Anonymous
11/05/2019 20:28
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
Anonymous wrote:My favorite business trip of all time was Bermuda with several people from work. I was married with two young kids and 40, last day of business trip was just me and a very cool and fun girl who was 27 and happened to be extremely pretty.
Well we asked client what was best restaurant on Island for dinner, the Big 4 Partner thanked us for staying to wrap it up and next afternoon was flights.
Well we get their all tables for two. A super romantic expensive restaurant for honeymooners. All couples. Well she goes when in Rome, and we tell waiter we are on honeymoon, had two bottles of wine the whole nine yards. It was great, of course we took cab back to hotel and went to our separate rooms. Nothing happened. But to be honest, there are some things you can only do with a women, for instance if I was with a guy how would that night had gone. I also went to LA a few times and we did clubbing a lot. I was married, but six 40 year old guys cant get into night clubs. Sad that today, and by today I only mean 15 years later that cant happen. Me too movement has left us in hotel lobbies in public having six pm dinners with opposite sex or eating in room alone. Back in the day we always stay out to 1 or 2 am on business trips. I recall 40 of us on big ones hitting clubs. Mechanical Bull Riding in a business suit at 1 am for instance. Today how sad
Are you with the National Endowment for Democracy?
Anonymous
11/05/2019 20:22
Subject: Re:Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In the current climate, most men couldn’t be faulted at all for saying, have a nice evening or something similarly generic and going off on their own. It’s the safe play. Having said that, if there is a legitimate business reason for discussing things further over a “quick bite” (I’ve never understood what a “quick bite” means) that could be professionally ok.
I think men can quickly identify the crazy social media women the same way women figure out the creepy men to avoid. I can't imagine going on business travel and not getting food or drinks with a sane colleague of whatever gender.
"I think men can quickly identify the crazy social media women the same way women figure out the creepy men to avoid."
Thanks for posting this. My husband (the creep) was travelling a lot with "the crazy social media woman" about ten years ago. He never told me about her but led me to believe that he was by himself. Thanks to her social media posts I discovered that my husband is a creep.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 13:50
Subject: Re:Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
I used to do business travel more years ago. Current position has almost no business travel.
My policy was to plan for one or two dinners with coworkers per trip to be polite. So, if it is a one night or two night trip, I would plan to eat with them (if they were amenable). For a week long conference, I would usually figure one or two nights somewhere during the week, schedule allowing but otherwise, I'd be polite, but discourage too many meals together. OFten when it was a week conference or something, I would do one either first or second night, then later there was often a reception during one evening and then perhaps another meal towards the end of the week. But otherwise, I would make my own plans and be polite about it.
My policy was to plan for one or two dinners with coworkers per trip to be polite. So, if it is a one night or two night trip, I would plan to eat with them (if they were amenable). For a week long conference, I would usually figure one or two nights somewhere during the week, schedule allowing but otherwise, I'd be polite, but discourage too many meals together. OFten when it was a week conference or something, I would do one either first or second night, then later there was often a reception during one evening and then perhaps another meal towards the end of the week. But otherwise, I would make my own plans and be polite about it.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 02:07
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
I don’t think you’re over-thinking this, OP. I’ve travelled a couple of times with a male colleague who I’ve worked closely with for years - since before marriage & kids. Traveling is just... different. As a lot of PP’s have said there was a mix of eating together and eating alone, and it really wasn’t a big deal. I think we were both a bit uncomfortable about it. One time after a terrible day we went to a bar to get a drink and sat with one empty chair between us at the bar.
I don’t think your colleague would think it out of place if you grabbed a quick bite at the hotel or took something back to your room if you’d rather avoid the situation.
I don’t think your colleague would think it out of place if you grabbed a quick bite at the hotel or took something back to your room if you’d rather avoid the situation.
Anonymous
11/05/2019 01:43
Subject: Re:Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
I am in a very male dominated field and most of my colleagues are male. I have never had any trouble on trips with men and its not on my radar. I file work travel/dinners etc in my mind as “work stuff” and I bet my male colleagues do too. I often have one on one dinners with male colleagues and learn about their kids, their woodworking hobby (or whatever). I guess I do bring up my husband a lot and maybe that started as a protective mechanism? Occasionally, some of these colleagues become friends and my husband and I will socialize with their family/spouse when we are back home. So in short, my advise is to remember that it really is not an awkward situation at all unless you (or he) makes it so.
