Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BIL travels every week for sales and he definitely does not cheat on my sister. He is reasonably attractive and makes a lot of money so I am sure he gets approached all the time. He also is super personable and talks to everybody. But my sister is 16 years younger than him so he knows he got the good end of the deal in that relationship. She has had two kids and is still super in shape and attractive. Second she would scalp him and serve his balls to him if he ever cheated. She travels a lot as well (also in sales) and she never cheats.

PP here - my DH is in big law and travels sometimes but he doesn't cheat either. He has way to much Catholic guilt to be able to cheat. Plus we have an active sex life, when I am not pregnant, and I take care of everything for our house/3 kids so he isn't super stressed other than work.

So no not everybody who travels for work cheats. At least in my world.

How do you know? I mean, not to be a wet blanket, and you are probably right but its a little strange to say you know for sure what another does? I travel for work, although admittedly in an industry with lots of happy hours and dinners and schmoozing so there's that. And many of the men who I would have thought were the paragon of virtue have cheated. It's depressing to watch.

I wouldn't have married someone that travels. If we planned to have children their welfare comes first. That being said if I were a wife with a man that travels... regardless I would know exactly what he is doing while away. Mainly because I'm not going to be tied to a cheater, or have my health compromised because of a horrible person I married.

My husband spent years traveling and there were times during relo's when he'd be gone for two weeks at a time. I've never had a reason to suspect that he cheated given we have a great relationship and he has a very strong moral compass. When I read all of these stories about cheating it seems to come down to those two things - a strong relationship and moral compass. I know a lot of men who are like this so my husband isn't unique.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Did your husband cheat?

He left soon after we met, so no. He is just not that kind of person (Catholic guilt). Some of his former colleagues are extremely good looking and have really interesting assignments. He told me that they cheat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is common, because the men who travel for work tend to have means and an alpha personality, which got them to the point where they are professionally.

That somehow gives them a pass? Why about all those women who travel?

That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that the qualities that lend themselves to professional success may lend themselves to success with attracting people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My BIL travels every week for sales and he definitely does not cheat on my sister. He is reasonably attractive and makes a lot of money so I am sure he gets approached all the time. He also is super personable and talks to everybody. But my sister is 16 years younger than him so he knows he got the good end of the deal in that relationship. She has had two kids and is still super in shape and attractive. Second she would scalp him and serve his balls to him if he ever cheated. She travels a lot as well (also in sales) and she never cheats.

PP here - my DH is in big law and travels sometimes but he doesn't cheat either. He has way to much Catholic guilt to be able to cheat. Plus we have an active sex life, when I am not pregnant, and I take care of everything for our house/3 kids so he isn't super stressed other than work.

So no not everybody who travels for work cheats. At least in my world.

How do you know? I mean, not to be a wet blanket, and you are probably right but its a little strange to say you know for sure what another does? I travel for work, although admittedly in an industry with lots of happy hours and dinners and schmoozing so there's that. And many of the men who I would have thought were the paragon of virtue have cheated. It's depressing to watch.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Did your husband cheat?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are in sales, yes.

Add if in Finance, Law or the C-Suite

Also lots of cheating in Humanitarian Aid/Development. In retrospect, I can see it is a field where aid workers can be traumatized by tbeir work and self-soothe through sex, alcohol and drugs. Also, some get trauma-bonded to peers in the field and mistake that for “true love” or “soulmate”. And yet, some others have a truly predatory aspect to their cheating in the field - cheating with prostitutes, local staff, beneficiaries, or other locals who hope that a connection to a white, western man will improve their life.

As a woman it’s a kind of gross social atmosphere to work in.

My husband is a former USSS agent. He said they all cheat. All of them. So when we are together with friends whose husbands are agents, it's all i think about. She's clueless and he's happy as a clam interacting with his family.

Anonymous wrote:I think the poster who said that if a person cheats on travel, they'd do it at home is pretty spot on.

I've been married for a long time. My spouse and I love each other very much, have an agreement, and have hall passes. But I've honestly never used one. I just don't wanna.

If you love each other so much why on earth would you have hall passes?? Doesn't make sense, nor is it safe.

I travel often with two male colleagues and to my knowledge, neither of them cheat. They both have young kids at home, are tired and after a full day of work and networking dinners, they want to go stretch out on a bed, watch some sports and get a full night of sleep. I have never seen either of them flirt or anything. They both seem stressed / depressed / tired to me. One of them has a wife who texts / calls about every little issue at home and he seems completely worn down. The other guy is a pretty quiet introvert and running is his outlet, not women. I have no idea what their sex lives are like at home or even their marriages really but I highly doubt either have cheated.

I think the poster who said that if a person cheats on travel, they'd do it at home is pretty spot on.

I've been married for a long time. My spouse and I love each other very much, have an agreement, and have hall passes. But I've honestly never used one. I just don't wanna.

I have a very active libido and I like to think of my bedroom skills as being “active and adventurous.” If my husband was to cheat I think he would be very disappointed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Who are all these big law lawyers cheating on business travel? My last two work trips I was up until the wee hours of the morning working.

You must be on the transactional side. Hang with the litigators

Ew. I spend a lot of time with biglaw litigators and have never met one I would want to sleep with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the prior two posts pointed out when a couple has a good sex life that takes away a big reason for cheating. It is certainly not a guarantee by any means but it really improves the odds.

I agree with this. Then check out other threads where wives aren't interested in sex or intentionally withhold it...

+ 1 if the non interested in sex spouse is surprised that their spouse cheats they are fools. It’s not a question of if, it’s when.

Op, why aren't you focused on divorcing this b*stard? You're wasting valuable time