DCUM Forum

Anonymous

08/23/2019 21:38 Subject: Re:Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:It’s awful they care so much about you. Just terrible.

This. This board never ceases to amaze me. Some people’s family members can’t do anything right; the person is determined to find fault.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 21:37 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:I agree that this is suffocating, but they most likely suffer from anxiety, so I would comply but have fun with it. Text “dead in ditch” or “abducted by serial killers” when you arrive home. ?

Stealing this!

Anonymous

08/23/2019 21:26 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

My mom has never asked me to do this and I don't ask her to. My MIL asks us to do this every time we take a long trip. It is annoying but I now do it out of habit for long trips. When she asks for updates for the regular, consistent 45 minute drive home? That I encourage DH to forget to send.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 21:20 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

I agree that this is suffocating, but they most likely suffer from anxiety, so I would comply but have fun with it. Text “dead in ditch” or “abducted by serial killers” when you arrive home. ?

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:54 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

I can see how people think this is nice and comforting, etc. But when you think about it, it's a little odd. Do you text your family members whenever you drive anywhere to let them know you got there safe? If you're on a trip, for example, do you text your parents whenever you go from point a to point b?

Not knocking the "text me when you get home" thing, just curious about why you'd do it for one trip but not another.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:47 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

I do this with my cousin and aunt, who live an hour away. They are my only family and I appreciate their concern, and I like to know they got home safely. My best friend and I did this too- he lived 45 minutes away. We would text when we got home, just to make sure. I don't mind it at all.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:41 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

My parents always ask me to text I am home safe and I always tell them I will if I remember! I forget about 50% of the time.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:25 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

There’s a big group chat with my siblings, parents and aunt. Everyone sends a quick text when they get home from a visit. We live a plane ride or long drive away. It annoyed me that they wanted us to check in when I was in my 20s but I find it comforting now that I’m in my 40s. No one does this if they travel for work but always from these visiting each other or family vacation type trips. We are all grown with our own families.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:21 Subject: Re:Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

My entire family texts to let each other know that we have arrived safely. One thing that I do with DH and my 2 DC's is that we enable the "Location Sharing" feature for the family. That way we know where we are. Especially useful for my HS aged DC who has a long bus drive. Every so often, they have a substitute bus driver who loses his way.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:19 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:DH and I recently vacationed with my sibling, about a two-hour drive away. Both my mom and MIL asked me to text when I arrived, so they would know. When we left at the end of our visit, my sibling asked me to text when I got home. I am 40. I was traveling with DH during the day, not alone or at night.

I usually ignore this kind of stuff but the multiple requests (and one follow-up when I didn't actually text) really shone a light on it. Is there a better way to handle this?

My entire family does this. I just send the text. They do it out of love. As others have said, you may actually miss it when they are gone. If it truly bothers you that much then explain it at the next family gathering and let them know you won't participate.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:18 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Yes, we all do this in my family.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 20:16 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:I think when you agree to do this you add to their anxiety and paranoia. I would refuse.

You are quite cruel and selfish. They are not asking for you to call and give a long talk about your trip. They are asking for a text. That is all.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 15:41 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:Op, I think you say, at the time, "I'm not going to do that. I love you, Mom!"

Do that 2x and they aren't going to ask again.

Why not add "...but I couldn't care less if you are worrying about me and maybe can't get to sleep because of it."

I'm really sorry, actually, that your Mom cares about you but you don't really care about her.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 15:40 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:I recently went on a cross-country trip. At a certain point, I left my family (brother, SIL, niece, mom and dad) and went to the airport and flew home. I got home at 1am.

As I unpacked, I realized nobody had asked if I got home safe. Nobody would have known if the Uber driver kidnapped or killed me. Nobody cared.

It's different if you're unmarried. I always check in on DH and he checks in on me. I do not need my anxious parents worrying about me. I will say that when I was 3rd tri pregnant and alone, my parents did check in on me daily. Otherwise, I shut that down.

Anonymous

08/23/2019 15:36 Subject: Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

Anonymous wrote:Op, I think you say, at the time, "I'm not going to do that. I love you, Mom!"

Do that 2x and they aren't going to ask again.

Why on earth would you do that? You should be grateful! You are the worst.