Anonymous
11/04/2019 12:54
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
'Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.
This "new trend" is straight up sexism and it is some serious BS that you are blaming it on "today's times" and advice that's "been indirectly told to us" rather than taking responsibility for your own decisions. You should treat your female colleagues the same way you would treat your male colleagues.
Hey, I agree, but it is happening A LOT. And, sorry, I am not going against my CEO for this one...although, he is the one stuck in the dark ages.
Anonymous
11/04/2019 12:25
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.
Woman here and I can't say that I blame you. DH travels with female colleagues a few times a year and I wish he would be more cautious. He is not alone when he travels but often in small groups. And the males are both the superiors to the females. They have even gone as far as renting a house for them instead of separate hotel rooms. I put a stop to that and now they at least get separate hotel rooms.
He thinks I'm afraid he's going to cheat but that's not it at all. He can do that in a hotel room. You just never know and if one of these women sues DH, they could take everything from us (he is a small business owner).
Well, at least you're not afraid he's going to be raped.
Anonymous
11/04/2019 10:52
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
Anonymous wrote:As a male, I no longer will do dinner with a female colleague. I know it's not fair, but it's been indirectly told to us, "in today's times" to just not do it. I think it's awful but it's the new trend I am seeing in corporate.
Woman here and I can't say that I blame you. DH travels with female colleagues a few times a year and I wish he would be more cautious. He is not alone when he travels but often in small groups. And the males are both the superiors to the females. They have even gone as far as renting a house for them instead of separate hotel rooms. I put a stop to that and now they at least get separate hotel rooms.
He thinks I'm afraid he's going to cheat but that's not it at all. He can do that in a hotel room. You just never know and if one of these women sues DH, they could take everything from us (he is a small business owner).
Anonymous
11/04/2019 10:42
Subject: Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
My favorite business trip of all time was Bermuda with several people from work. I was married with two young kids and 40, last day of business trip was just me and a very cool and fun girl who was 27 and happened to be extremely pretty.
Well we asked client what was best restaurant on Island for dinner, the Big 4 Partner thanked us for staying to wrap it up and next afternoon was flights.
Well we get their all tables for two. A super romantic expensive restaurant for honeymooners. All couples. Well she goes when in Rome, and we tell waiter we are on honeymoon, had two bottles of wine the whole nine yards. It was great, of course we took cab back to hotel and went to our separate rooms. Nothing happened. But to be honest, there are some things you can only do with a women, for instance if I was with a guy how would that night had gone. I also went to LA a few times and we did clubbing a lot. I was married, but six 40 year old guys cant get into night clubs. Sad that today, and by today I only mean 15 years later that cant happen. Me too movement has left us in hotel lobbies in public having six pm dinners with opposite sex or eating in room alone. Back in the day we always stay out to 1 or 2 am on business trips. I recall 40 of us on big ones hitting clubs. Mechanical Bull Riding in a business suit at 1 am for instance. Today how sad
Well we asked client what was best restaurant on Island for dinner, the Big 4 Partner thanked us for staying to wrap it up and next afternoon was flights.
Well we get their all tables for two. A super romantic expensive restaurant for honeymooners. All couples. Well she goes when in Rome, and we tell waiter we are on honeymoon, had two bottles of wine the whole nine yards. It was great, of course we took cab back to hotel and went to our separate rooms. Nothing happened. But to be honest, there are some things you can only do with a women, for instance if I was with a guy how would that night had gone. I also went to LA a few times and we did clubbing a lot. I was married, but six 40 year old guys cant get into night clubs. Sad that today, and by today I only mean 15 years later that cant happen. Me too movement has left us in hotel lobbies in public having six pm dinners with opposite sex or eating in room alone. Back in the day we always stay out to 1 or 2 am on business trips. I recall 40 of us on big ones hitting clubs. Mechanical Bull Riding in a business suit at 1 am for instance. Today how sad
Anonymous
11/04/2019 10:33
Subject: Re:Tips on traveling with opposite sex coworker
Anonymous wrote:In the current climate, most men couldn’t be faulted at all for saying, have a nice evening or something similarly generic and going off on their own. It’s the safe play. Having said that, if there is a legitimate business reason for discussing things further over a “quick bite” (I’ve never understood what a “quick bite” means) that could be professionally ok.
I think men can quickly identify the crazy social media women the same way women figure out the creepy men to avoid. I can't imagine going on business travel and not getting food or drinks with a sane colleague of whatever gender.