Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 21:18     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
My turn!! Just spent almost two weeks at a beach house with my ILs and need some serious detox time.

FIL considers himself to be a gourmet chef and at best his food is inedible, at worst you’re in the bathroom for hours after a meal. He will not let anyone else in the kitchen and insists on cooking every meal. He comes up with recipes on his own and everything is just vile. My MIL does not cook at all and compliments him non-stop on his food. Everything is either over cooked or undercooked, half the time you have no clue what you’re eating.

The best part was when my 7 year old tried a bite of some “chicken” and literally gagged/threw up at the table and stated that it was gross. DH was embarrassed but I am happy someone spoke the truth!
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 21:01     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
My MIL spattered hot oil on my 11 day old because she couldn’t let someone else hold her while she was cooking Easter dinner. If I had known I would have stopped her but who really expects that someone will hold a baby while frying onions?
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 20:21     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, how were the rooms allocated?
I love analysis of room grandeur and pecking order of guests. From the sister hog who grabs the best room to the precious couple with the baby who needs it but blocks off the balcony and insists on quiet in the kitchen next door. To the single person on the couch every trip.

Any new build beach houses need to have all identical en suites. Haven't they figured this out yet?


Main house with huge en-suite master and 2 extra bedrooms and bath given to favored BIL and his 2 kids. Dank cabin with 1 bathroom (overun with insects) given to remaining 5 adults (including 2 elderly with frequent bathroom visits) and 1 kid. And they wondered why we cut our visit short by 3 days ...


This is awful. Why did two kids each get their own room in the main house? Maybe you put the elderly out in the cabin, the kids all in a room in the main house, the other two adults in the other room and the straggler adult on a couch.



I have no idea. I was not in the position to allocate the rooms; in part because I just figured it would be done in a more rational way ... I think it was one of those situations where the person in charge is a people-pleaser in a way that ends up badly.


Was the person in charge o e of the old folk s that ended out in the cabin ?
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 14:59     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ILs are nice and we get along, but they are hoverers/pouncers. They are literally on top of us all the time during visits, to the point where I've accidentally stepped on my MIL's foot when I was emptying the dishwasher and she was right.there.

The last time we went to the beach with them, I was low-key complaining about it to my husband, who was like, "Eh, they're not THAT ba--AUGH!"

He stopped becasue we were driving at night, approaching the beach house, making the turn into the driveway, and his parents were standing there in pitch-black, their eyes and glasses reflecting in the light. It was like a freaking horror movie. We started dying laughing and my husband was like, "Yeah...they're weird."


Did it ever occur to you that they were just waiting to greet you and make you feel welcome? My family does this all the time. It is considered good manners. Apparently, you need some lessons in how to make guests feel welcome!


Standing in the driveway waiting is not good manners; it’s hovering.


Plus in the dark..it’s borderline stalker...
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 12:51     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, how were the rooms allocated?
I love analysis of room grandeur and pecking order of guests. From the sister hog who grabs the best room to the precious couple with the baby who needs it but blocks off the balcony and insists on quiet in the kitchen next door. To the single person on the couch every trip.

Any new build beach houses need to have all identical en suites. Haven't they figured this out yet?


Main house with huge en-suite master and 2 extra bedrooms and bath given to favored BIL and his 2 kids. Dank cabin with 1 bathroom (overun with insects) given to remaining 5 adults (including 2 elderly with frequent bathroom visits) and 1 kid. And they wondered why we cut our visit short by 3 days ...


This is awful. Why did two kids each get their own room in the main house? Maybe you put the elderly out in the cabin, the kids all in a room in the main house, the other two adults in the other room and the straggler adult on a couch.



I have no idea. I was not in the position to allocate the rooms; in part because I just figured it would be done in a more rational way ... I think it was one of those situations where the person in charge is a people-pleaser in a way that ends up badly.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 12:50     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ILs are nice and we get along, but they are hoverers/pouncers. They are literally on top of us all the time during visits, to the point where I've accidentally stepped on my MIL's foot when I was emptying the dishwasher and she was right.there.

