Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the children were playing at your house or the park under your watch, it is fine to settle a dispute between them. You are not in a position of authority at after care and should not intervene unless a child is in immediate danger.

OP here - I understand what you are saying, but it was not like yet. All I said was (and my own kids were with the other two kids) " hey kids, Johnny loves playing with you guys and he was so upset last night. He told me that the rest of you (including my other kid) did not want to let him play xyz game with the rest of you because he is not as fast as you. But he is practicing and will catch up to your speed if you give him a chance to be part of the group"....this kind of stuff. I spoke to them nicely, and was just trying have all four kids come to a common understanding, just with good intentions.

Anonymous wrote:Hello Parents,

This is an honest question, since I am not from here and might not be aware of what the acceptable norms might be in an Elementary School Aftercare setting.
My kids go to aftercare every day and usually play with the same group of 2-6 kids, but are especially close to 2 kids, who are siblings. So, I see those 2 kids every single school day, since I and the other parent pick up at the same time. The other parent and I are not friendly. I always say a quick hello to those kids, but I engaged in a little conversation with them the other day, since there was a conflict situation between them and one of my kids. This also happened another time some time ago. They are not big issues, you know, stuff like one kid excluded the other kid from playing etc, and I would just have a friendly little chat with them about what happened. But both my kids and the aftercare instructors are present and the conversation is not confrontational. When the other parent arrives and sees that I am talking to her kids, she seems to get upset about it. So, my question is: am I not supposed to talk to her kids? Is this not acceptable in this culture? It is strange for me since the the kids are very friendly, so I do not understand why the mother would have to be so jumpy about it when she sees it. I am going to talk to the aftercare director and ask him this too, but I was curious to get some feedback. Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not clueless. I would be happy if someone talks to my child in a constructive way. My kids were there too, and I was talking to them as a group. Not sure why this is such a big issue. I find it strange. I think it is just a cultural thing. People communicate differently here.

People don’t want you correcting their child, even in a friendly way. It’s not your place.

I don't care what you think about me correcting a child. I'm an adult and you're not the boss of me.

I correct other people's kids. If you don't like it, too bad. It doesn't sound as if OP was even correcting the children involved, anyway -- just talking to them.

So you’re a bully? I’d instruct aftercare to keep you the hell away from my kid. You don’t work there.

Anonymous wrote:I was in downtown Bethesda the other evening and a bunch of out of control tweens were climbing on the chain that opens and shuts a garage door leading to the dumpsters of a business. Everyone was just walking by. I shouted from across the street, "Hey, cut that out. Bad idea. You could get killed." They were shocked. But then -- they stopped.

Seriously, all the people on this thread who think they have a right to tell other parents not to interact with their property -- er, children -- need to realize that those kids are also existing in the real world that they share with others. You cannot control whether or not other people talk directly to your children in the world, and you're not doing them any favors by raising them to believe they're in a portable bubble. It will end, and your kids won't know how to behave and others will ignore them, and they will be killed by a commercial garage door closing on them or choking them to death. But hey, no one spoke to your precious kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello Parents,

This is an honest question, since I am not from here and might not be aware of what the acceptable norms might be in an Elementary School Aftercare setting.
My kids go to aftercare every day and usually play with the same group of 2-6 kids, but are especially close to 2 kids, who are siblings. So, I see those 2 kids every single school day, since I and the other parent pick up at the same time. The other parent and I are not friendly. I always say a quick hello to those kids, but I engaged in a little conversation with them the other day, since there was a conflict situation between them and one of my kids. This also happened another time some time ago. They are not big issues, you know, stuff like one kid excluded the other kid from playing etc, and I would just have a friendly little chat with them about what happened. But both my kids and the aftercare instructors are present and the conversation is not confrontational. When the other parent arrives and sees that I am talking to her kids, she seems to get upset about it. So, my question is: am I not supposed to talk to her kids? Is this not acceptable in this culture? It is strange for me since the the kids are very friendly, so I do not understand why the mother would have to be so jumpy about it when she sees it. I am going to talk to the aftercare director and ask him this too, but I was curious to get some feedback. Thank you!

Nope- you're only allowed to talk with other children about their behavior if they are in your care, or it's dangerous or egregious and their parents or caregivers are not immediately present. I would be pretty upset if my child had a normal altercation with another child at school and another parent became involved.

