I can't think of a vacation that would be better with a one-year-old than this, frankly.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

Yes, so you could trade whole days if there are trips — it might still be fun, no? And maybe find a sitter to sit in the guest house once baby is asleep. You could join the other folks in the bigger house for dinner.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

I still don't see the problem. You can switch off with your DH on who's on baby duty. You have a separate guest house on a beautiful property in Maine! You're getting a free vacation! Don't worry about meals, the person who's on baby duty should do meals separately and basically operate on a separate schedule. You just join in whenever schedules match up (breakfast, an hour or two at the beach) and leave whenever they don't. I would love this -- I always like some time to myself on vacation, so a mix of a couple days hanging out with baby (and reading) and a couple days with older kids and friends is great.

The other families all have kids so they are likely to be understanding if your family needs to make adjustments to accommodate the 1 year old. Don’t be a martyr.

Anonymous wrote:Another thing you could do is ask your friends how they handled it when they had babies. Maybe they'll say there's a great sitter in the neighborhood or something.

YES - this. Presumably they had the house 5-6 years ago, too? What did they do with the kids then? And at 1 year old, your baby can manage one nap a day. So you'll be alone with the baby (or DH will be alone with the baby) for 2-3 hours each afternoon. Quite frankly, that sounds wonderful - sit on the patio and read a book or snooze yourself while the baby naps.

As for other activities - it's not get on a boat or stay home are your only options. I bet a friend would be willing to join you and the baby for a stroll through the city or breakfast out one morning. If your friends are kind, they'll be flexible and willing to adapt a little to accommodate the toddler once in a while.

It really does sound like you just don't want to go. What would you be doing differently at home, OP? It sounds like these are your options:

SAHM - hang out at home with baby and 5 year old while DH works
WOHM - be at work all day
Vacation Mom - hang out with friends and/or baby, get lots of down time.

Either way, sounds like a no brainer to me.

We would go, but our kids are big kids and we just took a new puppy on vacation. It was like having a baby all over again, but my babies were better travelers. Your baby may surprise you. Dh and I traded off taking care of the puppy and it was fine. You can do this, OP.

Another point--if you don't go now, or at least let your DH and DS go, will you get another invite? If even some of your family goes now, and demonstrates what gracious and charming guests you are, and cooks and couple of meals and sends a thank you note, you will be invited back when the baby isn't a baby anymore.

Another thing you could do is ask your friends how they handled it when they had babies. Maybe they'll say there's a great sitter in the neighborhood or something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

You just don’t want to go. Stay home with the baby then and let your family go. Babies are very flexible.....some mom’s aren’t.

Yah, I don't get it. One of you will definitely have to skip most of the big outdoor activities. On several nights, one of you might need to miss part/all of dinner to put the baby to bed. I don't understand why that would make the whole vacation a no go for everyone. That's just the nature of having a one year old.

Does the baby have sensory/developmental stuff of significance? That I can see because I know controlling the environment is the only thing you can do about that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

So then go take baby somewhere else while everyone else goes out on the yacht.

Are you seriously going to by pass this awesome-sounding vacation -which your older kid will absolutely love - simply b/c your 1 yr old has to nap and can't do every activity? You've got a long road ahead of you if your world is already dictated and revolving around a 1 yr old - and who knows, maybe she'll surprised you and do really well and won't need this charade of being in a dark room for 20 min to settle down, etc. With the new scenery and fresh air she'll naturally tucker herself out.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

You just don’t want to go. Stay home with the baby then and let your family go. Babies are very flexible.....some mom’s aren’t.

OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

I would go and take turns with DH to stay back and take care of the baby, when needed. Sounds like a win-win!

Anonymous wrote:Maine is perfect for a one year old. Does dB nap in a stroller or on a blanket? Honestly go, eat lobster rolls, take walks, sit on the beach with a book and napping baby. Sounds like heaven.

+1

My kids took plenty of naps in a stroller while we all enjoyed ourselves together. There were also times when I was on nap duty. There has to be flexibility though. Also, teaching your kids to fit in with your lifestyle is important so that you don't feel tied down all of the time.

I think you should go. You have to co-parent the 1 year old no matter where you are. At least be somewhere cool and beautiful. You should BOTH have to skip a few activities to stay with the 1 year old, but since you definitely will either way, try to think of something you might like to do to make it not-so-bad. It sounds like you will have a little kitchen, so maybe you could take the 1 year old to buy blueberries and make a pie while others are boating? Whatever, and take equal shifts as much as possible.