Anonymous wrote:What does your story have to do with telling a spouse? It’s more so about how our there you were before your spouse. Anyways, my husband doesn’t know much and vice versa. He doesn’t know about being paid for sex, 3some, abortion, etc. what would it matter to him?

Interesting factoid but in VA that's grounds for annulment in the first few years.

Anonymous wrote:I was only with a few men before my husband and he knew a couple of them and he didn’t think much of them nor frankly did I so there wasn’t much to talk about. What he doesn’t know is that one of them was incredibly well endowed but he definitely doesn’t need to know that because he is of average size. Too bad the other guy wasn’t very good in bed despite his ample size - what a waste.

Are you me? Lol. I only dated a few guys before meeting my DH so I never really had much history to hide. However, my last bf before I met DH was truly large downstairs. My DH knew him as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

The first would be worse for me. My wife is in category B, has no interest. And I've tried barking up that tree before without success, but it doesn't bother me. I'm positive it would bother me had she done it with an ex-boyfriend, but that isn't the case here, she's just against the idea of it in general. We almost tried once when we had been drinking heavily but she backed out (pun!) at the last second. She's smart about it though. Like someone else said, she tells me part of the problem is I'm too large for it. Now I'm not a small guy, but I've seen enough porn to know I'm not packing a python either. So she could be completely BSing me, but ego stroking certainly has a way of making the no answer not so bad.

To my husband - it’s never been there, it’s not going there, it will never go there. If you insist it won’t go anywhere.

Yep, basically, not the last part though. We both enjoy sex too much to threaten each other with the last part. But the first three parts sound awfully familiar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

The first would be worse for me. My wife is in category B, has no interest. And I've tried barking up that tree before without success, but it doesn't bother me. I'm positive it would bother me had she done it with an ex-boyfriend, but that isn't the case here, she's just against the idea of it in general. We almost tried once when we had been drinking heavily but she backed out (pun!) at the last second. She's smart about it though. Like someone else said, she tells me part of the problem is I'm too large for it. Now I'm not a small guy, but I've seen enough porn to know I'm not packing a python either. So she could be completely BSing me, but ego stroking certainly has a way of making the no answer not so bad.

To my husband - it’s never been there, it’s not going there, it will never go there. If you insist it won’t go anywhere.

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

The first would be worse for me. My wife is in category B, has no interest. And I've tried barking up that tree before without success, but it doesn't bother me. I'm positive it would bother me had she done it with an ex-boyfriend, but that isn't the case here, she's just against the idea of it in general. We almost tried once when we had been drinking heavily but she backed out (pun!) at the last second. She's smart about it though. Like someone else said, she tells me part of the problem is I'm too large for it. Now I'm not a small guy, but I've seen enough porn to know I'm not packing a python either. So she could be completely BSing me, but ego stroking certainly has a way of making the no answer not so bad.

Fairly early on my wife said that she did not like providing an oral finish, it didn’t really bother me but after reading this I’m a little bummed out that she decided she didn’t like it with at least one but probably a few guys before me. I have zero complaints about our sex life though, she does dress up, role-play and all sorts of fun stuff but I would like an oral finish one day.

For the record I’ve never asked for it in the 23 years we’ve been together after she told me she didn’t really like doing it.

When we were first dating, my husband gave me the "I'm not looking for anything serious, don't want to label us and can't be exclusive" speech. So I dated other guys while dating him. We never really talked about it but I'm pretty sure he dated other women during that period too so... this is boring so I'll stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

Obviously men think that if the woman they love gave it up to someone else but not them, then they’re some kind of cuck. I am astounded in this day and age how obsessed men are with owning women’s bodies. F all y’all.

While it's not okay to pressure someone into a sex act they don't want, I do think it's okay to be disappointed, as long as you don't let that disappointment affect your relationship. So no complaining, pressuring, withholding from your SO, getting it from other people, etc.

Sort of like, my DH doesn't like vacations. I'm okay with it, but I'll admit it stung when I found out he used to take an ex-gf on fun vacations. I'm sure she was sexier and more fun than me, so I get it and I don't hold it against him, but it still hurts a little.

There is nothing to tell because he’s the only man I’ve ever slept with! Boring but true. He didn’t know I was a virgin (I was 23) until our clothes were off and that almost killed the moment. I’m sure I was a terrible partner in the beginning but after 17 years I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

Obviously men think that if the woman they love gave it up to someone else but not them, then they’re some kind of cuck. I am astounded in this day and age how obsessed men are with owning women’s bodies. F all y’all.

Husband here - where my thing goes is entirely up to my wife and I’m just happy that it goes somewhere quite often. It’s her body and not mine.

That's the key. When it doesn't go somewhere often is when men start wondering.

Yup - along similar lines, if she used to be a fan of one night stands but she won't have sex with you unless you jump through a bunch of hoops.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

Obviously men think that if the woman they love gave it up to someone else but not them, then they’re some kind of cuck. I am astounded in this day and age how obsessed men are with owning women’s bodies. F all y’all.

Husband here - where my thing goes is entirely up to my wife and I’m just happy that it goes somewhere quite often. It’s her body and not mine.

That's the key. When it doesn't go somewhere often is when men start wondering.

DH and I have never discussed our previous relationships in any real detail and after 30 years it is way in the distant past. However, before we got together he briefly dated a GF of mine who was very open about his sexual Energizer bunny prowess. So at least I know something about his past and I’m happy to say the report was true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

Obviously men think that if the woman they love gave it up to someone else but not them, then they’re some kind of cuck. I am astounded in this day and age how obsessed men are with owning women’s bodies. F all y’all.

Husband here - where my thing goes is entirely up to my wife and I’m just happy that it goes somewhere quite often. It’s her body and not mine.

DH here. Lately wife & I have been talking about Woodstock, which I attended but she did not. She asked me who I went with, and I replied I couldn't remember (1/2 true: "If you remember the sixties, you weren't there). She dropped the subject. BTW, we've been married for over 25 years.

Anyway, I got an e-mail to my work address from the alleged person I went with, who said she has the original tickets, and would I like to have my ticket back--complete with mud on it. I said no. Would be hard to explain how the ticket "suddenly" appeared. You may recall that the fences were down so the tickets were never collected. I paid $18.00 each for three days.

I don't think we did anything besides three days of peace and music -- there was a lot of mud, which is not too sexy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a question for the men talking about Forbidden Sex Acts.

Is it more disappointing/galling to you all if a woman has done Forbidden Sex Act before, did not enjoy it and will not do it again, or if a woman has never and refuses to consider doing Forbidden Sex Act with you or anyone else?

Obviously men think that if the woman they love gave it up to someone else but not them, then they’re some kind of cuck. I am astounded in this day and age how obsessed men are with owning women’s bodies. F all y’all.

Hmm, I am not a red piller by any stretch so I can't tell you how the "cuck" world thinks. But I can also see how you can be somewhat of a normal guy and still be disappointed that your wife was willing to wildly experiment sexually with ex-bfs but brings a conservative game to the marital bed. Just as you might be disappointed if thoughtful gestures (or whatever your love language is) were done by him for his exes but he doesn't want to do those anymore.