Anonymous
10/21/2019 14:00
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.
For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.
Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.
https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change
Population growth is already projected to peak in the next 50 years before a decline. Too precipitous a decline will have disastrous economic consequences. Since overall the birth rate is stablized or declining worldwide I don't think this concern is as thought out as it should be. There will be less humans on the earth, but that decline should be gradual if we want to take care of elder populations as they age and die.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 13:56
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
HHI $390K and we stopped at 3.
Finances definitely contributed. We're going to be in the "donut hole" for college---i.e. we're never get need-based aid.
So our goal is to save $300K per kid so if they want to go to Northwestern or Michigan or where ever we can make it happen based on savings and current earnings.
To me this is important. I don't want to tell my kid "I'm sorry. You can't go to your dream school XYZ--we can't spend $80K a year".
Finances definitely contributed. We're going to be in the "donut hole" for college---i.e. we're never get need-based aid.
So our goal is to save $300K per kid so if they want to go to Northwestern or Michigan or where ever we can make it happen based on savings and current earnings.
To me this is important. I don't want to tell my kid "I'm sorry. You can't go to your dream school XYZ--we can't spend $80K a year".
Anonymous
10/21/2019 13:36
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Family of four fits in the log flume at an amusement park. More would be tricky, so we stopped.
You and I would be friends.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 11:57
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
My pregnancies are absolutely miserable on a really out of this world scale. I wanted a big family. I'm about to have #3 and feel I have endured what I am capable of enduring. Getting my tubes tied with ZERO hesitation. This has been my worst pregnancy in terms of general misery. Not one week has been pleasant. I have 5 weeks to go. I honestly considered termination at 12 weeks due to hyperemesis.
3 it is. I think honestly though we would have been done anyway. We feel like we're at the limit of where DH and I can be pleasant happy patient parents. Exacerbated by this challenging nine months. Making the decision while pregnant to prevent any post partum hormones from making me think something is crazy.
3 it is. I think honestly though we would have been done anyway. We feel like we're at the limit of where DH and I can be pleasant happy patient parents. Exacerbated by this challenging nine months. Making the decision while pregnant to prevent any post partum hormones from making me think something is crazy.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 11:48
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wife decided after giving birth to three that she was done. Husband wanted more. Number Three was really, really cute and helped Husband make his case for one more spin of the wheel. Wife bought in; Number Four is adorable but yeah, we're done now.
+1
Pregnant with Kid 4. Happy and scared.
+1
We were both on the fence about being done after 3 (he's a little hellion!) but decided in the end to go for it, and now #4 will arrive in the spring. Probably helps that we're young-ish (35) so not as concerned about parenting into our 'golden years' and counting on salary growth during top earning years to help the expenses.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 10:44
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I knew I wanted none, and agreed to one. Then we adopted a second (family emergency). I told DH I didn't care what other "emergencies" came up, we were at max capacity and there would be no more.
It had nothing to do with money and everything to do with how little I like children or parenting them.
Jesus. How did anyone decide you’d make a good placement in an emergency. You sound like you hate kids
I basically do hate kids. I love mine, but ... certainly not the one volunteering for all the field trips at their school.
I can sort of relate, PP. I adore and enjoy my own kids on a level I never thought possible. Other kids though... I love/care for but do not enjoy my nieces and nephews. I can just barely tolerate other people's kids... kind of... sometimes... in VERY small doses.
Not a financial decision. We have two. I would have been fine with being one and done. Husband wanted three and we compromised (frankly I don't think he would have wanted to stop at three, he has terrible baby fever). I don't even want to think about ever being pregnant again and going through the baby stage again, the thought is horrible and makes me want to run away screaming.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 10:37
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
it was not a financial decision. we considered 4 but once we had 3 we were done. 3 is plenty and perfect for us.
Anonymous
10/21/2019 08:04
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
My marriage wouldn’t survive another. We knew we wanted 2 as close in age as possible, our boys are 16 months apart and it was tough, the thought of adding another baby would put us over the edge.
Anonymous
10/20/2019 20:36
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
My body gave up after one and that made the decision for us.
Anonymous
10/20/2019 20:20
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and went through full blown treatment (radiation, surgery, chemo) while I was pregnant with our second child and breastfeeding.
I am grateful that he is with us and has been doing well. However, at that time, I knew that our family was complete.
Sorrry. I can relate. I would love another child, but health issues got the better of me so one it will be.
Anonymous
10/20/2019 19:05
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
I really was opposed to having some sort of mini-van for 3 kids! Funny we have 2 and now that they are older I'm like we need a mini-van to carpool to sports and birthday parties etc. (DH is totally against a minivan).
We like our small-ish house and think it would feel tight with 3 kids, though plenty of people do it with less space I know. Definitely things like college etc was a factor, but overall we are both from families of 2 children and 2 just felt right. I had easy pregnancies, but a lot of anxiety during both so was not super psyched to go through that again. We had 2 easy babies, and I didn't think we'd get a 3rd.
We like our small-ish house and think it would feel tight with 3 kids, though plenty of people do it with less space I know. Definitely things like college etc was a factor, but overall we are both from families of 2 children and 2 just felt right. I had easy pregnancies, but a lot of anxiety during both so was not super psyched to go through that again. We had 2 easy babies, and I didn't think we'd get a 3rd.
Anonymous
10/19/2019 22:50
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Family of four fits in the log flume at an amusement park. More would be tricky, so we stopped. [/quote
You can do child, child, parent-child, child, parent. I mean, it takes considerable brain power to plan, but a few families larger than 4 have attempted log flumes
Anonymous
10/19/2019 17:21
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
I knew I'd be one and done before I even got pregnant. Just didn't want more than one kid. Never changed my mind. Kid is now 17.
Anonymous
10/19/2019 14:29
Subject: Re:Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
We stopped at 3 so we can afford to send them to the best colleges they can get into and pay for it. Plus I’m assuming one or more will want to go to grad school and we’d like to help with that as well. I’d like them to be able to Star their adult lives as debt free as possible.
~ 400,000 x 3 is already a lot of money.
~ 400,000 x 3 is already a lot of money.
Anonymous
10/19/2019 11:26
Subject: Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?
Anonymous wrote:Wife decided after giving birth to three that she was done. Husband wanted more. Number Three was really, really cute and helped Husband make his case for one more spin of the wheel. Wife bought in; Number Four is adorable but yeah, we're done now.
+1
Pregnant with Kid 4. Happy and scared.