Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

Eh. There is also a gender difference too. My 8 you doesn't want to sit next to another 8 yo boy. Let alone a 5 yo boy with special needs. My daughter would know to whisper this to me instead of announcing at the table, but the feelings would be the same. People are always hypersensitive with their first born.

My SN DS has very sweet older cousins (of both genders) who are very nice to him, so no, it's not universal behavior. In turn, my DS has a younger cousin he would pick on meanly if he could, and I am 100% on top of that. I also wouldn't tolerate him refusing to sit next to his cousin.

So you make him sit by the cousin he picks on and are correcting him constantly? That sounds miserable for all parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

We have neighbors like OP. I have an older boy, they have a younger girl. They have had the kids play and mine is polite and does sometimes but really has no interest. Its very uncomfortable for my son to have to be forced to play.

WOW - reading comprehension. I don't care if the girl doesn't play with him. Read again. I have NO EXPECTATION THAT ANY OLDER CHILD PLAYS WITH MY CHILD. I put it in CAPS so you understand. I do expect that when my child is happily playing with something, or meeting the dog, or watching TV, that a bratty 8 year old does not snatch items from him, boss him around, tell him he cannot do things, and generally get in his face, and then announce at dinner, when he is already sitting down, that she doesn't want to sit next to baby Larlo. Fine, go sit elsewhere. But have some manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

Eh. There is also a gender difference too. My 8 you doesn't want to sit next to another 8 yo boy. Let alone a 5 yo boy with special needs. My daughter would know to whisper this to me instead of announcing at the table, but the feelings would be the same. People are always hypersensitive with their first born.

My SN DS has very sweet older cousins (of both genders) who are very nice to him, so no, it's not universal behavior. In turn, my DS has a younger cousin he would pick on meanly if he could, and I am 100% on top of that. I also wouldn't tolerate him refusing to sit next to his cousin.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

Eh. There is also a gender difference too. My 8 you doesn't want to sit next to another 8 yo boy. Let alone a 5 yo boy with special needs. My daughter would know to whisper this to me instead of announcing at the table, but the feelings would be the same. People are always hypersensitive with their first born.

And you would accommodate this request? Because I.would.not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you expect a 3rd grader and your preschooler (with some disabilities) to be buddies and play harmoniously together for several hours while parents are off socializing?

Of course I do. Have you never been to someone else’s home where the multi age kids go off to another room and watch a movie? Or go to someone’s playroom to check out the toys? in this most recent case they were watching a movie and I 1000 percent expect older children to not antagonize him.

NP- for HOURS? Wow. Your expectations are crazy.

Yes, she expects to not have to attend her 4 year old for HOURS. She expects a group of older kids to babysit hers for hours. She is delusional.

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

We have neighbors like OP. I have an older boy, they have a younger girl. They have had the kids play and mine is polite and does sometimes but really has no interest. Its very uncomfortable for my son to have to be forced to play.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

Eh. There is also a gender difference too. My 8 you doesn't want to sit next to another 8 yo boy. Let alone a 5 yo boy with special needs. My daughter would know to whisper this to me instead of announcing at the table, but the feelings would be the same. People are always hypersensitive with their first born.

You must stop - immediately stop - all get-together with this 8 yr old and your child. Your job as a parent is to protect your kid. Simply tell your friend that the kids ages aren’t meshing at this time and maybe revisit when they’re all older.

See your friend on couples night or just alone.

PS the 8 yr old sounds like a miserable little brat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

Rude? Yes.

Mean, awful, targeting the boy, creepy? No. Of course not.

Anonymous wrote:8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

I can't believe these responses.

An 8 year old should be told it's rude to announce in front of another human that you don't want to sit next to them. This is basic shit people. Yes, it's fine if she has the feelings. Yes, it's fine to not make her sit next to the 5 year old. No, it's not ok to announce it at the table in front of the kid. An 8 year old should know better, but if she doesn't, correct the behavior.

8yrs is way too young to expect her to play with a 5yr old. The age gap is way too close but yet way too big. If that makes sense. I have an 8yr old and she literally has no interest in anyone much younger than her unless it is a baby. 8yrs old will easily say they don’t want to sit next to someone. That’s typical for their age. It isn’t even remotely mean.

Anonymous wrote:An 8 year old has no interest in a 5 year old.

This. It’s only a few years but developmentally they’re light years apart. What were you expecting?

OP, you seem to be describing a bossy 8yo girl. I don't think that's super unusual. Is she an only child? She just may not know how to interact well with younger kids.

But sometimes there are frictions and I don't think it makes anyone a bad person. I often bring my 11yo son to hang out with a friend who has a 7yo son. For a long time it was great. Lately not so much; the younger boy has very different interests and isn't used to compromising because he doesn't have siblings. And mine is in that lovely pre-tween stage where he is generally more obnoxious. No one is at fault, just kids who are not at the right stages of life to hang out for long cooperatively.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An 8 year old has no interest in a 5 year old.

+1

Just about to write this. The age differences start to be really obvious at this juncture.

,

Not OP but that doesn’t excuse the mean behavior. I don’t expect my friends older kids to play with my kids but they definitely should not be mean to them.

I also have a similar experience with a friends DS 13 being mean to my DS 6. He’ll purposely break DS LEGO creation or make fun of DC’s creations just things to make him cry. I now limit contact between the kids. If they come to our house I keep a close eye on him.

I'm going to take the advice offered and limit the interaction or chose events where I can monitor the interaction. This is exactly the issue - she's older but she purposely bugs him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An 8 year old has no interest in a 5 year old.

+1

Just about to write this. The age differences start to be really obvious at this juncture.

,

Not OP but that doesn’t excuse the mean behavior. I don’t expect my friends older kids to play with my kids but they definitely should not be mean to them.

I also have a similar experience with a friends DS 13 being mean to my DS 6. He’ll purposely break DS LEGO creation or make fun of DC’s creations just things to make him cry. I now limit contact between the kids. If they come to our house I keep a close eye on him.