Anonymous
09/15/2019 11:28
Subject: Re:WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
no one knows if this has been brought to admin attention. I don’t even think OP clarified whether public or private school.Anonymous wrote:The schools have zero tolerance for this behavior. It is schocking the no one else has brought this to admin attention. It seems as though this has been going on for some time and others feel threatened as well. Someone needs to speak up. If not, it will continue and will get worse.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 11:02
Subject: Re:WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
The schools have zero tolerance for this behavior. It is schocking the no one else has brought this to admin attention. It seems as though this has been going on for some time and others feel threatened as well. Someone needs to speak up. If not, it will continue and will get worse.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 10:08
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You tell your DD you are filing a police report and then do it. Inform the school second.
Your DD is too good to be treated this way.
What illegal act was done?
Harassment in person and on social media and threatening behavior. Can you not read?
It is actually not against the law to ask someone out for a week or to insult them if they say no.
+1
I think OP should talk to the boy's parents. They are the ones with the power to take away his phone/internet access.
If it still doesn't stop, then go to the school. If it is a private school, they can kick the boy out.
The police are not going to get involved with this.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 09:22
Subject: Re:WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
OP any updates?
Anonymous
09/15/2019 09:13
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't even think it makes the boy a rotten kid... it sounds like he is just insecure and very immature, and maybe has generally poor social skills. (If he doesn't understand why staring at girls and pestering them after they have said no is not a great way to win friends and influence people...)
But it's one thing to do this as a kid and another to keep doing it as an adult. If no one calls him on it and tries to get him to understand why this is not the right way to handle it when he likes a girl and gets rejected, he will definitely keep doing it.
Absolutely not!
In middle school, it’s excusable, in high school it’s not.
I have boys, I’ve seen boys get in trouble about that in middle school because they were clueless, not nasty. Once they reach high school, any normal boy KNOWS he cannot act this way. Unless he’s a psychopath.
This is serious, OP.
It's not excusable in middle school either (or in elementary). I was a school counselor and would have ABSOLUTELY have wanted to know if one of my students was experiencing this OR if one was acting this way. No matter the age boys have to be taught what's acceptable (and experience consequences if harassing and bullying behavior continues). No exceptions. Poor social skills? Not an excuse. Immature? Not an excuse. Anyone can learn to to treat a person with respect, if they chose not to then alternative measures should be in place.
OP, if it were my daughter this is what I would do:
-Both you and DD write down everything you remember with as much detail as you can (you may each forget bits so it's good that you both do this) Location, times, frequency and language/gestures used
-Explain to DD that that if this situation is not dealt with head on, this boy's behavior will not stop (with her or others)
-Find a therapist for DD ASAP (your school counselor should be able to provide you with recommendations)
-Screen shot ALL future communication (even if it is not deemed threatening in the moment)
-Request a meeting with the school counselor and the head of the division (or head of school depending on who you consider an ally). Both parents or you and a relative should attend. It's often best to have someone else there for you.
-Fully document this meeting and be specific with your requests, i.e.- DD not in same class for the remainder of time in school (DD should NOT be the one moved), school should contact the parents, etc..
-Schedule a follow up meeting before you leave that meeting (all involved should feel the urgency).
Best of luck to you both. This really stinks.
How do you do all this with a noncompliant daughter?
Anonymous
09/15/2019 09:08
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Talk to your teen about why she thinks this kid keeps getting away with crap.
Private schools are notorious for hiding things. If he truly is being allowed to behave this way despite a known set of actions, there is a reason. Possibly an ugly one.
Private schools are notorious for hiding things. If he truly is being allowed to behave this way despite a known set of actions, there is a reason. Possibly an ugly one.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 08:07
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
I’d talk to the school about this. My daughter’s friend had a similar issue with a boy, and it didn’t get reported. The boy started telling everyone the girl was a slut, and it caused her a great deal of stress. She ended up leaving the school, and of course, he did the same thing to someone else.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 07:32
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You tell your DD you are filing a police report and then do it. Inform the school second.
Your DD is too good to be treated this way.
