Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get so insulted at the "seek therapy" recommendations?

Honestly, finding a good therapist is a nice thing you can do for YOURSELF. It's an hour you get to spend with someone who mostly only cares about YOUR welfare and how YOU are doing, not your husband, not your kids, not your other family members, not your boss, etc. etc.

It's a form of self care, really.

Most of us moms are so busy running around caring for other people and putting ourselves last. As an adult it's unusual for other people to be like, "oh but how are YOU doing with everything?"

A therapist will do that for you though, make you take time for yourself.

I think because it is 2019 and everyone is already aware of the option of therapy. These are grownups. They know therapy exists.

Many of us a very frustrated with the repeated therapy suggestions because we aren’t mentally broken, we are in bad situations, drowning in responsibilities, and have little practical support. And no matter how often we explain that, we are still met with a never ending chorus of “Therapy, Therapy, Therapy!”

It makes us want to scream. It’s right up there with “Snack Tray!” And the “Welcome to Holland” Poem.

Yes, for all f*cks sake, we have heard it already!
I’ll repeat: WE HAVE HEARD IT ALREADY!

And some of us are livid at this pointt.


For many of us therapy is not an answer to lack of time, resources, or support. I personally could use a respite worker, a mom who gives a damn, a crisis hotline, an weekly visit with an Behavior therapist, Social Security retirement credits, an insurance program that pays at least for part of my kid’s therapies and pays for our legitimate medical claims instead of wasting dozens of hours of my time so I don’t get bilked out of a couple grand, a state waiver (been on a waiting list for four years), funds for a special needs attorney, and some time to go work out. A therapist isn’t going to help with any help of that.

Those things would actually help. Shelling out $120/week to cry in front of person who doesn’t even have a SN kid does NADA for me, except for the script I get for Xanax at the end. I wouldn’t need the Xanax if I had access to the above.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was actually going to start a separate thread about this topic (though I'm not divorced or considering it). Yes, in today's society that's built around nuclear families with dual-incomes, mom's get saddled with everything most of the time (I know there are exceptions). And we're supposed to love it and feel guilty about working instead of frustrated with the domestic duties we never really had as kids.

It's hard to be fun when you're exhausted all the time...and when a fun "family" outing often results in your getting the kids ready and then coralling them throughout the outing while their dad just gets to enjoy the kids' joy.

Since this is the SN forum, I'll also share that DS has SN (though they have turned out to be much milder than the original dx suggested...or rather on the mild end of the range of what it could have been). For the first year, finding and coordinating the right therapies and specialists was like a second job. And, in many ways, I think the early interventions might be part of why he didn't end up with more delays. But DH was so devastated at the initial news that he was paralyzed...and now he likes to act like I just overblew everything and all of the therapies etc were unnecessary. You simply can't win...either your work is essential and doesn't need acknowledging since it's your job as a mother, or your work is unnecessary and the result of silly "women" priorities.

What I don’t understand is why women are allowing this? Did you go on to have a second kid?

Simply sit down and make a list of everything that has to happen to run your household. Everything from scheduling cleaners to taking the dog to the vet. Then talk and write down who is responsible for each thing. Each spouse OWNS their responsibilities. You don’t schedule the vet for your husband if that is his responsibility.

If he refuses to do these things then don’t have more kids, consider divorce and/or stop doing all of these things for him. There may be some consequences from not handling everything but it will be worth it in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get so insulted at the "seek therapy" recommendations?

Honestly, finding a good therapist is a nice thing you can do for YOURSELF. It's an hour you get to spend with someone who mostly only cares about YOUR welfare and how YOU are doing, not your husband, not your kids, not your other family members, not your boss, etc. etc.

It's a form of self care, really.

Most of us moms are so busy running around caring for other people and putting ourselves last. As an adult it's unusual for other people to be like, "oh but how are YOU doing with everything?"

A therapist will do that for you though, make you take time for yourself.

I think because it is 2019 and everyone is already aware of the option of therapy. These are grownups. They know therapy exists.

