I left architecture, which is brutal for family life. Felt guilty leaving as so few women stay, but no way I could have pulled it off with my 2 kids without a sahd or nanny, which the pay does not support.

Found a great job in a design related field that works from home and has great family life benefits, with work that is duller but not mind numbing. My earlier education credentials definitely helped me get this job though, I would still tell my kids to get the best degree they can but be flexible with where life takes you.

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. I think more important than the field, is instilling in your child a sense of logic. When you reach that point of being in the rat race and knowing it can't continue, having the intelligence and bravery to pivot. For me, I worked in management consulting, 80+ hour weeks, and could write my ticket anywhere. Had kids, moved out of DC, and [b]now I work as an exec in an industry, 830-4 every day, it's great.

[/b]

Can you give any info on how you made this pivot? What you looked for? I'm in 80+ hour a week management consulting and it is sucking the life out of me.

No. I am in research/academia. Definitely put in my time pre-tenure, but had the flexibility to work from home for the first year that my children were babies. Also had a year off teaching with each. Post-tenure, it is the ideal job. I make my own hours with no boss. Many days I can do a school pick up around 3 or 4. Family dinner every night at 5:30. I would not trade for a higher paying job, nor would I want to be a SAHM. With current policies in the US, this is the closest to being there for my children and having a career that I am passionate about.

No regrets. I think more important than the field, is instilling in your child a sense of logic. When you reach that point of being in the rat race and knowing it can't continue, having the intelligence and bravery to pivot. For me, I worked in management consulting, 80+ hour weeks, and could write my ticket anywhere. Had kids, moved out of DC, and now I work as an exec in an industry, 830-4 every day, it's great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

Um, our teachers had a pension. That’s been gone for AT LEAST 15 years, probably longer.

I’m in NY and we still have an amazing retirement and an annual increase until retirement. The woman I replaced was making over six figures. The house I bought fresh out of grad school was a tiny, but cute, 1000 sq foot 2 bed one bath. It was on 1/2 acre, in a great school district, in a town so safe that when I bought it they old owner couldn’t even find keys to give me since no one locks their doors. That house was 62,000 and my starting salarywas 56,000. Just depends on the state and region on how well a person can live on a teacher’s salary.

Anonymous wrote:I chose a career that has great flexibility and ease to work for yourself. However, since I worked for 13 years before I had kids, I would’ve chose a more demanding career and worked my butt off and then taken my foot off the gas. I also would’ve gone for an advanced degree to set an example for my kids. I was terrified of incurring debt at the time.

On the other hand, while I was getting my two advanced degrees, many years went by when I was not contributing to my retirement in addition to accumulating some school loan debt. Upsides and downsides.

Don't worry about not having an advanced degree where your example for your kids is concerned. I'm sure they think you are the bees knees.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would've chosen a much higher paying one!


-a teacher

I have a lot of respect for teachers but you had to know it didnt pay well when you studied to do it, right?

Yes, but a lot of teachers lived in my neighborhood growing up, so I thought “ not a lot” meant forgoing trips to Europe. 19 year old me didn’t take into account that:
1. They were grandfathered into pensions that aren’t available to me.
2. They married rich OR
3. Just because you own a nice house doesn’t mean that all is well financially.

Also

4. Who knew that the cost of college would TRIPPLE in 15 years?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

Um, our teachers had a pension. That’s been gone for AT LEAST 15 years, probably longer.

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

Amen. Everyone says “we need good teachers”, but then steer their children anywhere else.

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I feel the opposite! Left big business for education. Now I get 13 weeks off a year, home by 430, never worry about snow days or breaks, see my kid a ton more and my pay is acceptable for the trade offs and I get a soild retirement. Pre-kid, I didn’t care and wanted to continue to rise. Post-kid, I don’t care as much anymore and I am thrilled to have a better work/life balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would've chosen a much higher paying one!


-a teacher

I have a lot of respect for teachers but you had to know it didnt pay well when you studied to do it, right?

DP here, I'm not a teacher but I can say that at 18 years old I was pretty ignorant of how expensive life is and what I would need to get by. I didn't have any idea how much money my dad made to support our lifestyle, and what different lifestyles would be offered by different jobs. I mean, I kind of knew intellectually that teachers are paid less than bankers but honestly it didn't feel like the differences were that big. I was also an idealist who thought that being motivated by passion and helping people was more important than salary. I was raised in a total bubble suburb though and was kind of sheltered/dumb.

This was true for me as well. I grew up LMC with parents who didn't make much money. $42,000 seemed like a huge amount to me at the time

No. But I stayed at my company while being somewhat underpaid because they are family friendly and I do have flexibility and lots of people have kids and no one raises an eyebrow if someone has leave early or take sick leave to take care of kids. I have been here 15 years, paid my dues, they know I can do good work and don’t need to monitor my FaceTime. I’m a manager of about 40 people now and allow everyone same courtesies. Life happens, life is important, we value our employees and work with them when it does. We hire and try very hard to keep the good workers who can do their jobs well and manage their schedules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

+1

Same! I have that corporate job and look longingly at teacher summers, stability and that pension. Guess the grass is always greener.

I suppose we don't know when we choose careers where we will be living, what our child situation will be like, what our partner situation will be like, what the job market will be like. It's to look back and say "oh this career would have been a much better fit for my current lifestyle" but none of us have a crystal ball in college.

Exactly. The career i picked in my early 20s (academic field science) involved lots of travel but also lots of early to mid career instability. That was fine! I was young, single, healthy, and could live cheap, and I really looked down on being stuck at a desk in an office.

A decade later, of course, I'm stuck at a desk in an office because academia and fieldwork weren't giving me the security, pay, and benefits necessary to raise the family i have now. If i could do it again I'd explore a wider variety of options but hindsight is 20/20.

No.

Big law attorney with an infant. To a certain extent, I think you have to set the boundaries and establish how much flexibility you need for yourself. Except for the rare emergency, I leave at 5 to do daycare pickup. I get some stares from some of the other midlevels (and juniors - lol okay), but I also sign back on after baby is asleep and have never missed a deadline. I do say no to work sometimes if I really need to. My hours are lower than most of the associates without children (though not by much) and sometimes I have to say no to late night meetings, which is difficult and the guilt is real. But my performance reviews have always been good and every partner in my group has been very supportive. If a junior wants to grill me about leaving at 5, that's his problem.

Will I make partner like this? Probably not, but that's not a priority.

Before baby, I would have been so anxious and horrified about leaving so early. Priorities change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I would have never gone into anything education related. The pay is horrible and the hours are horrible. I would have gone into corporate America and at least would have been paid for the long hours.

I’m the opposite. I would’ve gone into teaching because summers are off and there’s a pension!

+1

Same! I have that corporate job and look longingly at teacher summers, stability and that pension. Guess the grass is always greener.

I suppose we don't know when we choose careers where we will be living, what our child situation will be like, what our partner situation will be like, what the job market will be like. It's to look back and say "oh this career would have been a much better fit for my current lifestyle" but none of us have a crystal ball in college.