The last time we went to the beach with them, I was low-key complaining about it to my husband, who was like, "Eh, they're not THAT ba--AUGH!"

He stopped becasue we were driving at night, approaching the beach house, making the turn into the driveway, and his parents were standing there in pitch-black, their eyes and glasses reflecting in the light. It was like a freaking horror movie. We started dying laughing and my husband was like, "Yeah...they're weird."


Did it ever occur to you that they were just waiting to greet you and make you feel welcome? My family does this all the time. It is considered good manners. Apparently, you need some lessons in how to make guests feel welcome!


No, I have literally never heard of it, and would find it totally bizarre. So you just stand there around the time you think family might be arriving?
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 12:48     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ILs are nice and we get along, but they are hoverers/pouncers. They are literally on top of us all the time during visits, to the point where I've accidentally stepped on my MIL's foot when I was emptying the dishwasher and she was right.there.

The last time we went to the beach with them, I was low-key complaining about it to my husband, who was like, "Eh, they're not THAT ba--AUGH!"

He stopped becasue we were driving at night, approaching the beach house, making the turn into the driveway, and his parents were standing there in pitch-black, their eyes and glasses reflecting in the light. It was like a freaking horror movie. We started dying laughing and my husband was like, "Yeah...they're weird."


Did it ever occur to you that they were just waiting to greet you and make you feel welcome? My family does this all the time. It is considered good manners. Apparently, you need some lessons in how to make guests feel welcome!


Standing in the driveway waiting is not good manners; it’s hovering.
Anonymous
Post 08/26/2019 12:15     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:My ILs are nice and we get along, but they are hoverers/pouncers. They are literally on top of us all the time during visits, to the point where I've accidentally stepped on my MIL's foot when I was emptying the dishwasher and she was right.there.

The last time we went to the beach with them, I was low-key complaining about it to my husband, who was like, "Eh, they're not THAT ba--AUGH!"

He stopped becasue we were driving at night, approaching the beach house, making the turn into the driveway, and his parents were standing there in pitch-black, their eyes and glasses reflecting in the light. It was like a freaking horror movie. We started dying laughing and my husband was like, "Yeah...they're weird."


Did it ever occur to you that they were just waiting to greet you and make you feel welcome? My family does this all the time. It is considered good manners. Apparently, you need some lessons in how to make guests feel welcome!
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 22:44     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, how were the rooms allocated?
I love analysis of room grandeur and pecking order of guests. From the sister hog who grabs the best room to the precious couple with the baby who needs it but blocks off the balcony and insists on quiet in the kitchen next door. To the single person on the couch every trip.

Any new build beach houses need to have all identical en suites. Haven't they figured this out yet?


Main house with huge en-suite master and 2 extra bedrooms and bath given to favored BIL and his 2 kids. Dank cabin with 1 bathroom (overun with insects) given to remaining 5 adults (including 2 elderly with frequent bathroom visits) and 1 kid. And they wondered why we cut our visit short by 3 days ...


This is awful. Why did two kids each get their own room in the main house? Maybe you put the elderly out in the cabin, the kids all in a room in the main house, the other two adults in the other room and the straggler adult on a couch.

Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 16:37     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Bil and spouse are really very nice and generous. Bil has told us several times over the past 2years that we should invite our friends out to their beach house. We did. They said "that weekend is perfect. We'll be in Italy. Here's the security code etc"" . So we invite a couple families and single friends, designate bedrooms, plan meals. We arrive Friday evening, and on Saturday morning, bil and sil arrive with three of their adult children and a grandchild. We had to redistribute the sleeping arrangements, so that our group got the crappy end of the deal. They said they'd cancelled their trip weeks earlier. But during those weeks, sil had been in contact with me regarding the house so it's not that they forgot we'd be there. Of course, what can we say? We get along with them, the entire group did have fun in the end, but it was just awkward because dh didn't want to come out and say to his brother "hey, we invited our friends here, per your encouragement, promising them a nice beach weekend, and now they have to sleep on the couch and floor. What gives? "


omg. I definitely would have left if I got put on the floor or a couch.


