Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, it’s the anti-Santa folks perpetrating vitriol. You’re all SO superior ?

Your poor kids.

I agree. The superiority complex from the anti-Santa parents is unreal. I get not doing Santa if you don’t celebrate Christmas or simply don’t prefer to partake in the tradition. But OP is commenting how Santa conflicts with “her values” ... give me a break.

I’ve heard of parents not doing Santa because they don’t want their kids to find out they’ve lied to them. But if you are worried your child will become distraught over learning the truth about Santa and being “lied to” then maybe you need to worry more about teaching them some resiliency.

Don’t do Santa if you don’t feel like it. But stop acting like you’re more enlightened for opting out of what is simply a fun, cultural tradition.

It’s not a cultural tradition for everyone. Not everyone celebrates Christmas.

Anonymous wrote:Uh, it’s the anti-Santa folks perpetrating vitriol. You’re all SO superior ?

Your poor kids.

I agree. The superiority complex from the anti-Santa parents is unreal. I get not doing Santa if you don’t celebrate Christmas or simply don’t prefer to partake in the tradition. But OP is commenting how Santa conflicts with “her values” ... give me a break.

I’ve heard of parents not doing Santa because they don’t want their kids to find out they’ve lied to them. But if you are worried your child will become distraught over learning the truth about Santa and being “lied to” then maybe you need to worry more about teaching them some resiliency.

Don’t do Santa if you don’t feel like it. But stop acting like you’re more enlightened for opting out of what is simply a fun, cultural tradition.

Anonymous wrote:Patents blatantly perpetrate an active lie to their children and somehow, my eight year old is the bad guy if he fails bear the burden of YOUR lie to YOUR child. Give me a break.

How is it your child’s burden to keep up the lie? Just teach him not to go around being a snitch. He literally has to do nothing except NOT say “Santa Claus isn’t real.”

Anonymous wrote:"Stories are powerful and for some people they are very emotional. Santa is a story. He's not our story but he's important to some of our friends and it is not kind to argue with people about their stories. Accept what your friends have to tell you about their stories, like Santa, and don't argue with them about those stories."

+100 I’m curious whether any of the santa-truthers take their kids to church? Bc this is basically the same talk we give our kids about religion or Elf on the shelf or any customs or ideas we don’t believe in. We do Santa, but our extended family do not. We’ve never had a problem; i do think it is the first lesson in tolerance of different beliefs. I think if your family doesn’t want to do santa, that’s fine, but to create a vitriolic kindergartener who ruins everyone else’s fun is sad. It suggests that maybe you are uncomfortable with not giving your kids Santa and try to justify it by telling them the “adult truth” rather than you just don’t believe. I agree with the PP who stated there are a lot of ways to raise children differently without necessarily telling them the “adult” truth. That said, my kids have encountered the Santa truthers at school and generally just dismiss them.

Anonymous wrote:Hi... so... we celebrate Christmas and for a variety of reasons I'd rather not debate, have also told our kids there's no "real" Santa Claus.

Suggestions as to how to tell them not to tell other kids without throwing other parents under the bus? "Some people tell their kids Santa Claus is real, but it's not true but don't reveal the truth?"

Please: if this cannot be a debate about what to tell your kids I'd be grateful.

Some families like to play a Santa game, and part of the game is not to tell them it's not real. That's up to the family.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah by third grade the whole class is talking about this.

More like 1st grade. I was surprised by how few Santa years we got.

Here's the thing -- EVERY child who is brought up with the Santa myth stops being a believer at some point. So all families that have that tradition need to have a plan for that.

Please explain Santa to your non-believing kids however makes sense to you. If your kid tells my kid Santa isn't real, my kid will fine (we've all been fine so far, I promise). If my kid is still a true believer, they'll probably disregard what your kid said. And if they are on the fence -- oh well, they were going to get there anyway. And IMO, they'll continue to pretend for a little bit more for ME because it's fun and that's what kids do, and little by little they will figure out that they are old enough to admit that they don't believe.

Anonymous wrote:"Some families like to pretend and that's right for their families, so it's not polite to tell them it's not real"

This is basically what we told our now-young adult DCs, and it worked out well. They grew up close to my young cousins, and never told. In fact, my dc and the cousins joke about it now. It was really, not a problem at all.

I have a young dc and she is terrified of Santa so we don't even discuss it, lol.

"Stories are powerful and for some people they are very emotional. Santa is a story. He's not our story but he's important to some of our friends and it is not kind to argue with people about their stories. Accept what your friends have to tell you about their stories, like Santa, and don't argue with them about those stories."

I was just discussing one of the other essentially identical Santa threads with my 12-year-old tonight. They suggested, “Some people’s tradition is for Santa to visit, but that doesn’t happen at our house because we have other traditions.” I thought this was a nice way to sidestep both “Is he real?” and “Why doesn’t he come to our house?” while still telling the truth.

Yeah by third grade the whole class is talking about this.

Y'all are tripping over this Santa drama. Pretty sure you care more than your kids do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say every family has different beliefs and some believe Santa is real and for them it is. It’s no different than some people believing God is real.

That depends on your views on God. Parents are quite unlikely to believe in Santa Claus themselves even if they tell their kids he's real.

Well I don’t believe in either really but you wouldn’t know it. We go all out for Xmas because that’s how I was raised (also religious). I dropped the religious part for my kids. I also tell them I believe we die when we go to heaven because it’s a nice belief. I don’t know what happens but I can save that convo for another time....

OP do what you want this year but if your kids are young you’re going to have to remind them every year. And you’re going to have to remind them earlier than you think.
As far as I know my then 5 year old told one kid and it was in November when that kid had brought up Santa at school. I hadn’t realized I needed to give him the annual “remember-don’t-ruin-it-for-others” speech so early. Now he’s 7 and we annually threaten him to keep his mouth shut. At this rate we will have to keep it up until he’s 12.

It’s gotten really ridiculous & out of hand. I literally have to say things like - you don’t know who believes real leprechauns visit their houses on St Patrick’s day so don’t ruin the secret for them.

Most little kids will just go along with it at school or whatever, no matter what they’re told at home. We aren’t a big Santa household here either. It’s not like I told my 4 year old “Larlo, Santa is just a fake character,” but we also don’t really emphasize it or make it a big part of our Christmas activities. But I know that at school, if his buddies were saying “Santa got me a new bike,” “Santa got me some toy trains,” that my kid would pipe in with what Santa got him too.

I do think you have to accept that once they hit 1st grade or so, there’s going to be a kid who has an older sibling or cousin and is going to start on the “Santa isn’t real” stuff. That’s life and kids have always done that, because they’re immature little kids.