Anonymous wrote:There were a few, might or might not be, signs in early teens. When she wanted a Subaru for her first car, we knew.
Anonymous wrote:Would you say that looking back on your daughter's childhood or teen years, before she came out, that there were indicators that she was gay that you may not have picked up on at the time?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone here with a gay daughter who WASN'T a tomboy, and was in fact rather feminine and had crushes on boys as a kid?
I was girly (sparkly dresses, nail polish, ballet) and had "crushes" on boys as a kid. I'm gay.
I went through a tomboy phase during puberty, but now I'm still pretty feminine - long hair, some makeup, occasionally wear dresses. Refuse to paint my nails though.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We knew my neighbor was gay at age 3. He was in love with dresses and pretty things. He would play dress up with my daughters for hours. He has always loved anything artistic: drawing, painting, ballet, fashion.
By age 8 or so he started using very effeminate and dramatic mannerisms.
He's now a teenager and out.
I love this kid like my own--our kids grew up together. It's been fascinating to who he has become. He's a very interesting and cool kid.
What is the connection with being artistic and gay? I know that not all gay men are effeminate, but there does seem to be such a huge connection between homosexuality and creativity. This connection seems to exist among females as well. My friend's daughter is in art school, and she says there's not a single straight girl there. Granted many are pan and have boyfriends, but none of them are simply straight. I really do wonder what the connection is.
Anonymous wrote:My DD is a lesbian. I’ve always suspected it. Even as a toddler she never really had friends who were boys. She was a princess all the way. She’s always been into fashion and looking perfect, and she definitely marches to her own drummer. The only two friends she had in elementary school who were boys were both very effeminate (they were bronies when she was obsessed with MLP, and would play dress up in her princess costumes instead of insisting on being a superhero or masculine character).
She’s very artistic and goes to art school. She’s the most sensitive, empathetic, kindest person I’ve ever met. She’s very pretty, and boys always flock to her at first, but she gives off a major uninterested vibe so by the third week of school she’s managed to surround herself with girls as a sort of buffer to the boys. Before she was out, whenever boys would ask her out, she’d match them up with a friend instead. I think it was for her 10th birthday party, when planning the guest list I asked if she wanted to invite any boys. She looked at me genuinely perplexed and said, why would I want to invite any boys?
She came out as pan first. I never like to second guess how anyone identifies, but I always thought she was trying to be inclusive or keep her options open so she could fit in if she needed. The only crushes she ever had on boys were a mystery crush in 7th grade and a crush on Shawn Mendez when Stitches was big. Now she identifies as a lesbian. No one was surprised when she came out. It just made sense.
She’s not a tomboy, not butch, loves dresses, lace, has long hair, her makeup is always perfect, keeps her nails long and perfectly manicured, and never played a sport aside from cheerleading. She’s basically a lipstick lesbian, but she really dislikes that term.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We knew my neighbor was gay at age 3. He was in love with dresses and pretty things. He would play dress up with my daughters for hours. He has always loved anything artistic: drawing, painting, ballet, fashion.
By age 8 or so he started using very effeminate and dramatic mannerisms.
He's now a teenager and out.
I love this kid like my own--our kids grew up together. It's been fascinating to who he has become. He's a very interesting and cool kid.
What is the connection with being artistic and gay? I know that not all gay men are effeminate, but there does seem to be such a huge connection between homosexuality and creativity. This connection seems to exist among females as well. My friend's daughter is in art school, and she says there's not a single straight girl there. Granted many are pan and have boyfriends, but none of them are simply straight. I really do wonder what the connection is.
there's a correlation between minority status and creativity/achievement. Basically, you think differently in many different ways. On the flip side, if you think differently and are creative, you're likely more open minded about sexuality as well.
But how would being open minded about sexuality affect one's sexual orientation?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We knew my neighbor was gay at age 3. He was in love with dresses and pretty things. He would play dress up with my daughters for hours. He has always loved anything artistic: drawing, painting, ballet, fashion.
By age 8 or so he started using very effeminate and dramatic mannerisms.
He's now a teenager and out.
I love this kid like my own--our kids grew up together. It's been fascinating to who he has become. He's a very interesting and cool kid.
What is the connection with being artistic and gay? I know that not all gay men are effeminate, but there does seem to be such a huge connection between homosexuality and creativity. This connection seems to exist among females as well. My friend's daughter is in art school, and she says there's not a single straight girl there. Granted many are pan and have boyfriends, but none of them are simply straight. I really do wonder what the connection is.
there's a correlation between minority status and creativity/achievement. Basically, you think differently in many different ways. On the flip side, if you think differently and are creative, you're likely more open minded about sexuality as well.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I knew my son was gay when he was a toddler. By the time he was in preschool it was pretty clear to everyone. He’s a happily married surgeon now with two straight (we think) kids of his own.
What? How do you know your son is gay when he’s under 3 years old?
Honestly I just knew. It was a combination of things that all pointed to him being on a different “journey” than my other boys.
Let me guess, the others were “all boy” rough and tumble?![]()
DP. You can roll your eyes all you want, but these stereotypes exist for a reason.
Stop conflating gender expression with sexuality. My older DD was a tomboy until 15 and is straight. My younger DD was super princess girly until 12, is obsessed with hair and makeup and is a lesbian.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We knew my neighbor was gay at age 3. He was in love with dresses and pretty things. He would play dress up with my daughters for hours. He has always loved anything artistic: drawing, painting, ballet, fashion.
By age 8 or so he started using very effeminate and dramatic mannerisms.
He's now a teenager and out.
I love this kid like my own--our kids grew up together. It's been fascinating to who he has become. He's a very interesting and cool kid.
What is the connection with being artistic and gay? I know that not all gay men are effeminate, but there does seem to be such a huge connection between homosexuality and creativity. This connection seems to exist among females as well. My friend's daughter is in art school, and she says there's not a single straight girl there. Granted many are pan and have boyfriends, but none of them are simply straight. I really do wonder what the connection is.
Some link in the brain chemistry?
No, there's nothing genetic or "brain chemistry" about it, not more than African American's success in music and entertainment is due to genetics or brain chemistry. It's just being more open to different forms of expression because you're outside of the mainstream to begin with. And also there's likely some confirmation bias going on as well.
Anonymous wrote:Anyone here with a gay daughter who WASN'T a tomboy, and was in fact rather feminine and had crushes on boys as a kid?