Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always think the “food and sex” stuff is ridiculous. It makes it sound like men want some kind of Amelia Bedelia/prostitute hybrid, when really men want someone who is part I dream of Jeanie, part June Cleaver, part Alice Nelson, part Charlie’s Angel, and part Claire Huxtable, all wrapped into one person. Men are just as complicated as women.

They really aren’t.

They really are.

Sorry your husband is exhausting.

He isn’t any different than the multitudes of other men I know personally through work, church, friends and family, as well male authors and poets I have read, male radio hosts I have listened to, male teachers I have had, etc.

Men are just as thoughtful and complicated as women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always think the “food and sex” stuff is ridiculous. It makes it sound like men want some kind of Amelia Bedelia/prostitute hybrid, when really men want someone who is part I dream of Jeanie, part June Cleaver, part Alice Nelson, part Charlie’s Angel, and part Claire Huxtable, all wrapped into one person. Men are just as complicated as women.

They really aren’t.

They really are.

Sorry your husband is exhausting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy and I prefer very traditional gender roles. Luckily Dw does also.

I provide via excellent job so she can raise our kids and we have enough $ for help. My expectations is she keeps in shape, well groomed, wears quality and attractive clothes, and yes we have an active sex life, which includes lots of what we both want. doesn't mean bj or sex every day but we both try to be available for each other.

You didn't say anything about your involvement with the kids. How sad! I guess they will remember you as a bank account.

Not the PP, but that is rude. You must be jealous. The OP’s question wasn’t anything to do with a father’s role in raising children, that is why it wasn’t mentioned. It was ‘how to be a good wife’ get it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always think the “food and sex” stuff is ridiculous. It makes it sound like men want some kind of Amelia Bedelia/prostitute hybrid, when really men want someone who is part I dream of Jeanie, part June Cleaver, part Alice Nelson, part Charlie’s Angel, and part Claire Huxtable, all wrapped into one person. Men are just as complicated as women.

They really aren’t.

They really are.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s not that hard!

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy and I prefer very traditional gender roles. Luckily Dw does also.

I provide via excellent job so she can raise our kids and we have enough $ for help. My expectations is she keeps in shape, well groomed, wears quality and attractive clothes, and yes we have an active sex life, which includes lots of what we both want. doesn't mean bj or sex every day but we both try to be available for each other.

You didn't say anything about your involvement with the kids. How sad! I guess they will remember you as a bank account.

Anonymous wrote:I always think the “food and sex” stuff is ridiculous. It makes it sound like men want some kind of Amelia Bedelia/prostitute hybrid, when really men want someone who is part I dream of Jeanie, part June Cleaver, part Alice Nelson, part Charlie’s Angel, and part Claire Huxtable, all wrapped into one person. Men are just as complicated as women.

They really aren’t.

I work and my husband helps out around the house a lot (in addition to working) so we don’t have a super “Stepford” situation but I agree with the poster above who said just be kind. There are so many people on this board sh*t-talking their spouse and keeping score of everything. I will never talk sh*t on my spouse. Maybe a complaint to a close friend from time to time because that’s normal. But we are a team. He’s my ultimate teammate. It poisons the relationship to be going behind their back knocking them down all the time. I want to pick up his favorite food or snack or get him a little present from a cool place I visit for work or whatever. I want to do something that makes his life easier because I love him and want him to be happy. It doesn’t have strings attached and I don’t make a mark on a scoresheet to see how far ahead I am of him. When I do nice things for him he naturally wants to do them for me, too. Some people don’t get this.

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy and I prefer very traditional gender roles. Luckily Dw does also.

I provide via excellent job so she can raise our kids and we have enough $ for help. My expectations is she keeps in shape, well groomed, wears quality and attractive clothes, and yes we have an active sex life, which includes lots of what we both want. doesn't mean bj or sex every day but we both try to be available for each other.

This is my marriage. DH seems happy with it and with me.

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy and I prefer very traditional gender roles. Luckily Dw does also.

I provide via excellent job so she can raise our kids and we have enough $ for help. My expectations is she keeps in shape, well groomed, wears quality and attractive clothes, and yes we have an active sex life, which includes lots of what we both want. doesn't mean bj or sex every day but we both try to be available for each other.

Our marriage is more or less like this as well. But even with this, there is the expectation the both spouses:
1) Be kind. Speak at least as nicely to your spouse as you would to a stranger or a co-worker.

2). Be considerate. Anticipate some of the needs of your spouse at least some of the time. If the other person something important coming up, give them some space. This isn’t the time to bring up what a PITA his mom is. If someone is sick at home, then offer to go to the store and get some food or medicine.

3). Both partners should know the financial situation in the house, the day to day running of the house, how to care for the house and cars and make basic repairs, and how to take care of the children. And both should help the other out when needed. If he loses his job, then she needs to cut way back on spending and maybe look for part time work. If she is sick or has surgery, then he should step up and do the basics to manage the day to day of the house. You don’t just keep doing you and tell the other person to step it up or remain ignorant of their contributions.

Understand and meet his needs, whatever they are. And he should do the same for you. Vocalize then if need be.

And regular, enthusiastic sex

Anonymous wrote:Blow
Job
Daily

Not
Realistic.

And I'm one of the men above who listed BJs. Daily? Yeah, that would be nice. Necessary to being a good wife? If your balls are that drained, you aren't being much of a good husband for you don't have much left to give.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initiate BJs frequently-don't make him ask
Have his back
Don't talk so much
Cook his favorite foods once in a while
Don't be predictable
Don't put on weight or let yourself go

It's pretty simple really

Got it. So simple. Thanks.

Now I realize how so many women focus on the lower important things like cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, socializing, and mental load of all of those items. As long as men take care of those items in the marriage, your list is good to go.

That is my list and if you are looking for an argument, you won't get one from me. You are not wrong. Those things you mention are ALL LOWER IMPORTANCE to you marriage. And they can wait. Sure, kids need to be taken care of. It's not mutually exclusive to being a good wife to your husband. Cooking, cleaning, other domestic duties? He is just as capable and, on any given day, they can wait or be outsourced. We negotiate those things all the time and in sexy ways. Hey, I tall you what, you cook tonight and I'll do the dishes and while I'm doing that, if you can do..... we can carve out some time for that thing we've been texting about today. Said by either of us to the other. You make it work.

And unless you are really short on plates, the dishes can sit another day. Start those kids doing dishes by at least age ten, if not sooner. Same for teaching them to cook simple things.

I always think the “food and sex” stuff is ridiculous. It makes it sound like men want some kind of Amelia Bedelia/prostitute hybrid, when really men want someone who is part I dream of Jeanie, part June Cleaver, part Alice Nelson, part Charlie’s Angel, and part Claire Huxtable, all wrapped into one person. Men are just as complicated as women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy and I prefer very traditional gender roles. Luckily Dw does also.

I provide via excellent job so she can raise our kids and we have enough $ for help. My expectations is she keeps in shape, well groomed, wears quality and attractive clothes, and yes we have an active sex life, which includes lots of what we both want. doesn't mean bj or sex every day but we both try to be available for each other.

This, exactly this

Sounds very "Stepford" and shallow.

It's actually the opposite, but new wave feminism is quite a bit different than 1960s feminism.