Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot of crazy parents on this thread...

And then there's you, a childless spinster troll. Get a life.

Very mature, launch personal insults at people who hold a different viewpoint.

(Maybe if you did not drink so much in college, you would be more skilled at engaging in civil discourse . )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t track my kid in high school and surely won’t start now. Same with their bank acct.

Just because they are in touch doesn’t mean they aren’t partying. You have to let go.

Said the parent who won't be up a creek if their kid wastes thousands upon thousands of dollars when they get kicked out from poor grades due to too much partying. College is the most expensive thing that most people will ever pay for. I can't blame them for wanting to know what is going on with their kid.

College kids party multiple times a week (ie more than a normal adult would consider reasonable). The vast majority do not get kicked out for bad grade. Why the assumption that if your kid picks up a beer that the worse will happen.

Exactly. Did any of you actually go to college?

I drank starting when I was 19 (and I didn't tell my parents, so those of you who claim your kids aren't drinking until they're 21 shouldn't be so naïve). My friends and I worked at the radio station and we were known for throwing kick ass dance parties that lasted all night and had themes like hot pants and 40s.

I still graduated with a 3.85 (magna cum laude) and won multiple academic awards.

Partying isn't necessarily this horrible thing that will lead to your kid failing out and getting his/her stomach pumped every weekend. Calm down.

Yes, I did -- when it was about $5,000 a year. Now cost of attendance is $30,000 to $70,000 per year and most kids are taking five years to finish. And now that everyone goes and it's a global economy, gentlemen Cs in a Mickey Mouse major isn't cutting it.

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot of crazy parents on this thread...

And then there's you, a childless spinster troll. Get a life.

I think I drank twice before I was 21. I don't expect my college freshman to follow in my footsteps. I didn't abstain because it was illegal - I just don't particularly like drinking and still don't. DH drank like a fish in college. We ended up in the same place.

My freshman DS seems to be going out on Friday and Saturday nights, working hard during the week and the rest of the weekend, and not drinking to excess (based on the number of comments he's made about other guys basically destroying the men's room on the weekends). He has called 911 for a fellow freshman with alcohol poisoning and he's probably not looking to have someone do the same for him.

Anonymous wrote:I think it was just such talks that convinced my kid she wanted not part of that aspect of undergrad partying.

Notice that one of the risk factors for drinking in college is your parent's attitude towards drinking in college.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3908712/

It is also much more common on some campuses than others, so don't think one size experience fits all.

+1

Yes, I went to college, and yes, I drank. I can count on one hand the number of times I got drunk during the four years of college, however.

There are many college students who drink very little, or not at all.

So many parents on here with kids who are nerdy non-partiers, born to moms who have nary a winkle in sight and pass as 25 year olds. Strange times we live in.

There’s a lot of crazy parents on this thread...

I think it was just such talks that convinced my kid she wanted not part of that aspect of undergrad partying.

Notice that one of the risk factors for drinking in college is your parent's attitude towards drinking in college.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3908712/

It is also much more common on some campuses than others, so don't think one size experience fits all.

Anonymous wrote:I know because my kid was sad for her first few weeks of school because she could not find other kids who did not drink. Now she has. Every weekend they go to the school’s alternative weekend activities (like laser tag). She picked a school, in part , on whether kids who did not drink were pressured vs accepted.

Obviously a lot of people here think underage drinking is normal and fine. I can see why you think everyone does it, and why your kids are in that group.

Legal? No. Normal? Yes. It is normal. I don’t drink at all, never have. My kid is a partying freshman. Do you think he’d be doing this any different if I forbade it? Nope. I just wouldn’t hear about it. If you assume your kids aren’t drinking, when do you have conversations about avoiding the punch, not leaving a drunk friend alone, what to do if someone is vomiting, when to call EMS, reminding girls to never accept a drink that isn’t sealed and keep their drinks covered, etc. I hope that even those of you who think or know your kids aren’t drinking are absolutely positive your kids know how to be safe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well my niece is having a great freshman year at UVA. How do I know? Instagram! The party pictures are there...

How dumb can she be? My friend's daughter was kicked out for underage drinking. Both found on IG. First one was a write up thru the RA. The second was the school dean and a panel. She was stripped of her merit scholarship.

Not sure that happens anymore. My dd attends a northern SLAC. Everyone is drinking and everyone is posting about it.

Anonymous wrote:DD is a recruited athlete and has to be up for practice at 5 or 6 am 6 days a week. This early rising is not different than her high school routine (now she walks instead of driving). A positive externality of her commitment to her sport it that it keeps partying to a minimum but I am not under the illusion that she doesnt party/drink at all.

I was a recruited D1 athlete and let me tell you partying was NOT kept to a minimum. Whatsoever.

What school?

Anonymous wrote:Well my niece is having a great freshman year at UVA. How do I know? Instagram! The party pictures are there...

How dumb can she be? My friend's daughter was kicked out for underage drinking. Both found on IG. First one was a write up thru the RA. The second was the school dean and a panel. She was stripped of her merit scholarship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK how is it that all these parents on here are so sure their kids aren't partying? Judging from my friends' parents and my own parents' ideas of how we spent our time, I've concluded that parents don't know the half of what goes on. A friend of mind found out her DC was partying and experimenting way more than she thought. Not that that's a bad thing. I just think it's strange that so many on here are so certain they know.

It’s not so much partying I’m worried about — it’s partying effecting class attendance and studying (ergo grades). idk what my kid does in their dorm complex, but I can see if he leaves for class in the morning and if he’s ever in campus libraries.

I just can’t imagine tracking my college students (I have 2 - freshmen and junior). The apron strings need to be cut. If their grades suck, then address it and pull the $ if warranted. Otherwise quit the micromanaging. I am so worried how these kids will ever make it in the real world with this overwhelming involvement.

If the grades suck you have proof of why. Kids lie, you know. "But mom, I don't know what happened, I don't party, I go to every lecture, I'm in the library all weekend." Well, actually...

H E L I C O P T E R of actual adults over 18yrs old??? Lady, you need help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t track my kid in high school and surely won’t start now. Same with their bank acct.

Just because they are in touch doesn’t mean they aren’t partying. You have to let go.

Said the parent who won't be up a creek if their kid wastes thousands upon thousands of dollars when they get kicked out from poor grades due to too much partying. College is the most expensive thing that most people will ever pay for. I can't blame them for wanting to know what is going on with their kid.

College kids party multiple times a week (ie more than a normal adult would consider reasonable). The vast majority do not get kicked out for bad grade. Why the assumption that if your kid picks up a beer that the worse will happen.

Exactly. Did any of you actually go to college?

I drank starting when I was 19 (and I didn't tell my parents, so those of you who claim your kids aren't drinking until they're 21 shouldn't be so naïve). My friends and I worked at the radio station and we were known for throwing kick ass dance parties that lasted all night and had themes like hot pants and 40s.

I still graduated with a 3.85 (magna cum laude) and won multiple academic awards.

Partying isn't necessarily this horrible thing that will lead to your kid failing out and getting his/her stomach pumped every weekend. Calm down.