I’m now 41, married to a 54 year old. We’ve been married since I was 26. I can’t imagine another person I’d rather be married to. And no, he isn’t rich and we both work FT. He just really, really makes me laugh. And he’s a great dad.

Anonymous wrote:My parents are ten years apart. The advice from my mother was always to marry a man your own age. She felt that marrying a man ten years older has instantly aged her by ten years - she has to live a life of a much older person, so in a sense, ten years of her youth have been shaved off.

OP, in your case, I'm sure all his money would go to his own children so you don't even have that as a motivator.

OP here. I make good money, so that wouldn’t be a motivator in any case. Also, many people have made similar comments about having to slow down, but he has more energy than I do (just cycled from Pittsburgh back to DC, runs half-marathons, etc). He’s in better shape than I am! And he’s very energetic - loves to be out and about.

Anyway, perhaps I’m learning that is that he’s not a typical late forties man. Obviously it’s way to soon to be thinking about marriage. Will just take it as it comes.

My parents are ten years apart. The advice from my mother was always to marry a man your own age. She felt that marrying a man ten years older has instantly aged her by ten years - she has to live a life of a much older person, so in a sense, ten years of her youth have been shaved off.

OP, in your case, I'm sure all his money would go to his own children so you don't even have that as a motivator.

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine my 55 yr old DH wanting to parent a 4 and 6 yr old again. What kind of parent do you think he would make if this was to get more serious? In his mind, would he think in 5 yrs I'm done having to deal with kids in the house, and be checked out as far as parenting your young kids are concerned?

OK, right now she is doing 100% of the parenting work when she has custody, and if he does nothing then she is not harmed (that is already the status quo). If he does anything at all she is better off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

I'm 55, have visible abs, bench 300#, and have a very high libido. I don't have to settle for 40 or over.

DP You would have to admit you are rare. Most 55 year olds do not look as good unless an actor and even then.

+1 I always find it funny when people always chime and say, "I'm different". Anecdotes are just that. Majority of 50+ year olds don't have visible abs. They have "dad bods", like my DH who is 55. And that's fine. We all age, and I'm not looking for my DH to have rock hard abs at this stage (though, I wouldn't complain if he did).

But that's pretty much the response to every DCUM post ever!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

+1 My DH and I are six years apart, and he is nearing retirement age, but not me. I have six more years, so it's not like we can enjoy retirement together. But, right now, this is the only noticeable challenge.

You also have a much higher chance of being a widow for a longer time, unless of course, you can manage to find someone else at 65 (cause your DH will be 79 and life expectancy for men here is 76.5; for women it's 81.2).

Yeah but that's not an issue because you will likely divorce before he croaks.

I have a good friend married to a man with this age difference. He's counting down the clock to retirement and she's late 40s. Very different mindsets.

They live an 'old person' lifestyle. Dinner at the club, in bed by 9pm, up at 5am. She misses out on a lot of girl's nights because her house closes at 9. Doesn't go out to concerts or shows. Just lame.

Anonymous wrote:I have two good friends who married "old" men. They are pampered and loved. The men really take great care of them. It has made me reconsider my own biases.

That’s what I’ve observed. If a woman marries a man her age, he may take a good 20+ years to mature. Depends how long you’re willing to wait or if you’re ok with seeing your ex suddenly step up and treat the younger new wife like a queen. Many of these men who marry women a decade or two younger may have learned lessons from previous failed relationships. And they are smitten with youth, of course. It’s a good combination for a woman in her 30s or 40s who divorced an immature jerk or someone they just could no longer connect with romantically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

I'm 55, have visible abs, bench 300#, and have a very high libido. I don't have to settle for 40 or over.

DP You would have to admit you are rare. Most 55 year olds do not look as good unless an actor and even then.

+1 I always find it funny when people always chime and say, "I'm different". Anecdotes are just that. Majority of 50+ year olds don't have visible abs. They have "dad bods", like my DH who is 55. And that's fine. We all age, and I'm not looking for my DH to have rock hard abs at this stage (though, I wouldn't complain if he did).

I laugh when they say they have 6-pack abs and it looks like a 6 pack of pencils instead of a 6 pack of beer.

Like wtf kinda mirror do you own cause I want one.

I can't imagine my 55 yr old DH wanting to parent a 4 and 6 yr old again. What kind of parent do you think he would make if this was to get more serious? In his mind, would he think in 5 yrs I'm done having to deal with kids in the house, and be checked out as far as parenting your young kids are concerned?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

I'm 55, have visible abs, bench 300#, and have a very high libido. I don't have to settle for 40 or over.

DP You would have to admit you are rare. Most 55 year olds do not look as good unless an actor and even then.

+1 I always find it funny when people always chime and say, "I'm different". Anecdotes are just that. Majority of 50+ year olds don't have visible abs. They have "dad bods", like my DH who is 55. And that's fine. We all age, and I'm not looking for my DH to have rock hard abs at this stage (though, I wouldn't complain if he did).

I'm the pp. Me too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

I'm 55, have visible abs, bench 300#, and have a very high libido. I don't have to settle for 40 or over.

DP You would have to admit you are rare. Most 55 year olds do not look as good unless an actor and even then.

+1 I always find it funny when people always chime and say, "I'm different". Anecdotes are just that. Majority of 50+ year olds don't have visible abs. They have "dad bods", like my DH who is 55. And that's fine. We all age, and I'm not looking for my DH to have rock hard abs at this stage (though, I wouldn't complain if he did).

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 and my husband is 65 and we’ve been together 17 years. He can still rock it.

Come back when he is 75. My more concern would be your young children especially since are almost grown. Does he want to start again with another man's kids?

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

+1 My DH and I are six years apart, and he is nearing retirement age, but not me. I have six more years, so it's not like we can enjoy retirement together. But, right now, this is the only noticeable challenge.

You also have a much higher chance of being a widow for a longer time, unless of course, you can manage to find someone else at 65 (cause your DH will be 79 and life expectancy for men here is 76.5; for women it's 81.2).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really great until he is 55 and you are 40 and don't get me started about 60 and 45 or 65 and 50.

I'm 55, have visible abs, bench 300#, and have a very high libido. I don't have to settle for 40 or over.

Funny. I was at the pool and a dude flexed and said guess my age. I said 60? He was 57, "6-pack abs" but damn bitch, the skin and the chicken legs and the hair... You think u look 40ish...nah. That's men's ability to be delusional about how they really look.

Enjoy your tick rock the clock is ticking date. It amazing what women will settle for when they want a baby.

I didn't say I think I look 40-ish. I don't think that at all.

I do know that I have a better physique than my 30-something coworkers (who are all skinnyfat) let alone the guys my age who are total wrecks. That's obvious even without anyone taking their clothes off.

I'm not dating women who want babies so your final comment is way off base. Are you one of these bitter old women who can't stand it that some men can date younger, and thus feel compelled to attack the women who choose those men?