Anonymous
12/19/2019 09:37
Subject: Re:Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:Men would have to add sexual connection and I am surprised but not shocked that's not even a criteria for married women.
My wife would score 8-10 on almost every category except earnings which I don't care about since I make more than enough. We rarely have sex and I doubt we are married when the kids leave the nest. She is content, I am not.
I'm female and I guess I don't think sexual connection is that important after a while. How many 80-90 year olds are getting it on nonstop? I'd also be pissed off if my husband was whining about sex right after I delivered babies or when I was 9 months pregnant. I've seen quite a few men on here who want sex 4 week postpartum. I'm one of the extremely content posters and we do have sex 2-3x a week which is the most we can manage (I'm higher drive than DH). Romance is more important than sex and I know my DH would agree.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 09:29
Subject: Re:Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
1. Kindness - 2
2. Humor - 8
3. Generosity - 2 (Concerned, I pointed out that there was an old lady asking for handouts in the cold on our way to dinner at Mon Amie Gabi in Bethesda. I was expecting a “that’s so sad, let’s pool our cash and give to her.” Nope. Instead he said, “ Are you going to let THAT ruin your night?” with this tone of contempt. Granted, a few years later, he agreed to paying $1k to a family in need I was helping through some volunteer work so I bumped it to a 2.
4. Parenting - 3 (he’s good with the older self sufficient kid but horrible with younger kids. No patience, screams at them & got forbid they have an accident.)
5. Attractiveness--face - 9 (would so prefer to have someone less attractive who is kind)
6. Attractiveness--body - 7
7. Career success - 10
8. Earnings - 10 (even with all this money, I am miserable.)
And then answer: are you content being married to this person?
No. Had I known how cruel he can be, I would have never married him nor had children with him. This behavior all started after our kids were born. I work from home now, because the days he tears into me I am brought to me knees and cry for days. So glad to be working from home so I can still function with work without anyone knowing my situation. I have to frankly say it stings to read all these happy people who rate 5+ on kindness for their spouses. Full of envy here. I plan to leave him when the kids are older.
2. Humor - 8
3. Generosity - 2 (Concerned, I pointed out that there was an old lady asking for handouts in the cold on our way to dinner at Mon Amie Gabi in Bethesda. I was expecting a “that’s so sad, let’s pool our cash and give to her.” Nope. Instead he said, “ Are you going to let THAT ruin your night?” with this tone of contempt. Granted, a few years later, he agreed to paying $1k to a family in need I was helping through some volunteer work so I bumped it to a 2.
4. Parenting - 3 (he’s good with the older self sufficient kid but horrible with younger kids. No patience, screams at them & got forbid they have an accident.)
5. Attractiveness--face - 9 (would so prefer to have someone less attractive who is kind)
6. Attractiveness--body - 7
7. Career success - 10
8. Earnings - 10 (even with all this money, I am miserable.)
And then answer: are you content being married to this person?
No. Had I known how cruel he can be, I would have never married him nor had children with him. This behavior all started after our kids were born. I work from home now, because the days he tears into me I am brought to me knees and cry for days. So glad to be working from home so I can still function with work without anyone knowing my situation. I have to frankly say it stings to read all these happy people who rate 5+ on kindness for their spouses. Full of envy here. I plan to leave him when the kids are older.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 07:13
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:On scale of 1-10, 1 being low and 10 being high, rate your spouse's:
1. Kindness - 10, he’s much kinder than I am!
2. Humor - 6, we don’t find the same stuff funny
3. Generosity - 8, he’s very generous with time/money but not to the point that people take advantage
4. Parenting - 7, good overall but can be checked out
5. Attractiveness--face - 8, he’s good looking and has a great head of hair at almost 40
6. Attractiveness--body - 7, good overall
7. Career success - 3 relative to this area, he will never be more than a high-level fed. 8 relative to everyone we know outside of this area.
8. Earnings - see above
And then answer: are you content being married to this person? - Yes, we’ve been married 11 years and have 2 kids. He’s a good man. I feel very lucky.
