Completely ignore and avoid her whenever possible.

Enlist your MIL and SIL who helped de escalate last time to help you again at any next necessary family gathering. If you trust them not to tell her, share that you received an angry message from her and will not be replying but that it reminded you to ask them to help you keep space from her. It will be good for them to know that she’s still trolling you so they know this is a continued pursuit.

OP, I have a narcissistic aunt too and unfortunately, my family has to stop attending gatherings whenever she’s around. She’s blocked everywhere. I suggest you do the same.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I've read gray rock and that is what I had been using with her. Just be boring, politely decline, ghost, avoid and don't feed the need. I assumed that she would tire of us and move on to another target but she is escalating instead of moving on.

She sound more bipolar than personality disordered.

You need to make a plan for calling the police if necessary. Tell the kids' schools and caretakers that she is not to see the children or pick them up. Make safety plans with the kids. I'd put GPS trackers on the kids. If she escalates, consider a restraining order.

My sister uses a redirect method that is effective. It’s like dealing with a toddler. If our mom wants to rant about how my sister ruined her life, my sister just rolls past it and changes the subject. If mom continues to press after a few redirects, my sister ends the call.

I tend to argue, and that is not at all helpful. It’s like adding coal to the crazy train.