Anonymous wrote:It seems like OP has a legitimate concern even if it's unlikely they have anything. Why all the hullabaloo about anxiety? Seriously....when is it okay to just have a concern?

Of course HIV is a legitimate concern...but it is clearly anxiety. She and the sexual partner in question don't seem to meet the significant risk factors, and it's been five years...I think she'd know if she had HIV and it wasn't treated for five years. That's all. Anxiety like this can ruin your life, I know because I have anxiety, and I think others just don't want to see her freaked out for what is very likely nothing.

It seems like OP has a legitimate concern even if it's unlikely they have anything. Why all the hullabaloo about anxiety? Seriously....when is it okay to just have a concern?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The odds are much, much, much higher that you have herpes and don’t know it than that you have HIV.

But this is also true of your boyfriend!

I guess it's just scary because I had no idea you could go years and years without knowing you had HIV!

This is more a question for the HIV health worker. But I would think after a few years of untreated HIV you'd be getting more than a few colds a year, you'd be worn down, you'd start getting thrush, so on.

Anonymous wrote:The odds are much, much, much higher that you have herpes and don’t know it than that you have HIV.

But this is also true of your boyfriend!

I guess it's just scary because I had no idea you could go years and years without knowing you had HIV!

The odds are much, much, much higher that you have herpes and don’t know it than that you have HIV.

But this is also true of your boyfriend!

Oh lord. If every woman got HIV from sleeping with some douchebag who didn't use a condom and never called her again, surely the HIV rate among straight women would be significantly higher, wouldn't it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have been treated with penicillin for anything over these years, you've effectively already been treated for syphilis.

It's funny; chlamydia and gonnorhea are also both curable early (sometimes with the same antibiotics!). Because they compromise fertility they are regularly tested for. Syphilis won't make you infertile, but it will almost eat your brain and nobody GAF unless you are in a high-risk population.

Aside from the sexual encounter that sparked this anxiety attack, I was fastidious about using condoms in my single days. I gave a lot of oral without them, but aside from this instance I never ever had intercourse with a guy I wasn't seriously dating without them. In many cases, I used them WITH guys I was in a monogamous relationship with, because I was worried about my bc failing.

But, we're all young and dumb once, and I wanted this guy to like me, so I had sex with him without a condom, and then I found out he had a girlfriend and he never spoke to me again. We still have mutual friends and he's getting married - I am friends with his former roommate, for god's sake. I assume I would find out if this guy had HIV. I'm just very scared. I have to tell you, I worked on my self-esteem and I now have the most perfect boyfriend and I'm horrified I've given him something or I HAVE something and he'll leave me.

Thank you again to everyone who has been talking me down. I know I have anxiety. It is bad, and I am thinking of switching over from regular talk therapy to CBT as others suggested a few pages ago. I have always been a germophobe (I actually texted my boyfriend today and said "I'm getting a cold and worried I have something worse" and he said "No, what you have is hypochondria.") but this panic attack was bad. And I am still having it, just biding my time until about 26 hours from now when I can run down the street to my pharmacy and grab an at-home test.

That's an American woman's right of passage. You probably didn't get HIV from it.

Anonymous wrote:If you have been treated with penicillin for anything over these years, you've effectively already been treated for syphilis.

It's funny; chlamydia and gonnorhea are also both curable early (sometimes with the same antibiotics!). Because they compromise fertility they are regularly tested for. Syphilis won't make you infertile, but it will almost eat your brain and nobody GAF unless you are in a high-risk population.

Aside from the sexual encounter that sparked this anxiety attack, I was fastidious about using condoms in my single days. I gave a lot of oral without them, but aside from this instance I never ever had intercourse with a guy I wasn't seriously dating without them. In many cases, I used them WITH guys I was in a monogamous relationship with, because I was worried about my bc failing.

But, we're all young and dumb once, and I wanted this guy to like me, so I had sex with him without a condom, and then I found out he had a girlfriend and he never spoke to me again. We still have mutual friends and he's getting married - I am friends with his former roommate, for god's sake. I assume I would find out if this guy had HIV. I'm just very scared. I have to tell you, I worked on my self-esteem and I now have the most perfect boyfriend and I'm horrified I've given him something or I HAVE something and he'll leave me.

