Anonymous wrote:OP, why are you prioritizing feelings of the parents of the girl who is not even invited to your child’s birthday party over the feelings of your parents? You are going to have THOUSANDS of “friends” through your child’s school, activities, and colleges. You have only one set of parents. No matter how crazy they are, just appreciate that they are around.

Look everyone! It’s “family first” lady!

OP, why are you prioritizing feelings of the parents of the girl who is not even invited to your child’s birthday party over the feelings of your parents? You are going to have THOUSANDS of “friends” through your child’s school, activities, and colleges. You have only one set of parents. No matter how crazy they are, just appreciate that they are around.

Boundaries are your friend.

Anonymous wrote:My mom and stepfather are racist. They come to events for my kids and stare and make loud comments. We live in a diverse area. They are no longer invited. In your case, allow them to come to one game a season. Excessive for them to come to each game.

My inlaws still use terms like "colored" in everyday conversation like it's no big deal.

Could you get your DH/DW to help? I'm sure s/he'd be willing to "take one for the team." It's much harder to act like a parent to your own parents than to your in-laws.

Also, just imagine what would actually happen when you confronted them. In the moment it could be terrifying, but this dynamic needs to change. Think how they would react immediately, but also long-term. For me, when I though through that, I was less scared of standing up to them b/c I'd already thought out their reaction in my head. They're b*tchy and pouting, but so what? You have other supports now, and you will be okay without them if it comes to that.

My parents do this exact same thing. They can come to games but I no longer sit with them.

Why are you making so many excuses? Your kids can have a relationship with their grandparents without them having to come to every sporting event. In fact, I think that’s weird that they go to all the games. Have family bday parties when grandparents come for dinner and cake on the actual birthday, go to the movies, go on walks, go to museums or zoo or classes or sleepovers. Most grandparents aren’t hanging out around their children’s or grandchildren’s friends on a weekly basis. Get a backbone. Your husband hates this about you.