How do you define high level fed? Specific GS grade? SES?
Many SES types go on to very high level private sector jobs afterwards.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 06:54
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:Really surprised people are content with anyone with kindness below 8. I feel like that would be fundamental to any marriage.
I could not agree more.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 06:27
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Really surprised people are content with anyone with kindness below 8. I feel like that would be fundamental to any marriage.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 06:18
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:1. Kindness 4
2. Humor 4
3. Generosity 3
4. Parenting 8
5. Attractiveness--face 8
6. Attractiveness--body 8
7. Career success 10
8. Earnings 10
Content most of the time
Translation to me - you married a good looking ahole who makes a lot of money. This town is full of them. Kindness 4? Sounds about right. Nice example you are setting for your kids. It’s ok to be a dick as long as you are good looking and make money. Everything that is wrong with this town.
Anonymous
12/19/2019 05:58
Subject: Re:Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Men would have to add sexual connection and I am surprised but not shocked that's not even a criteria for married women.
My wife would score 8-10 on almost every category except earnings which I don't care about since I make more than enough. We rarely have sex and I doubt we are married when the kids leave the nest. She is content, I am not.
My wife would score 8-10 on almost every category except earnings which I don't care about since I make more than enough. We rarely have sex and I doubt we are married when the kids leave the nest. She is content, I am not.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 22:15
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why is sexual enthusiasm not on this list?
Or intelligence?
Good adds.
Because they are irrelevant to OP’s agenda as advanced by the rest of the list.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 22:02
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:Why is sexual enthusiasm not on this list?
Or intelligence?
Good adds.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 21:51
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Why is sexual enthusiasm not on this list?
Anonymous
12/18/2019 18:53
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
1. Kindness 8
2. Humor 10
3. Generosity 8
4. Parenting 8
5. Attractiveness--face 9
6. Attractiveness--body 8
7. Career success 10
8. Earnings 9
Super content.
2. Humor 10
3. Generosity 8
4. Parenting 8
5. Attractiveness--face 9
6. Attractiveness--body 8
7. Career success 10
8. Earnings 9
Super content.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 17:41
Subject: Re:Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
1. 10
2. 8 (his sense of humor leans snarky)
3. 10
4. 10
5. 8
6. 5 (dad bod)
7. 10
8. 10
Yes very
2. 8 (his sense of humor leans snarky)
3. 10
4. 10
5. 8
6. 5 (dad bod)
7. 10
8. 10
Yes very
Anonymous
12/18/2019 17:38
Subject: Re:Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
My husband is an 8-10 on all with greater than 10 on career and earnings and we’ve been married 37 years. And my mother wanted me to marry someone else. I think he’d give me pretty high scores as well except on earnings because I gave up my career when our kids were pre-teens. But I’m sure he’d give me a 10 on parenting because our kids are wonderful young adults.
Anonymous
12/18/2019 17:20
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:On scale of 1-10, 1 being low and 10 being high, rate your spouse's:
1. Kindness 7
2. Humor 8
3. Generosity 10
4. Parenting 5
5. Attractiveness--face 8
6. Attractiveness--body 3
7. Career success 8
8. Earnings 9
Fairly content- 7 or 8 out of 10
Anonymous
12/18/2019 17:16
Subject: Rate your spouse on these, and are you content?
Anonymous wrote:1. Kindness - 3
2. Humor - 6
3. Generosity - 2
4. Parenting - 6
5. Attractiveness--face - 8
6. Attractiveness--body - 7
7. Career success - 9
8. Earnings - 8
No, not content.
+1, was content, not happy at all. Reconsider about life partnership. I'm sad, but it is hard if the other person is not interested in even saying hello or good bye to you. They just want you to comply to what they need which I understand it seems to be a very small ask like going to the company party or family gathering and pretend we are ok. It is a lot to someone who has been unhappy, it would involve drugs.
I love our children so there's that.