Thank you again to everyone who has been talking me down. I know I have anxiety. It is bad, and I am thinking of switching over from regular talk therapy to CBT as others suggested a few pages ago. I have always been a germophobe (I actually texted my boyfriend today and said "I'm getting a cold and worried I have something worse" and he said "No, what you have is hypochondria.") but this panic attack was bad. And I am still having it, just biding my time until about 26 hours from now when I can run down the street to my pharmacy and grab an at-home test.

If you have been treated with penicillin for anything over these years, you've effectively already been treated for syphilis.

It's funny; chlamydia and gonnorhea are also both curable early (sometimes with the same antibiotics!). Because they compromise fertility they are regularly tested for. Syphilis won't make you infertile, but it will almost eat your brain and nobody GAF unless you are in a high-risk population.

Anonymous wrote:Get tested. My brother died from AIDS - it’s still painful to those he left behind. But there are plenty of treatments now so no point in delaying a test.

I'm so sorry about your brother. I am going to go buy a rapid home test tomorrow.

And to the PP, I just pulled up my medical record portal and I was tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea when I started dating my boyfriend a few years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it is so weird - my sister gave me Jonathan Van Ness' book for Christmas, so now I'm worried because I'm reading about it. Of course he had the flu for like three weeks before he was tested.

THIS is why you’re suddenly obsessing about HIV, OP. I also have crippling anxiety / OCD and this is how it works for me. Something gets “stuck” and I cannot get it off of my mind. Please seek treatment for your anxiety. You’ll feel so much better.

Actually! It started last night before I opened gifts this morning and then I was like "Oh great." I don't know what kickstarted this, to be honest. Yes, something got stuck in my brain and I can't manage to lift the record needle if you know what I mean. Realistically, I'm sure I'm fine. I had sex with a sketchy asshole, unprotected, but I have never had health problems since, other than one yeast infection and one bad pap smear. Both went away on their own, though the yeast infection was over treated, turned into BV, and took a little time. He didn't finish in me. He was a straight guy who didn't inject drugs. And yet, I can't help but worry about it.

Anonymous wrote:Also, it is so weird - my sister gave me Jonathan Van Ness' book for Christmas, so now I'm worried because I'm reading about it. Of course he had the flu for like three weeks before he was tested.

THIS is why you’re suddenly obsessing about HIV, OP. I also have crippling anxiety / OCD and this is how it works for me. Something gets “stuck” and I cannot get it off of my mind. Please seek treatment for your anxiety. You’ll feel so much better.

Get tested. My brother died from AIDS - it’s still painful to those he left behind. But there are plenty of treatments now so no point in delaying a test.

Anonymous wrote:You need to go get tested for everything! HIV is bad but you also need syphilis, clamydia, etc. I am really disturbed you don't get tested between partners.

I have been tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea. I don't think I've ever been offered a syphilis test and I kknow no one has ever asked if I wanted an HIV test.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a public health professional and worked in HIV/AIDS for years. The likelihood that you contracted HIV via heterosexual sex (with a man who was presumably not bi or an IV drug user) in this country is very, very low. You should get tested to put your mind at ease - but you really, really do not have anything to worry about with regard to HIV. As others have said, however, you should seek support for your anxiety.

Thank you, this was very kind and helped put my mind at ease. May I ask though, if HIV is asymptomatic how does anyone ever know to get tested for it? I mentioned my anxiety to my mother who was like "Well, I'm almost positive if you had HIV for five years, blood work would be coming back off, you'd be developing a lot more illnesses and infections, etc." but everything I have read says you can be asymptomatic for ten years. I do get colds more frequently in the last 3-4 years. But I haven't had a yeast infection since right after I slept with this guy, I had HPV and it cleared up in a year, etc. And surely lots of people have unprotected sex and apparently only 1,050 white hetero women were diagnosed with HIV in 2016?

I will go get an at-home test when I get back to DC tomorrow. Thank you all very much. I know I am being neurotic, but I didn't want to get into the details too much with my mom and I didn't want to bother friends/my boyfriend on Christmas.