Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the problem. I have five kids. They are all 18 and older. You are the parent. Tell him he has ten minutes to shower in the morning. If he stays in longer, you punish. Take his car, phone, computer.....whatever works...for the rest of the day. Your house, your rules.

Yeah, who cares, life sucks, we don't all get leisurely jerk-off shower time to disrupt every other family member's morning routine. I grew up in a house with one shower and also limited hot water. You get in and you get out within about 15 min, particularly in the morning. If you want a bath or longer shower? Do that at night. You need "alone time" take it to your room. Set a timer and shut it down.

Agree. Start with a timer and if he can’t comply with the timer, take away privileges. There is absolutely no need for a shower longer than 15 minutes. Even that’s excessive to me, but I recognize I also shower very quickly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the problem. I have five kids. They are all 18 and older. You are the parent. Tell him he has ten minutes to shower in the morning. If he stays in longer, you punish. Take his car, phone, computer.....whatever works...for the rest of the day. Your house, your rules.

A parent with common sense! This is a rare find on DCUM.

OP here.

I agree with this, in theory.

And we, as a collective, have been watered down in our ability to parent. We are counseled to sit them down, have a conversation, discuss consequences, give them a voice, etc., etc. etc.

So...

Discuss/negotiate/enforce boundaries? Or just punish?

First of all, what’s this “we”? You are having to this issue, not all of us.
Second of all, the discussions aren’t working. Why do you want more discussions. He has 10 minutes or you take his phone or whatever. He causes other family members discomfort and frustration, you cause it for him. He can play with himself in his room.

Set the alarm clock in the bathroom for thee minutes before you expect him to get out
and then he will know that after it rings he will need to wrap it up.

Some kids have functioning issues and they don't control the process and they do
not realize the passage of time.

Anonymous wrote:They make water heaters that have unlimited hot water, I'd go for that.

So... what's the price tag on everyone being late to work and school plus installing one of these? Because that seems ridiculous to me to still mess up the rest of the family's morning so a teen can spank it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see the problem. I have five kids. They are all 18 and older. You are the parent. Tell him he has ten minutes to shower in the morning. If he stays in longer, you punish. Take his car, phone, computer.....whatever works...for the rest of the day. Your house, your rules.

Yeah, who cares, life sucks, we don't all get leisurely jerk-off shower time to disrupt every other family member's morning routine. I grew up in a house with one shower and also limited hot water. You get in and you get out within about 15 min, particularly in the morning. If you want a bath or longer shower? Do that at night. You need "alone time" take it to your room. Set a timer and shut it down.

If you want to be passive aggressive about it, quietly turn off the hot water after 10 minutes.

You set a timer for yourself when you hear the water starts. Personally, I hate going down in the basement so this would be more of a punishment for me but it seems most of you have a debilitating fear of a straightforward conversation with your child... so, timer and turning off hot water it is.

Just tell him to either shower at night or set a timer. This should not be hard. My DS likes long showers too, so he does them at night. Morning showers are quick showers.

Female here. Since I was 9 I've been "using" the tub faucet to achieve my own objectives and I've never needed 45 minutes!!! Even for multiple objectives lol. Every woman here reading this knows what I'm talking about!

Regardless of the reason (we all know what it is), and regardless of the specific solution you choose, I'd really emphasize that your main issue is the lack of consideration for others. It's not exactly surprising that a teenager wouldn't care about their parents being forced to take a cold shower because of them, but it's absolutely not okay and you should not let that attitude slide. You can see some kids around that age developing a sense of entitlement that they'll carry through adulthood and it's truly unpleasant to witness - so if I were you I'd do everything I could to stop it while it's still time!

Just get a tankless water heater and be done with it. Unlimited hot water and everybody wins. Best thing we ever did even without a teenage boy in our house. And yes I remember those days from my younger brother. My mom and I quietly laughed about it but God, we didn't hassle the poor kid. The teen years are hard enough as it is, and it was just a phase.

They make water heaters that have unlimited hot water, I'd go for that.

My brother always took two long showers every day. My parents were always happy he was so clean and my sister and I were always disgusted by that. Years later we found out he had a serious weed habit and smoked in there.

He's probably just losing track of time. Put a clock in the shower that he can check. I've found this clock to be useful for our family.

https://www.containerstore.com/s/bath/shower-bathtub/idesign-forma-stainless-steel-suction-clock/12d?productId=10011896

Anonymous wrote:Have him shower last, just like how we let people with less grocery pay first at the register when we have large loads. .

Hahaha. PP, have you not seen some of the crazy DCUM threads on this?

I remember at that age. I took long hot showers as often as I could. Growing pains made my muscle and body ache almost daily. It was the only easily accessible relief.