Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:28     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
OP, are you coming back?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:26     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
It can be stressful to have even close family staying with you for over a week. I can never seem to fully relax when they're here. After awhile, the stress becomes too much and I need alone time.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:18     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You've stayed too long. Get out of the house for large chunks of time. Is this so hard to understand?


+1

Get out of the house during the day and offer to watch the kids so they can go out for a dinner date.

Give them space. And don’t stay so long next time.


+2. We don’t know what’s going on with her. Maybe you have overstayed your welcome. Maybe something else has happened, and she or a family member had a health scare or she found out your son did something awful or she royally screwed up at work or any number of things that she doesn’t care to share with her in-laws.

The point is, whatever it is, giving her some space without calling her aloof or distant is the right answer.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:10     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
rent a car and do some fun thing with your dh.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:08     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Did you drive? I would leave early. They need space.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:06     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
You may also be causing marital strain. It may have been communicated that the length of your stay was not what she wanted. Maybe your son was supposed to talk to you about that, or maybe he is expected to be the main host after the big holiday event is over.

Aim for less. Shorten your trips by a few day,s and lower your expectations of being treated as a guest for extended stays.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:05     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she is an introvert who just needs some time to herself.


Could be this. I am an introvert. I genuinely like and love my mother in law. She has been here these past 4 days in a row while I am hosting other people as well and I am just done. I went and read upstairs for an hour while she and my guests chatted. I consider that necessary self-care. I'm not mad at her, I just need a break.


I'm an extrovert and an entire week with the inlaws in my house would still be hell on earth.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:01     Subject: Re:I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Anonymous wrote:OP, have you heard the expression “fish and visitors stink after three days”? Your DIL is tired. She wants her space back. She is ready for things to be normal again. We never stay more than three days with our adult kids and their families. And we usually stay in a hotel so that they have a break in the evenings. It’s hard to be “on” for an entire week. Maybe go out and do something on your own for a few hours. Give her a chance to recharge a little. And next year, make your visit much shorter.


This.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:01     Subject: Re:I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Wow, I think that many days with the in-laws would literally kill me. Especially in my own house. Absolutely horrible. Why are you staying so long?? Who decided the length of visit? That's WAY overstaying your welcome.

For the love of God, do not complain or be annoyed that she actually wants a bit of alone time after dinner.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 15:01     Subject: Re:I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
OP, have you heard the expression “fish and visitors stink after three days”? Your DIL is tired. She wants her space back. She is ready for things to be normal again. We never stay more than three days with our adult kids and their families. And we usually stay in a hotel so that they have a break in the evenings. It’s hard to be “on” for an entire week. Maybe go out and do something on your own for a few hours. Give her a chance to recharge a little. And next year, make your visit much shorter.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 14:56     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
She needs space. Let her have space.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 14:56     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Anonymous wrote:I'm an extrovert, I love hosting, love the holidays, and I would be exhausted even of those I love most after having them stay for 8 days. That's just so long.


Yes. We love you but - Too long!!
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 14:55     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
I'd book a hotel room for myself at a nearby attraction and sight see, have dinner, go to a show, maybe have drinks and just enjoy a day and night away.

When you get back offer to sit for the grandchildren while your son takes DIL out for a date night.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 14:55     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
I'm an extrovert, I love hosting, love the holidays, and I would be exhausted even of those I love most after having them stay for 8 days. That's just so long.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2019 14:51     Subject: I can tell DIL is over our visit, and I don't know what to do
Go out. Take the kids to the playground or a movie. Feed them lunch somewhere. Have a date night out, just the two of you. Offer to babysit so THEY can have a couple of date nights. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.