I clean pretty much constantly, I used a professional organizer to de-clutter and create a good system for toys/household items, I have a weekly cleaning service, and I make sure my older kids have chores like vacuuming and putting up laundry. I have three kids and two muddy big dogs so it's a constant battle but I'm also a neat freak.

I lowered my standards, so I can ignore stuff that isn't urgent.

I telework once a week, and the 40 minutes between kid drop-off and signing on to work is my "tiny task" time. I use that time to tackle anything that needs doing, like unloading/ loading the dishwasher, vacuuming the public areas, quickly cleaning bathroom or kitchen sinks/counters, putting clean clothes away, etc.

I fold laundry while watching TV with my daughter. Laundry gets done whenever there's enough for a load and then it sits in the basket until I fold it.

I sort the mail into "important", "coupons/menus" and "everything else" and stack it on a table until I have time to get to it.

Sounds like you are pretty overwhelmed right now. I’d take a weekend to just focus on you and your spouse taking turns tackling specific decluttering jobs while the other one watches the kids and keeps them in a different room from the one where the spouse is working. Once that stuff is done, maybe schedule a different weekend to finish the painting job.

I have found that it really helps to have the toys organized. I got some of those cube organizers and labeled some boxes with pictures of trains, cars, superheroes, etc so the kids know what goes where. The toys are mainly in the living room and the basement. We organized the living room toys first, and when they cleaned up I enforced putting things in the right box for a while til they got it. A few moths later, we did something similar with the basement toys. It really helps because it cuts down on dumping out every toy in the house to find the one transformer they are looking for. So at the end of the day there’s less mess to deal with and it’s less intimidating for them to clean up.

Also, for having the younger kids clean up, I find it helps to give specific tasks - Larla, pick up all the superhero toys. Larlo, put away all the vehicles. Great, you finished, that, now do the trains. It makes it more manageable for them to help out.

1) Lower standards (although ironically for me it was to increase my standards because while I could tolerate my own mess, I cannot tolerate the kid mess)

2) Prioritize what is most important to you

3) Make a list of some things that happen every single day. For me this is the kitchen. I clean the kitchen every single night, no exceptions unless I am like deathly ill. Even then I usually try! If you let it go it just compounds.

4) Segregate. If you have the space designate an area as the kids area and just push stuff into it. I make the kids declutter the living room but we don't clean the playroom every day.

5) Biweekly cleaners.

I don't relax at the end of the day. I pick up the kids, make dinner, clean up dinner while they play, nighttime things (bath, books, etc.) until they go to bed, clean, make and eat dinner myself, open the laptop again to work until I go to bed after midnight, get up at 5am to rinse and repeat.

Since that is not the routine for you, here's what I suggest. Start with 15 minutes. Once the kids go to bed, if they are young, don't sit down on the couch. Pick one area of the house, e.g., kitchen, mud room, living room, etc., and tidy up/clean that area for 15 minutes. If you do that every day, it will help. You can gradually add time once it is part of your routine, but the key is not relaxing for a period and then telling yourself you'll do it later since you won't. Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes. If your kids are older and don't need so much supervision, do it while they are up.

Anonymous wrote:Minimalism. Closets are not overstuffed. Toys are few. Kids spend most of their play time outside or at activities. Vacuum twice a week before bed and do small loads of laundry couple times a week. I did that Marie Kuando ? thing a couple years ago and never looked back. Life is do much more sane now. Never look for lost stuff because there isn’t anything lost.

+1 Same here - I used to be a pack rat but culling to what really matters the most was truly life-changing.

Also, getting disciplined about cleaning as you go is essential, for kids too. Next thing you're going to do doesn't happen unless you have finished the last thing. So so worth it.

I constantly clean and pick up. Zone cleaning works well. Also, designated laundry, bathroom cleaning days. We have a destructive toddler but she will help with dishes and picking up.

As others mentioned, you've got to lower your standards. Decluttering and purging helps a ton - if it doesn't "spark joy" or you haven't touched it in weeks, let it go. Rotate toys so there aren't 1,000 sitting around at the same time. I try not to leave dishes in the sink overnight, but occasionally I'm just too tired to wash that one item and I've learned to "let it go," but always try to put dishes directly into the dishwasher once finished with meals. I think a bi-weekly cleaning service is helpful so you aren't spending your time scrubbing toilets, but not everyone can afford this and I think this is more of a "luxury" item. Set a day in the week to deal with all of the mail items - I let them pile up in a specific area for one week and then I take care of them all (otherwise half opened mail is scattered though our living room and kitchen). I've also found that if you just spend 10-15 minutes (I know, I know, when you are tired at the end of the day it is HARD...) at the end of your day picking up a few things, it really goes a long way in keeping things tidy.