Nobody left the first rearranged night, but a couple left the next night. It was weird.


What do you think caused this? Do you think they actually forgot, and just are so conflict adverse/clueless that they didn't think it would be a big deal? Or do you think someone got jealous/mad at you using the house, and decided to make a point?


I don't know. I think there's the slightest chance that SIL wasn't aware bil meant that we could have the house to ourselves for the weekend. Maybe she didn't trust us. Or... Maybe they just decided it was a good weekend to bring the family to the beach and felt like it's their house so they can do what they want? I don't know. It was just so weird that they didn't seem to see a need to explain.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 10:18     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
At a beach house with my in laws and my mom. FIL overheard a private conversation between my mom and I on the stairs, assumed it was about him (it was not nor were we aware he was listening or thought he was part of it as he was on a different floor) and then wouldn’t come out of his room for three days as it hurt too much to look at us. He’d leave early and sit on the beach all day and move if we came near.

He is both hard of hearing and English is not his first language. My mom and I were discussing my coworkers and did not realize he thought he was part of the conversation as again he was on a different floor and it had nothing to do with him and we weren’t talking to him before we started down the stairs.

My mom tried to apologize but he wouldn’t come back to the house. My MIL insists I’m at fault but I’m not apologizing as I did nothing wrong. He does this with various people every few months and I’m not humoring him.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 09:59     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
02:37 I love you, you must be a good storyteller.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 09:51     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Bil and spouse are really very nice and generous. Bil has told us several times over the past 2years that we should invite our friends out to their beach house. We did. They said "that weekend is perfect. We'll be in Italy. Here's the security code etc"" . So we invite a couple families and single friends, designate bedrooms, plan meals. We arrive Friday evening, and on Saturday morning, bil and sil arrive with three of their adult children and a grandchild. We had to redistribute the sleeping arrangements, so that our group got the crappy end of the deal. They said they'd cancelled their trip weeks earlier. But during those weeks, sil had been in contact with me regarding the house so it's not that they forgot we'd be there. Of course, what can we say? We get along with them, the entire group did have fun in the end, but it was just awkward because dh didn't want to come out and say to his brother "hey, we invited our friends here, per your encouragement, promising them a nice beach weekend, and now they have to sleep on the couch and floor. What gives? "


omg. I definitely would have left if I got put on the floor or a couch.


Nobody left the first rearranged night, but a couple left the next night. It was weird.


What do you think caused this? Do you think they actually forgot, and just are so conflict adverse/clueless that they didn't think it would be a big deal? Or do you think someone got jealous/mad at you using the house, and decided to make a point?
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 09:49     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:OP, how were the rooms allocated?
I love analysis of room grandeur and pecking order of guests. From the sister hog who grabs the best room to the precious couple with the baby who needs it but blocks off the balcony and insists on quiet in the kitchen next door. To the single person on the couch every trip.

Any new build beach houses need to have all identical en suites. Haven't they figured this out yet?


Main house with huge en-suite master and 2 extra bedrooms and bath given to favored BIL and his 2 kids. Dank cabin with 1 bathroom (overun with insects) given to remaining 5 adults (including 2 elderly with frequent bathroom visits) and 1 kid. And they wondered why we cut our visit short by 3 days ...
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2019 09:45     Subject: tell me your worst uncomfortable/unfair IL visit stories!
Anonymous wrote:OP, how were the rooms allocated?
I love analysis of room grandeur and pecking order of guests. From the sister hog who grabs the best room to the precious couple with the baby who needs it but blocks off the balcony and insists on quiet in the kitchen next door. To the single person on the couch every trip.

Any new build beach houses need to have all identical en suites. Haven't they figured this out yet?


My group of friends stayed at a house in Colorado for a ski trip where every room had its own bathroom. It was awesome! We used to go on a ski trip every year and every year there was conflict about the rooms. But this place was genius. DH and I had the smallest room, but I didn't mind at all.