Anonymous wrote:Spoken from a true cultural bias toward independence. Some cultures highly value interdependence, OP. That doesn’t mean those parents are bad, just have different values.

https://www.dimensionsofculture.com/2013/09/how-individualism-and-collectivism-manifest-in-child-rearing-practices/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

It’s the parents ability to parent that’s changed. The kids’ abilities are unchanged just untapped.

There’s a lot of dumb information and a lot of it about how to parent. Basics are getting buried in the avalanche.

You see this in potty training. Kids used to Ben potty trained shortly before they were 2. Now they are 3 and counting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen... I have recently returned to the classroom after a 20 year period off to be at home with my own children. I have been surprised by three things-1. the decline in coping skills -and by this I mean coping with boredom or frustration. Your child should not need to go to the social worker, bathroom, nurse with some fabricated excuse because we are about to begin an non preferred task such as math or phonics. 2. decline in general knowledge- all of this technology is not increasing general knowledge. Read or discuss the world with your child! 3. having to be the center of attention- yes, your child should be able to sit and listen to a classmate receive attention or or verbal praise without needing to sabotage. It’s been a real eye opener.

I wish teachers and parents would speak up and make it known to school admins that more and more technology in classrooms is NOT a good thing, especially when it’s used as a babysitting device.

Anonymous wrote:Spoken from a true cultural bias toward independence. Some cultures highly value interdependence, OP. That doesn’t mean those parents are bad, just have different values.

https://www.dimensionsofculture.com/2013/09/how-individualism-and-collectivism-manifest-in-child-rearing-practices/

Anonymous wrote:Op here and I’m coming back to say how much I appreciate the support for this post!!!

To a pp: you are right that I’m not teaching children with severe special needs. When I have had children in my classroom recently diagnosed with high functioning autism, or on the road to be diagnosed with ADHD (note: I never have and never will be one who diagnoses—this is coming from the parents and their therapy teams), I have absolutely adjusted to their developmental needs, requiring different things from them as their classmates, but yes expecting them to learn along the way and working with them over and over to get there.

And to the pp who suggested this approach isn’t nurturing. I simply disagree that doing everything for your kids is nurturing. Being nurturing means listening to their feelings when they are upset, even if they are upset because they are the ones that took a toy out of another students hand or pushed someone else’s tower. Nurturing is noticing when they are feeling off, sad, angry, and stopping everything to make sure they are okay. Nurturing is knowing that there are no “bad” preschool students and knowing that bad choices are often a communication of a need. Nurturing is developing empathy skills in the classroom so that they are in an environment where everyone is kind. My students love me and give me hugs constantly—and none of them are upset at having to put their own coat or shoes on. They aren’t mad when I don’t throw their snack trash away. They aren’t feeling less-cared for in those moments. They are going along with the rules and boundaries and norms of the classroom and children love knowing clear routine and boundaries. It makes them feel proud, safe, and capable.

Anonymous wrote:Amen... I have recently returned to the classroom after a 20 year period off to be at home with my own children. I have been surprised by three things-1. the decline in coping skills -and by this I mean coping with boredom or frustration. Your child should not need to go to the social worker, bathroom, nurse with some fabricated excuse because we are about to begin an non preferred task such as math or phonics. 2. decline in general knowledge- all of this technology is not increasing general knowledge. Read or discuss the world with your child! 3. having to be the center of attention- yes, your child should be able to sit and listen to a classmate receive attention or or verbal praise without needing to sabotage. It’s been a real eye opener.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoken as a preschool teacher with no training or kids. Spoken as someone who never dealt with special needs and a child who has no understanding of their name let alone a trash can.

Not the OP, but I am also a preschool teacher with training and 15 years experience, children of my own, and I have special needs children in my class. I fully agree with the OP. I have high exceptions for the kids in my class and all the parents appreciate it, they are all in awe at the things they can do in class. I do set age appropriate goals for the kids and I’m not going to ask them to do something I know they can’t do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love if my kids preschool teacher would actually tell me what their expectations for my kids are outright. I am happy to help them learn (even how to be more independent) but I am not an expert at early childhood development. I know what the pediatrician or my friends have mentioned.

If being gentle isn’t getting the message across, then tell me what you you expect in the classroom so we can model it at home, too.

I have no problem with this post just don’t assume that just because we are parents, we know what we are supposed to know all the time.

Just read the op and take it to heart. Zero reason to respond defensively and with excuses. Start now.

No. I didn't read this as defensive AT ALL. I learned so much from my son's daycare teacher and preschool teachers (I stayed at home for several years after age one). I read some books and kept up in the CDC milestones, for sure. But there were many incidents of "oh, wow, my baby is supposed to be able to use a spoon?" In preschool, the teacher taught the kids how to do this flip technique for coats. Previously, I'd been helping my 3yo son put on his coat because he wasn't coordinated enough to do it the regular way. And I was unaware of the "preschool flip."

I very much appreciated that our preschool listed some practical things among their learning goals (along with ABCs, etc). At the beginning of K or first, the teacher sent an email home with expectations like tying shoes, keeping track of gloves and hats, hand washing and being able to deal with clothing to go to bathroom without help. I see no problem with PP's suggestions to the op.

I also really like OP's post and agree with her too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoken as a preschool teacher with no training or kids. Spoken as someone who never dealt with special needs and a child who has no understanding of their name let alone a trash can.

Oh look, here's special needs mom. It's obvious that OP is talking about a typically abled child and not children with special needs. Get off your high horse.

OP and you need to get off your high horse and realize how offensive posts like this are. No reason a toddler or preschooler cannot be nurtured and have things done for them. They are very young kids. Sounds like OP and you are either too lazy or not very nurturing.

So you don't think young children are capable. They are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoken as a preschool teacher with no training or kids. Spoken as someone who never dealt with special needs and a child who has no understanding of their name let alone a trash can.

Oh look, here's special needs mom. It's obvious that OP is talking about a typically abled child and not children with special needs. Get off your high horse.

OP and you need to get off your high horse and realize how offensive posts like this are. No reason a toddler or preschooler cannot be nurtured and have things done for them. They are very young kids. Sounds like OP and you are either too lazy or not very nurturing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love if my kids preschool teacher would actually tell me what their expectations for my kids are outright. I am happy to help them learn (even how to be more independent) but I am not an expert at early childhood development. I know what the pediatrician or my friends have mentioned.

If being gentle isn’t getting the message across, then tell me what you you expect in the classroom so we can model it at home, too.

I have no problem with this post just don’t assume that just because we are parents, we know what we are supposed to know all the time.

Just read the op and take it to heart. Zero reason to respond defensively and with excuses. Start now.