What illegal act was done?
Harassment in person and on social media and threatening behavior. Can you not read?
It is actually not against the law to ask someone out for a week or to insult them if they say no.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 07:27
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
You need to report this to the school AND the police.
This kid has the potential for violence. Every school shooter and terrorist has domestic violence or abuse of women in his background.
This kid has the potential for violence. Every school shooter and terrorist has domestic violence or abuse of women in his background.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 06:16
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Going to the parents is a terrible idea. Don't do that.
Please talk to the school.
Please talk to the school.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 04:16
Subject: Re:WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
This boy is known as a creep. His behavior might escalate if not with DD, with another girl. Please take action.
Anonymous
09/14/2019 19:41
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:That's what dad's are for.
Ugh. Please.
Anonymous
09/14/2019 19:26
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Not to freak you out OP, but a friend of mine went through a very similar situation when we were in high school, and the guy has stalked her since then, relentlessly. We are now 38. It has impacted every aspect of her life, the guy has been in jail over threats to her, etc etc. I would go nuclear on this kid, now. Maybe if someone takes it seriously and intervenes now, there is hope.
Anonymous
09/11/2019 18:46
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You tell your DD you are filing a police report and then do it. Inform the school second.
Your DD is too good to be treated this way.
What illegal act was done?
Harassment in person and on social media and threatening behavior. Can you not read?
Anonymous
09/11/2019 13:26
Subject: WWYD - DD being sexually harassed by boy in school but doesn't want to report it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't even think it makes the boy a rotten kid... it sounds like he is just insecure and very immature, and maybe has generally poor social skills. (If he doesn't understand why staring at girls and pestering them after they have said no is not a great way to win friends and influence people...)
But it's one thing to do this as a kid and another to keep doing it as an adult. If no one calls him on it and tries to get him to understand why this is not the right way to handle it when he likes a girl and gets rejected, he will definitely keep doing it.
Absolutely not!
In middle school, it’s excusable, in high school it’s not.
I have boys, I’ve seen boys get in trouble about that in middle school because they were clueless, not nasty. Once they reach high school, any normal boy KNOWS he cannot act this way. Unless he’s a psychopath.
This is serious, OP.
It's not excusable in middle school either (or in elementary). I was a school counselor and would have ABSOLUTELY have wanted to know if one of my students was experiencing this OR if one was acting this way. No matter the age boys have to be taught what's acceptable (and experience consequences if harassing and bullying behavior continues). No exceptions. Poor social skills? Not an excuse. Immature? Not an excuse. Anyone can learn to to treat a person with respect, if they chose not to then alternative measures should be in place.
OP, if it were my daughter this is what I would do:
-Both you and DD write down everything you remember with as much detail as you can (you may each forget bits so it's good that you both do this) Location, times, frequency and language/gestures used
-Explain to DD that that if this situation is not dealt with head on, this boy's behavior will not stop (with her or others)
-Find a therapist for DD ASAP (your school counselor should be able to provide you with recommendations)
-Screen shot ALL future communication (even if it is not deemed threatening in the moment)
-Request a meeting with the school counselor and the head of the division (or head of school depending on who you consider an ally). Both parents or you and a relative should attend. It's often best to have someone else there for you.
-Fully document this meeting and be specific with your requests, i.e.- DD not in same class for the remainder of time in school (DD should NOT be the one moved), school should contact the parents, etc..
-Schedule a follow up meeting before you leave that meeting (all involved should feel the urgency).
Best of luck to you both. This really stinks.
PP you quoted. I meant that early adolescence is the time to explain and train boys (and more rarely girls) not do harass others. They are at the hormonal stage where otherwise normal kids might feel such impulses, while still being young enough not to think through consequences of their actions. Of course it should be taken seriously.
In contrast, high schoolers should already know not to do this, and the consequences to behaving this way should be far more severe, since they are statistically more likely to carry threats through and become violent. Also, the older teens or young adults who continue to act this way despite efforts at training and discipline are in their immense majority, students with disturbing mental health disorders who need serious psychiatric care.