Anonymous wrote:Ok I may not be the best judge here... but the kids are 3 and 5. That’s very little, especially for the 3 year old. I don’t know what the right punishment is but doesn’t seem like long term punishments are appropriate. Seems like better course is to work on behavior more generally and have a holistic plan to address it.

I'm the first PP who asked why OP left the kids with an unprepared sitter. Agree that they are pretty young, and the sitter sounds naive, so I think the biggest issue here is probably OP not setting her kid(s) up for success.

As a teen, I babysat for a 6 year old who at our first meeting (once parents had left) threw wooden blocks at my head and then claimed to have no clue what I meant when I told him he needed to go to time out. I remember telling the parents about the time out thing when they got home in case they were horrified, but they continued to hire me, sooooo...maybe it did some good, as I never had major issues with him again outside of normal high-energy little kid stuff.

Anonymous wrote:new poster here
I don't think the "emptying the piggy bank" is "cruel and unusual punishment" at all. When adults do bad things, they are fined by the courts. This is similar. If anything, a specific dollar amount should be set and if there is not enough in the piggy bank, child should have to do extra chores to pay off the debt. Just like in the real world. You play, you pay.

They are little kids. It is pretty much meaningless for them.

new poster here
I don't think the "emptying the piggy bank" is "cruel and unusual punishment" at all. When adults do bad things, they are fined by the courts. This is similar. If anything, a specific dollar amount should be set and if there is not enough in the piggy bank, child should have to do extra chores to pay off the debt. Just like in the real world. You play, you pay.

Ok I may not be the best judge here... but the kids are 3 and 5. That’s very little, especially for the 3 year old. I don’t know what the right punishment is but doesn’t seem like long term punishments are appropriate. Seems like better course is to work on behavior more generally and have a holistic plan to address it.

Anonymous wrote:OP again, to all those who asked why we left kids with this sitter in particular, we'd had her several times before and everything had gone well. I don't question her in the slightest, but rather our kids/our parenting -- which yes is reason we are seeing behaviorist in first place.

Note and gift card (on my dime after DH accused me of cruel and unusual punishment) delivered, obviously no shows or treats this evening.

No shows or treats just this evening?

If shows are highly valued, it should be a week.

Anonymous wrote:Forget the babysitter. You pay her a bit extra and never call her again. There is something much more going on with your kids, your parenting or a combination. You need to get the 5 year old (or both) evaluated. Start with a developmental ped. And, you need strong consequences. Agree with early bed. No electronics, fun stuff or treats for a week or two and then they only get them with a behavior chart with specific goals. That is not normal behavior. The money thing makes no sense as the child is 5.

Took longer than I thought for the diagnoses seekers to show up but there it is.