Many of us a very frustrated with the repeated therapy suggestions because we aren’t mentally broken, we are in bad situations, drowning in responsibilities, and have little practical support. And no matter how often we explain that, we are still met with a never ending chorus of “Therapy, Therapy, Therapy!”

It makes us want to scream. It’s right up there with “Snack Tray!” And the “Welcome to Holland” Poem.

Yes, for all f*cks sake, we have heard it already!
I’ll repeat: WE HAVE HEARD IT ALREADY!

And some of us are livid at this pointt.


For many of us therapy is not an answer to lack of time, resources, or support. I personally could use a respite worker, a mom who gives a damn, a crisis hotline, an weekly visit with an Behavior therapist, Social Security retirement credits, an insurance program that pays at least for part of my kid’s therapies and pays for our legitimate medical claims instead of wasting dozens of hours of my time so I don’t get bilked out of a couple grand, a state waiver (been on a waiting list for four years), funds for a special needs attorney, and some time to go work out. A therapist isn’t going to help with any help of that.

Those things would actually help. Shelling out $120/week to cry in front of person who doesn’t even have a SN kid does NADA for me, except for the script I get for Xanax at the end. I wouldn’t need the Xanax if I had access to the above.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are welcome. I did report them. It’s okay if you don’t know what to say. Just saying you don’t know what is wrong and feel overwhelmed is enough to start with. Chances are they will know how you feel.

You reported someone providing a solution to OP’s problem? She needs to discuss this with her DH and actually make changes in her life.

I reported the person who said “Get back to work.” Jeff thought it was appropriate to delete.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get so insulted at the "seek therapy" recommendations?

Honestly, finding a good therapist is a nice thing you can do for YOURSELF. It's an hour you get to spend with someone who mostly only cares about YOUR welfare and how YOU are doing, not your husband, not your kids, not your other family members, not your boss, etc. etc.

It's a form of self care, really.

Most of us moms are so busy running around caring for other people and putting ourselves last. As an adult it's unusual for other people to be like, "oh but how are YOU doing with everything?"

A therapist will do that for you though, make you take time for yourself.

I think because it is 2019 and everyone is already aware of the option of therapy. These are grownups. They know therapy exists.

Many of us a very frustrated with the repeated therapy suggestions because we aren’t mentally broken, we are in bad situations, drowning in responsibilities, and have little practical support. And no matter how often we explain that, we are still met with a never ending chorus of “Therapy, Therapy, Therapy!”

It makes us want to scream. It’s right up there with “Snack Tray!” And the “Welcome to Holland” Poem.

Yes, for all f*cks sake, we have heard it already!
I’ll repeat: WE HAVE HEARD IT ALREADY!

And some of us are livid at this pointt.


For many of us therapy is not an answer to lack of time, resources, or support. I personally could use a respite worker, a mom who gives a damn, a crisis hotline, an weekly visit with an Behavior therapist, Social Security retirement credits, an insurance program that pays at least for part of my kid’s therapies and pays for our legitimate medical claims instead of wasting dozens of hours of my time so I don’t get bilked out of a couple grand, a state waiver (been on a waiting list for four years), funds for a special needs attorney, and some time to go work out. A therapist isn’t going to help with any help of that.

Those things would actually help. Shelling out $120/week to cry in front of person who doesn’t even have a SN kid does NADA for me, except for the script I get for Xanax at the end. I wouldn’t need the Xanax if I had access to the above.

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get so insulted at the "seek therapy" recommendations?

Honestly, finding a good therapist is a nice thing you can do for YOURSELF. It's an hour you get to spend with someone who mostly only cares about YOUR welfare and how YOU are doing, not your husband, not your kids, not your other family members, not your boss, etc. etc.

It's a form of self care, really.

Most of us moms are so busy running around caring for other people and putting ourselves last. As an adult it's unusual for other people to be like, "oh but how are YOU doing with everything?"

A therapist will do that for you though, make you take time for yourself.