Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 15:57     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
I think the abusive dad is saying a lot of untrue things that you, the girl, and her mother are taking as fact. A 17 yr old does not have to go there. The police would never come pick her up. She should def not get married. Maybe mom should talk to her lawyer.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 13:45     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
What is wrong with the mother? There's a reason she doesn't have full, or even primary, custody. Spill the beans.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 13:38     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?

I feel really sorry for this teen.

She has an abusive father.
She has a mother who apparently cannot think critically to find ways to defend her.
And she has a weirdo relative who thinks marriage is the answer!!!

Hopefully the teen has other friends with their heads screwed on correctly.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 13:34     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:OP,
Are you single? Are you going to marry her? Depending on how close a relative you are, it could be legal.


um, this is just getting grosser ...
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 13:31     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.



I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.


You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.


I’m not one of her parents, and I’m not trying to marry her off for my personal benefit. Why do you keep trying to sexualize this when I’ve explained it repeatedly? You should chill. Seriously. I don’t have someone picked out for her to marry. I am searching for some kind of solution that doesn’t include her going back and getting beaten.

I am desperate for ideas on how to help this situation. Moving forward with an order of protection sounds like it could at least buy her some time. It would also remove the guns from the father’s possession.


hire the mom a lawyer if you're desperate.


That was my first thought. If I had any money to spare, that’s what I would be doing.

I appreciate the advice here. She is going to look into getting an injunction/ order of protection. I think there’s a chance that the judge will say it’s an attempt to circumvent the custody order, but it will buy her a couple of weeks to consider her options. I hope it works.


Well, yeah. The whole idea is to get around the custody order, right? Let the judge think what the judge wants to think. She should calmly and rationally produce her evidence and move on from there.

She's going to have to file for protection and refuse to see her father. Depending on when her birthday is she might age out before a decision is made.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:40     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Consult a lawyer.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:36     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have honestly never heard of a police officer dragging an unwilling teenager to a parental visitation. Is the dad telling her this will happen?


An attorney and police officer told her this.


They are trying to scare her and you are reinforcing this.


Agree. They’re not going to haul an unwilling 17yo off to see her dad. They’re hoping she’ll just go, but they’re not going to chase her down to enforce the visitation.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:28     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
You sound like you are feeding drama where there doesn't have to be. Let her live with you or pay for mom's attorney to get custody.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:20     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have honestly never heard of a police officer dragging an unwilling teenager to a parental visitation. Is the dad telling her this will happen?


An attorney and police officer told her this.


They are trying to scare her and you are reinforcing this.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:18     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, who are you in this situation?

I'm concerned you are trying to persuade a minor into a very disturbing situation. Know that you can get into trouble for that.

The daughter must refuse to go to her father's. End of story. If the police show up - which they won't - then don't answer the door. They're not going to break it down.



I can get in trouble for this idea? No. That’s just silly. I’m a relative.

I’m not suggesting she get into any romantic or live-in relationship with anyone. She’s had a tough few years and that’s the last thing she needs. Again, I’m asking if marrying a platonic friend close to her own age, and continuing to live with her mother is a crazy idea. Divorce would follow after she’s 18. It would permanently put an end to her having to see her abusive father, and it would be immediate. That’s why I’m even asking this question. I feel like I’ve made these things clear in my previous responses.


You haven’t made it clear. Are you mom? Only mom or dad (or another legal guardian) can sign for the 17 year old to marry. Dad clearly won’t do that. So you are mom and need to man up to protect your DD In a way that doesn’t cause further issues for her.

Who is the grown man that wants to marry your DD? A platonic friend of yours? Your boyfriend?

Poor girl. As a survivor of CSA and DV, my heart is breaking for her and my skin is crawling at your plan.


I’m not one of her parents, and I’m not trying to marry her off for my personal benefit. Why do you keep trying to sexualize this when I’ve explained it repeatedly? You should chill. Seriously. I don’t have someone picked out for her to marry. I am searching for some kind of solution that doesn’t include her going back and getting beaten.

I am desperate for ideas on how to help this situation. Moving forward with an order of protection sounds like it could at least buy her some time. It would also remove the guns from the father’s possession.


hire the mom a lawyer if you're desperate.


That was my first thought. If I had any money to spare, that’s what I would be doing.

I appreciate the advice here. She is going to look into getting an injunction/ order of protection. I think there’s a chance that the judge will say it’s an attempt to circumvent the custody order, but it will buy her a couple of weeks to consider her options. I hope it works.

Why? If there’s a record of abuse, which you say CPS has, no judge is going to say that. So what are you leaving out of your story?


I’m sure this is what her father will say to the judge.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:14     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:OP,
Are you single? Are you going to marry her? Depending on how close a relative you are, it could be legal.


We are too closely related.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:14     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:I have honestly never heard of a police officer dragging an unwilling teenager to a parental visitation. Is the dad telling her this will happen?


An attorney and police officer told her this.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:09     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
Anonymous wrote:I have honestly never heard of a police officer dragging an unwilling teenager to a parental visitation. Is the dad telling her this will happen?


My worry is that OP is telling her this will happen.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 19:05     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
I have honestly never heard of a police officer dragging an unwilling teenager to a parental visitation. Is the dad telling her this will happen?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2019 18:39     Subject: Marriage at 17, solely for emancipation purposes. Crazy idea?
OP,
Are you single? Are you going to marry her? Depending on how close a relative you are, it could be legal.