Anonymous wrote:Hello Parents,

This is an honest question, since I am not from here and might not be aware of what the acceptable norms might be in an Elementary School Aftercare setting.
My kids go to aftercare every day and usually play with the same group of 2-6 kids, but are especially close to 2 kids, who are siblings. So, I see those 2 kids every single school day, since I and the other parent pick up at the same time. The other parent and I are not friendly. I always say a quick hello to those kids, but I engaged in a little conversation with them the other day, since there was a conflict situation between them and one of my kids. This also happened another time some time ago. They are not big issues, you know, stuff like one kid excluded the other kid from playing etc, and I would just have a friendly little chat with them about what happened. But both my kids and the aftercare instructors are present and the conversation is not confrontational. When the other parent arrives and sees that I am talking to her kids, she seems to get upset about it. So, my question is: am I not supposed to talk to her kids? Is this not acceptable in this culture? It is strange for me since the the kids are very friendly, so I do not understand why the mother would have to be so jumpy about it when she sees it. I am going to talk to the aftercare director and ask him this too, but I was curious to get some feedback. Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the feedback everyone. Wow, so sad that this is the way many of you think social interaction should be. At least, sad for me. This is not how I grew up and this is not what I experience back in my old country. Adults are more involved with kids there. I had no idea that talking to my kids' friends is such a crime. So sad.

How long have you been here? I know plenty of immigrants, but have never seen any engage in the behavior you're defending. Instead of a "friendly chat" it likely comes off as lecturing.

I'm not an immigrant. I was born in the Nation's capitol, and I don't hesitate to talk to other people's children. How absurd to claim others don't have a right to interact with your children. Home school them if that's how you feel, and don't take them out in public either.

You mention "old country" which is why I assumed you're an immigrant, but okay, whatever.

I'm not sure what your limitations are, but you're completing misinterpreting what other PPs and I are telling you. Lecturing other kids about their behavior can be viewed as pushy, helicoptering behavior, especially when you don't know the whole story re: what has transpired between children. If you can't understand that this is how others are viewing your behavior, I don't know what else to tell you.

You can either continue your current MO and continue to get negative reactions from other parents, or you can consider what people are saying here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in downtown Bethesda the other evening and a bunch of out of control tweens were climbing on the chain that opens and shuts a garage door leading to the dumpsters of a business. Everyone was just walking by. I shouted from across the street, "Hey, cut that out. Bad idea. You could get killed." They were shocked. But then -- they stopped.

Seriously, all the people on this thread who think they have a right to tell other parents not to interact with their property -- er, children -- need to realize that those kids are also existing in the real world that they share with others. You cannot control whether or not other people talk directly to your children in the world, and you're not doing them any favors by raising them to believe they're in a portable bubble. It will end, and your kids won't know how to behave and others will ignore them, and they will be killed by a commercial garage door closing on them or choking them to death. But hey, no one spoke to your precious kids.

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the feedback everyone. Wow, so sad that this is the way many of you think social interaction should be. At least, sad for me. This is not how I grew up and this is not what I experience back in my old country. Adults are more involved with kids there. I had no idea that talking to my kids' friends is such a crime. So sad.

How long have you been here? I know plenty of immigrants, but have never seen any engage in the behavior you're defending. Instead of a "friendly chat" it likely comes off as lecturing.

I'm not an immigrant. I was born in the Nation's capitol, and I don't hesitate to talk to other people's children. How absurd to claim others don't have a right to interact with your children. Home school them if that's how you feel, and don't take them out in public either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the feedback everyone. Wow, so sad that this is the way many of you think social interaction should be. At least, sad for me. This is not how I grew up and this is not what I experience back in my old country. Adults are more involved with kids there. I had no idea that talking to my kids' friends is such a crime. So sad.

How long have you been here? I know plenty of immigrants, but have never seen any engage in the behavior you're defending. Instead of a "friendly chat" it likely comes off as lecturing.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the feedback everyone. Wow, so sad that this is the way many of you think social interaction should be. At least, sad for me. This is not how I grew up and this is not what I experience back in my old country. Adults are more involved with kids there. I had no idea that talking to my kids' friends is such a crime. So sad.

Anonymous wrote:I was in downtown Bethesda the other evening and a bunch of out of control tweens were climbing on the chain that opens and shuts a garage door leading to the dumpsters of a business. Everyone was just walking by. I shouted from across the street, "Hey, cut that out. Bad idea. You could get killed." They were shocked. But then -- they stopped.

Seriously, all the people on this thread who think they have a right to tell other parents not to interact with their property -- er, children -- need to realize that those kids are also existing in the real world that they share with others. You cannot control whether or not other people talk directly to your children in the world, and you're not doing them any favors by raising them to believe they're in a portable bubble. It will end, and your kids won't know how to behave and others will ignore them, and they will be killed by a commercial garage door closing on them or choking them to death. But hey, no one spoke to your precious kids.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok thanks. It was a group thing, meaning my other kid and those other kids excluded my other kid. And the aftercare teachers reported it to me. So, of course I talked to my own kid about it that night. Since the four kids are friendly, I thought i would also chat about it with the other two kids. I don't think I am annoying; I guess I did not understand that when I pick up my kids and sometimes have to wait 15 or minutes while they are still playing and getting ready, I am not allowed to talk in a friendly way to the other kids. Guess it must be a cultural thing. I would not be offended, in fact, I would be happy if someone did the same to my kids. As I said, it was done in a friendly way. Anyway, will talk to the director tomorrow and now I know.