Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 09:57     Subject: Re:Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That sounds like our schedule - minus we don't get a week in February - usually 5 days. We travel some long weekends and not others.

Is her compliant about frequency or location? I am not sure we could do much more. . . I get tired and looking forward to home time after travel with kids!


Both. Her DH does prefer going to the same places (hence they go skiing, to the Caribbean, and the beach every year). I think they do a thing where he picks a destination, then she picks, etc. and he always picks the same places which she finds frustrating. But she also wants a sixth week long vacation in the fall - I think she wants to time it with the Jewish High Holidays. We’re not Jewish but in NY you get those days off from school.

Anyway, my attempts to tell her that if your problem in life is that your DH is too cheap to pay for a SIXTH annual vacation, your life is not that bad, etc. fell on deaf ears.

I’m surprised by all the people saying this is a normal, even “boring” amount of travel!


Well to be fair, if he gets to pick 3 places each year and she only gets 2, I can see why she’s put out and wants one more. That’s only fair. Especially if he always opts for the same boring places each year.


New poster here.
That's what I was thinking after I read the OP. While it is several weeks of vacation, it sounds like there's little variety. I'd be bored going "to the beach" every year. Or the Caribbean.
If I could afford it (and it sounds like they can) I'd mix it up with destinations in South America or Africa.


Not everyone is up to such long plane rides and time changes with three kids especially if they are still young.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 09:56     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Maybe he is a workaholic and she wants to plan vacations because that's the only way she can get him to completely decompress and focus on the family without distractions.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 09:49     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does she work? Does DH come on all trips? Does he work on vacation? Those are the things that would influence my opinion on "excessive".


OP here. No she doesn’t work. SAHM with a full time nanny.

Her DH works in banking.


Like i said, in IB (investment banking), this is very typical travel.

It is a bit cheeky to complain he chooses 3 and her only 2 when he is paying for all of it.


She must keep a very clean house and really bring it in the bedroom.


Why do we (women) still play into this view of our value/worth?

Of course what ever misogynist who wrote this totally discounts her main job: parenting. But SAHM's do play into this outdated arrangement.


Based on vacation schedule, it sounds like kids are in school most of the day.

But the way finances work, it can be a tough dynamic where DH makes all the money, and the DW wants to spend and spend like OP sis seems to.

Instead of complaining, she needs to show how it benefits him (like by traveling to more interesting places, he will have better stories or anecdotes to share with clients who likely are doing similar trips, or that it will spur creativity to immerse in a new culture). The way OP makes it sound like she is just bored and whiney, though perhaps that is a poor representation?
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 08:36     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the full pay families at my kids’ private. I personally find travel annoying and exhausting, especially with my kids, but they’re starting to notice that their friends are jetting off to the Caribbean while we’re staycationing again.


Better up your game then.


Maybe one of y’all jet setters will start inviting them along.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 08:33     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does she work? Does DH come on all trips? Does he work on vacation? Those are the things that would influence my opinion on "excessive".


OP here. No she doesn’t work. SAHM with a full time nanny.

Her DH works in banking.


Like i said, in IB (investment banking), this is very typical travel.

It is a bit cheeky to complain he chooses 3 and her only 2 when he is paying for all of it.


She must keep a very clean house and really bring it in the bedroom.


Why do we (women) still play into this view of our value/worth?

Of course what ever misogynist who wrote this totally discounts her main job: parenting. But SAHM's do play into this outdated arrangement.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 08:29     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
If they are staying in hotels, it is a lot. Especially if he foots the whole bill.

i hate this dynamic in families with a stay-at-home parent.

One is portrayed as the Daddy, and the woman is portrayed as being spoiled or kept or whiny.

You may be jealous of her set up...but I agree with you.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2019 00:19     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the full pay families at my kids’ private. I personally find travel annoying and exhausting, especially with my kids, but they’re starting to notice that their friends are jetting off to the Caribbean while we’re staycationing again.


Better up your game then.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 23:10     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
This sounds like the full pay families at my kids’ private. I personally find travel annoying and exhausting, especially with my kids, but they’re starting to notice that their friends are jetting off to the Caribbean while we’re staycationing again.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 23:00     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:It's unimportant what the topic is, she just wants to brag. If it wasn't travel it would be some other topic.


This. I'm sorry OP this is your sister. I've got one like this too.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 22:59     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
It's unimportant what the topic is, she just wants to brag. If it wasn't travel it would be some other topic.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 20:25     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m envious of her travel! Sounds amazing


Seriously. I also find we travel to places I grew up with, more or less, b/c it’s easy and comfortable. But I like the idea of doing both: easy vacations and adventures


+1

I was just thinking how nice it sounds. I’m a little surprised people on here are scoffing about wanting to get out of cold, snowy NYC in February and hop on a plane to the Caribbean!
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 20:14     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:I’m envious of her travel! Sounds amazing


Seriously. I also find we travel to places I grew up with, more or less, b/c it’s easy and comfortable. But I like the idea of doing both: easy vacations and adventures
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 17:22     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
I’m envious of her travel! Sounds amazing
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 15:29     Subject: Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:Hey there 12:39. Spend is a noun now? Like gift turned into a verb?


Absolutely. Haven’t spent much time in the corporate world, have you?
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2019 14:04     Subject: Re:Is this a normal or excessive amount of travel?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That sounds like our schedule - minus we don't get a week in February - usually 5 days. We travel some long weekends and not others.

Is her compliant about frequency or location? I am not sure we could do much more. . . I get tired and looking forward to home time after travel with kids!


Both. Her DH does prefer going to the same places (hence they go skiing, to the Caribbean, and the beach every year). I think they do a thing where he picks a destination, then she picks, etc. and he always picks the same places which she finds frustrating. But she also wants a sixth week long vacation in the fall - I think she wants to time it with the Jewish High Holidays. We’re not Jewish but in NY you get those days off from school.

Anyway, my attempts to tell her that if your problem in life is that your DH is too cheap to pay for a SIXTH annual vacation, your life is not that bad, etc. fell on deaf ears.

I’m surprised by all the people saying this is a normal, even “boring” amount of travel!


Well to be fair, if he gets to pick 3 places each year and she only gets 2, I can see why she’s put out and wants one more. That’s only fair. Especially if he always opts for the same boring places each year.


New poster here.
That's what I was thinking after I read the OP. While it is several weeks of vacation, it sounds like there's little variety. I'd be bored going "to the beach" every year. Or the Caribbean.
If I could afford it (and it sounds like they can) I'd mix it up with destinations in South America or Africa.


+1

I would assume this is her problem with the schedule as well but we don’t know the ages of the kids.

If they’re really little then Disney and the beach make more sense.