Nuts. My dad is borderline dog-crazy and grumbles (to me, not the host) when he can’t take his dogs somewhere, but he deals with it and gets a dog sitter.

I mean, people find a way to leave their actual children at home when an event is adults-only. As many PPs have said, your event, your rules!

OP, I wish you the best. Please update us after the event. I'm curious how things will actually pan out.

Anonymous wrote:Dear Smith Family,

We are looking forward to the BBQ. We hope this will be a fun and relaxing day for all of our family.

As you know, Kaylee is severely allergic to dogs. As the hosts, we've gone out of our way to thoroughly clean our house and board our own dog. We are dog lovers, but we love Kaylee and family even more.

There will be NO DOGS at this party. If that changes your RSVP, we understand. Anyone trying to bring their dog the day of will be politely asked to leave. This is not changing.

We look forward to seeing those of you who can make it.

Stu, Rachel and family

I love dogs, LOVE them and yes, I consider them family but I would never take them somewhere they were not invited. You are 10000% in your right to ban them. I like this ^^ very much.

Cancel the event, reschedule for the next night and don’t invite the dog people.

Anonymous wrote:I’d promptly ban the whole lot of them from this and every future event at my house. And don’t blame the poor allergic girl. This is squarely on them for being batsh!t crazy.

This. The three relatives you describe sound awful. The aggressive one with the nippy dog, the entitled aunt who think she can muscle her dog into your house by threatening she will bill you for damage her dog does and her own home (wtf!?), and the guy who mansplains to you about dogs. They all sound awful and frankly, assuming they follow your directive (which I would not count on, so you better have a plan) they are going to show up at your home and be terrible, passive aggressive guests. You can count on it. I think you should strongly encourage those three families to decline the party, and if they don’t start backing down in their harassment of you you might want to consider directly disinviting them. I don’t think you’re going to miss them. And OP, I love how strong and direct you are. However, these are all your husband’s family, correct? Why isn’t he the primary voice setting the rules for his family? It sounds like you’ve been left to be the enforcer and if that’s the case I don’t think that’s quite right or fair. but more power to you! And yeah, while your niece might have allergies don’t let yourself fall into the trap of “blaming and “it all on her. These relatives need to be called out for their mingboggling rude behavior.

Everyone’s dog stays at THEIR own home. It’s a BBQ , not a multi day event! Including yours! I would never board my OWN dog for an event I’m hosting. But you do you.

We always board our dog if we are hosting a large event. It is stressful for the dog to have so many people in their house or yard. With a large crowd, someone is going to be allergic or afraid of dogs.

Dogs stay home. Their owners/parents have incredibly bad manners and Sheol do not be putting you in this position. I would tell them that. Put it on them. Let them know that they are making this very uncomfortable for you and it's not appreciated. Whether they choose toe attend, sans pooch is up to them. Not your issue case closed. Mother of a sweet pup who is part of our family.

Everyone’s dog stays at THEIR own home. It’s a BBQ , not a multi day event! Including yours! I would never board my OWN dog for an event I’m hosting. But you do you.

I call this dog creep. Someone brazen and entitled starts showing up with a dog. The next thing your know others are bringing dogs. The dog owners think its just dandy but no one else does. Do not bring your dog to other people's houses.

If someone shows up with a dog, and you have written proof that they were prohibited, is it trespassing? Any cops reading this?

I’d promptly ban the whole lot of them from this and every future event at my house. And don’t blame the poor allergic girl. This is squarely on them for being batsh!t crazy.

Not normal - no one in my very large extended family would ever do this.

Stay firm. No dogs. I'm sorry others aren't openly backing you - I would! Still, it's an absolutely reasonable line to draw, even without the allergic niece. (Oh, and you, a private property owner, are not subject to any laws re: emotional support animal. You can legally ban any emotional support animal from your home that you want).

Send them a list of places they can drop off their dogs and tell them that the dogs are not welcome on your property and that your niece is the priority.

Anonymous wrote:MIL's thought of, "Give in to keep the peace" is NOT relevant --- not when you are the host.

Stand your ground. For this event. You could always adopt a different standard, in the future, for some other future event.

Emotional manipulation = the person who whines the loudest gets their way

Don't support that. Besides, it's an important lesson for your children. And actually, the details do not matter, it's the principle.

Yeah, there is already no peace to keep.

And try to stay sober for this one, OP!

Stay strong and shame these crazy dog-owners, OP!
They give the rest of us a bad name.

Our dog may be a family member of sorts, but lower on the totem pole, and is definitely never brought to such events.

I can’t believe the entitlement of these people... it’s mind-boggling.