Thank you for the update OP. Don't listen to downers, you are strong and you will be fine no matter what you decide. Life is messy, life happens, and at your age you probably know this. I have every faith that you will be fine no matter what you decide. We are all human and I admire you for being a person, regular, with a life and problems. So, you live life, why is that a crime for women? Do you have parents that can help? Friends that can help? I wish you the best!

You’re 43 and have never worked. Really no advice here, just judgement.

OP here, thank you for all your advice. No, I'm not the PP who is afraid to get a formal agreement, just FYI. I have an appt. with a dr in two weeks, that was the earliest they could get me in. I would love to give my DS a sibling and this is my last chance, but I realize my financial situation is dim so that is my hesitation. It sounds like the people on here who've had an abortion don't regret it, which is a good thing to know. Thanks everyone

Odds of miscarriage are high. Schedule an appointment with your OB at 6 weeks or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had an abortion and how did it affect you? I'm pro-choice but now that it comes down to me making the decision, I'm scared of how that will affect me.

I had one when ds was about 1.5 years old. Birth control fail. I did not want a second for various reasons. DH was happy with 1 but would have respected whatever I chose. It has not affected me at all. I didn't mourn, I wasn't sad, I don't think about it. I'm thankful we live in a country where that option is available in a safe and secure environment.

This seems callous and disingenuous. You don’t even think about it? I have never met one person who has had one and never thinks about it.

Coincidently enough I just had this conversation with my sister. She had an abortion when her daughter was 8 WEEKS old. Now has an 8 and 5 year old. I asked her if she ever thinks about it or feel sad about it and she says it did not affect her at all and she doesn’t think about it. She did what was best for her family and her at the time

OP are you the same person who is afraid to rock the boat with STBX by asking for a formal agreement? If so, girl you have enough problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a CF!

I would get an abortion. No way am I dealing with two baby daddies. Not to mention a pregnancy will not make you look very favorable when you are trying to get spousal support. Your STBX is likely going to be pissed, and not want to support another man’s child.

How badly do you want the divorce. If I wanted to keep your current fetus, I’d seduce STBX and tell him child is his and get back together with him. That kid is his anyway in the eyes of the law. Get back to work immediately. You can divorce him a couple of years down the road when the kids are school-aged and you are more financially secure.

That's disgusting!

That really is awful. Plus the other guy knows that this is his baby.

Just being realistic. She is 43 and never worked. STBX is willing to pay spousal support her for three years right now. Once he finds out she is pregnant with another man’s child that is not going to happen.

You’re an embarrassment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a CF!

I would get an abortion. No way am I dealing with two baby daddies. Not to mention a pregnancy will not make you look very favorable when you are trying to get spousal support. Your STBX is likely going to be pissed, and not want to support another man’s child.

How badly do you want the divorce. If I wanted to keep your current fetus, I’d seduce STBX and tell him child is his and get back together with him. That kid is his anyway in the eyes of the law. Get back to work immediately. You can divorce him a couple of years down the road when the kids are school-aged and you are more financially secure.

That's disgusting!

That really is awful. Plus the other guy knows that this is his baby.

Just being realistic. She is 43 and never worked. STBX is willing to pay spousal support her for three years right now. Once he finds out she is pregnant with another man’s child that is not going to happen.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had an abortion and how did it affect you? I'm pro-choice but now that it comes down to me making the decision, I'm scared of how that will affect me.

I had one. I regret the circumstances that led to it, but not the abortion itself. It was also at the 3-month point in the relationship. I did therapy to deal with the trauma of the relationship and it also helped me address whatever feelings I had about the abortion.

That said, I am now a single parent and it's tough financially, but wonderful in every other way. You can definitely do it, but you have to get yourself employed. I would not have had a child if I were in a precarious financial situation even if I had family around willing to help (which I don't).

Definitely do not move in with the boyfriend. If you decide to have the baby, co-parent from separate homes so you can see how your relationship progresses without the dependency of a live-in situation. This will also allow you to suss out what kind of parent he is without placing your 3 yr old at risk. You call yourself single in your heading, start thinking like a single woman who is considering having a child. Approach this as if you and the baby will have no one to depend on but you. Do not expect that you will have help from the BF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a CF!

I would get an abortion. No way am I dealing with two baby daddies. Not to mention a pregnancy will not make you look very favorable when you are trying to get spousal support. Your STBX is likely going to be pissed, and not want to support another man’s child.

How badly do you want the divorce. If I wanted to keep your current fetus, I’d seduce STBX and tell him child is his and get back together with him. That kid is his anyway in the eyes of the law. Get back to work immediately. You can divorce him a couple of years down the road when the kids are school-aged and you are more financially secure.

That's disgusting!

That really is awful. Plus the other guy knows that this is his baby.

Anonymous wrote:What a CF!

I would get an abortion. No way am I dealing with two baby daddies. Not to mention a pregnancy will not make you look very favorable when you are trying to get spousal support. Your STBX is likely going to be pissed, and not want to support another man’s child.

How badly do you want the divorce. If I wanted to keep your current fetus, I’d seduce STBX and tell him child is his and get back together with him. That kid is his anyway in the eyes of the law. Get back to work immediately. You can divorce him a couple of years down the road when the kids are school-aged and you are more financially secure.

That's disgusting!

What a CF!

I would get an abortion. No way am I dealing with two baby daddies. Not to mention a pregnancy will not make you look very favorable when you are trying to get spousal support. Your STBX is likely going to be pissed, and not want to support another man’s child.

How badly do you want the divorce. If I wanted to keep your current fetus, I’d seduce STBX and tell him child is his and get back together with him. That kid is his anyway in the eyes of the law. Get back to work immediately. You can divorce him a couple of years down the road when the kids are school-aged and you are more financially secure.

It's still very early, and at 43 you might have more risks than when you were younger.

Good grief that is A LOT of change for your existing child. In your shoes I would take the abortion pill and get on birth control and be much more careful in the future.

Your first obligation is to your child already in your care. Not an embryo, not some guy you just met.

You have no money for this. Money counts. Money is safety, education, health.

Think of your 3 year old.