We do Christmas Eve/morning at our house most years. Sometimes my parents can join and sometimes not. Every couple of years, DH's extended family makes the effort to go to MIL's house for actual Christmas Eve/morning. This year is not one of those years so everyone (25 people) is coming to our house the weekend before Christmas instead. No matter what, we all make time to see each other in a big group at some point.

This all works for us. Seeing the family on a specific day on the calendar isn't the most important thing for us. Seeing them during the season is what's most important.

Grandparents. They can’t easily travel and we can. The kids love being with extended family on Christmas.

We do travel to grandparents but they make it magical and we love doing it. Would I do it if we didn’t want to? No.

We alternate years - traveling from DC to CA and alternate years grandparents come to us and we're home. We had a terrible flying experience traveling on Dec 23rd with an infant and toddler so last year, when it was time to travel to CA again, we booked flights on Christmas day. It was LOVELY! Kids were up early and EXCITED beyond belief to get to the airport and travel - they were 3y and 5y at the time. We asked Santa to please deliver gifts to CA. Traffic was light, people at the airport were happy... we knew we were going to get woken up early anyway. Arrived at family's home at noon with lunch ready and gifts under tree! It was the best compromise for all of us.

My parents and my inlaws have very different views on Christmas. For the IL's it is more about presents and for my parents it is about the tradition and celebration of Christmas. In the past my parents have spent the night with us on Christmas Eve and have attended the children's service (our kids and 3 and 4) with us and then on Christmas morning we open presents and then I serve a big Christmas lunch. My IL's, SIL, and her son (15) join us for presents around 11 and then they join us for lunch. This year the IL's told me that they will not be joining us this year. They are within a 30 minute drive. To be honest, I am thrilled. Really takes the pressure off and since they never seem to enjoy the dinner and are pretty self absorbed it seems like a great idea. They might come by on Christmas eve to drop off presents, but they aren't sure yet.

We travel to my parents' house across the country. We have one child. And when DC was first born, I started happily envisioning Christmas mornings at home with our own traditions. But you know what? DC loves the chaos of opening Christmas presents with my other nieces and nephews (who also travel from afar). While I might appreciate the calm and peace of staying at home, I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps I would feel differently if we had more than one child. I don't know.

Anonymous wrote:We stay home. I love Christmas at home and so do my kids.
So what works for you!

Just curious... if your parents and/or inlaws are still alive, do they like spending Christmas by themselves?

We stay home. I love Christmas at home and so do my kids.
So what works for you!

Sounds like you just don’t like your family. Either that or you’re a very rigid person. We always celebrated at my parents house. Now my mother is gone, my father lives abroad and is old, and it feels like Christmas is missing something. If you live your parents don’t take them for granted and let your kids make some Christmas memories with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel far to extended family. Totally worth it. 3 kids under 3.

Awww. Those poor kids...

Yes this definitely rises to the level of sad......wtf are you people arguing about? This is a thread full of people saying they love their children and do XYZ because of it. Then another set says they love their children and do ABC. Isn't the big picture that everyone is trying to make the holidays nice for their families and ALL these kids are lucky?????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We see family on christmas eve and spend christmas at home. My chlidren opening presents under the tree at their own home trumps whatever extended family wants. They are only young once.

So opening presents are more important than spending time with family? I guess one day your kids will tell your grandchildren that opening presents under the tree matters more than spending time with you : ) Merry Christmas!

Yes. And I hope my son has a wonderful family and prioritizes them, especially at Christmas. I would consider myself a failure as a mom if he became the kind of husband that cares more about his mom than his wife and kids. You can live your parents and prioritize your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for Xmas morning at home, and then leaving to go to grandparents' house at noon or 1 pm.

Stay overnight -- cramming in for one night won't kill anyone, or else spring for a hotel.

Return home evening of the 26th.

How is Xmas in a hotel special or meaningful for a kid? I just don’t get that compromise

Yep Christmas is for kids not grandparents.

No it is for families - but everyone’s are different. For mine Christmas Eve / Christmas morning are the big parts.

Anonymous wrote:We live on opposite coasts and we stay home for Christmas.

Growing up, we had Christmas morning at home and then we would drive to Grandma’s in the afternoon so we would have Christmas dinner with extended family.
In your case, if there was a big Christmas dinner and family was enjoyable to be around, I would do this. Gives the best of both worlds and there is no traffic that time of day, gives kids a chance to rest from the early morning and lots of excitement.

Don’t feel pressured to spend Christmas the way your siblings want you to. If you and your family want to be home, do it.

+1. In our case my family is in flyover country. DH likes to have Cmas Eve and morning at home, and then we fly out (not too early) to the Midwest on Cmas Day to spend time with my side of the family. It's a good day to travel and a nice way to compromise - IF it is the sort of thing you want to do - but I am a big believer in each family getting to make its own traditions. I have really treasured memories of growing up, waking up in our home with just my parents and siblings, and having our own family Christmas. We would drive a few hours to see one or the other sets of grandparents every few years but we were always home on Christmas morning and it was great.

Your siblings get to pick what they want to do with their families, and so do you, OP. There is nothing to feel guilty or apologetic about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We travel far to extended family. Totally worth it. 3 kids under 3.

Awww. Those poor kids...

Happy mom, happy life!