothes into sweats or leggings, no makeup, and rush them to school. If I ever had to get out of the car I’d be mortified. Obviously something needs to change. Now that I don’t have to stay up late I plan to get up before my kids do and do my makeup (takes 5 minutes) and put on a uniform. The problem for me is I’ve had 3 kids in 5.5 years and my size has fluctuated, and I plan to get pregnant in less than a year, so it’s tough shelling out money for quality clothes. You may not have that issue. My husband dresses really well and is fit and we have a fair amount of money, so I’m a bit embarrassed that people look at me and probably wonder what is up with me. I wish I had an accountability partner but as you can imagine this is embarrassing to share with someone I know in real life (other than my closest friends, who live elsewhere).

Looking put together is maybe not your goal, but if it is, you've identified the cause and the solution. I WAHM, so slightly (but not much) different pressures. My go-to 2 minute (no shower etc) look is well-fitting (not tight) jeans and a nice (not faded or frayed, fitted) t-shirt or sweater. I also have a 2 minute face (tinted moisturizer plus easy bronzer/contour) when I have the time. Basically, I wash my face and put on a tiny amount of make up every day, and I only wear sweats when I'm sick. I wear much nicer clothes when I need to go into the office or travel, but that's far from the majority of my time. Basically, my goal is to never be in a state where I'd be mortified to hop in the car in an emergency...which is actually not that hard to do.

You don't need to spend a ton of money. Just buy pants with buttons/zippers and shirts that are not cut like rectangles. The one place where I recommend spending some money if cheaper alternatives won't work is on skincare...especially a tinted moisturizer.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't have times to put on clean clothes on...one pp above, why are you planning another kid? It sounds that you are not financially that great, as you said you don't want to spend money on clothes since you are planning another child. I just don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:I Hi, OP! I’m a WAHM becoming sort of a SAHM but not really because I’ll still have a nanny two days a week. I plan to make improving my appearance a job. Obviously not full-time, but I plan to go to appointments while my nanny is with my kids. Mainly eyebrows and hair but occasionally nails. This would not be more than once a month. Right now I “sleep in” while my husband deals with the kids (because I stay up til 12-2 to work) so then right before they need to go to school I change my clothes into sweats or leggings, no makeup, and rush them to school. If I ever had to get out of the car I’d be mortified. Obviously something needs to change. Now that I don’t have to stay up late I plan to get up before my kids do and do my makeup (takes 5 minutes) and put on a uniform. The problem for me is I’ve had 3 kids in 5.5 years and my size has fluctuated, and I plan to get pregnant in less than a year, so it’s tough shelling out money for quality clothes. You may not have that issue. My husband dresses really well and is fit and we have a fair amount of money, so I’m a bit embarrassed that people look at me and probably wonder what is up with me. I wish I had an accountability partner but as you can imagine this is embarrassing to share with someone I know in real life (other than my closest friends, who live elsewhere).

Anonymous wrote:If you don't have times to put on clean clothes on...one pp above, why are you planning another kid? It sounds that you are not financially that great, as you said you don't want to spend money on clothes since you are planning another child. I just don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:I Hi, OP! I’m a WAHM becoming sort of a SAHM but not really because I’ll still have a nanny two days a week. I plan to make improving my appearance a job. Obviously not full-time, but I plan to go to appointments while my nanny is with my kids. Mainly eyebrows and hair but occasionally nails. This would not be more than once a month. Right now I “sleep in” while my husband deals with the kids (because I stay up til 12-2 to work) so then right before they need to go to school I change my clothes into sweats or leggings, no makeup, and rush them to school. If I ever had to get out of the car I’d be mortified. Obviously something needs to change. Now that I don’t have to stay up late I plan to get up before my kids do and do my makeup (takes 5 minutes) and put on a uniform. The problem for me is I’ve had 3 kids in 5.5 years and my size has fluctuated, and I plan to get pregnant in less than a year, so it’s tough shelling out money for quality clothes. You may not have that issue. My husband dresses really well and is fit and we have a fair amount of money, so I’m a bit embarrassed that people look at me and probably wonder what is up with me. I wish I had an accountability partner but as you can imagine this is embarrassing to share with someone I know in real life (other than my closest friends, who live elsewhere).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and I will put aside a couple hours each week to give myself some at home spa treatments. For my hair I usually do coloring, highlighting, hot oil treatments, oil massage and deep conditioning masks or an exfoliating mask. I get my hair cut every 3-4 weeks. The rest of the time I will do some of these treatments at home - waxing, bleaching, facials, Korean masks, acid peels, threading, microdermabrasion, pedicures, manicures etc.
I dress up when I go out so that I am never embarrassed if I bump into someone. All of this does not take more than a couple hours a week if you do it at home. And an added benefit is that you will have such good skin that you do not even have to wear any makeup. Mascara, eye liner and a tinted lipstick will see you through the whole day.

Oooh, please share how you do acid peels, microdermabrasion and threading are home.

I know you’re being sarcastic but The Ordinary has a great at-home acid peel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and I will put aside a couple hours each week to give myself some at home spa treatments. For my hair I usually do coloring, highlighting, hot oil treatments, oil massage and deep conditioning masks or an exfoliating mask. I get my hair cut every 3-4 weeks. The rest of the time I will do some of these treatments at home - waxing, bleaching, facials, Korean masks, acid peels, threading, microdermabrasion, pedicures, manicures etc.
I dress up when I go out so that I am never embarrassed if I bump into someone. All of this does not take more than a couple hours a week if you do it at home. And an added benefit is that you will have such good skin that you do not even have to wear any makeup. Mascara, eye liner and a tinted lipstick will see you through the whole day.

Oooh, please share how you do acid peels, microdermabrasion and threading are home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This may not apply to you, but the SAHM parents (men and women) who can't seem to get it together are usually dealing with depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something of that nature. I speak from personal experience and observation of others.

It is interesting that I have found many WOHMs who have undiagnosed mental issues. They need to go to work because they cannot manage a day where they have to set a schedule. They cannot handle spending time with their kids and totally fall apart during vacations etc. Most cannot handle a sick child either, even with remote work option.
Their worst times are during holidays and they cannot even manage hosting or organizing anything without turning suicidal. However, workplace actually works the same way for them in providing structure as an mental institution would. If only they were somewhat efficient at workplace, the GDP would improve.

Is English your first language? You are a terrible writer.

DP. I am not a native English speaker and I don't think you realize how offensive your post is. It is a cheap and discriminatory shot at a pp that made an effort to reply. I hope you can accept that perfect English is not a prerequisite to post on dcum and that you should not insult and put down immigrants. Not being a native English speaker is not a crime. At least it didn't use to be.

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and I will put aside a couple hours each week to give myself some at home spa treatments. For my hair I usually do coloring, highlighting, hot oil treatments, oil massage and deep conditioning masks or an exfoliating mask. I get my hair cut every 3-4 weeks. The rest of the time I will do some of these treatments at home - waxing, bleaching, facials, Korean masks, acid peels, threading, microdermabrasion, pedicures, manicures etc.
I dress up when I go out so that I am never embarrassed if I bump into someone. All of this does not take more than a couple hours a week if you do it at home. And an added benefit is that you will have such good skin that you do not even have to wear any makeup. Mascara, eye liner and a tinted lipstick will see you through the whole day.