Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for your child. I really do. Your anxiety is going to drive your kid crazy never mind the people around you.

If the base is locked down, call the school and say that you can't get there because the base is locked down. I doubt you are the only family attending the school that lives on base.

You will get her to school on time because that is your job. It doesn't matter if it is public or private, there are consequences for missing school for anything other then an excused reason. Miss too much school for unexcused reason and she will not be invited back for the next grade. So work it out. You develop a morning routine and your child has consequences for not following that routine. Provide rewards at the beginning for following the routine.

She wears her uniform. You choose the school with the uniform that you knew she would not like to wearing. You figure out how to get her to wear her uniform. Again, there is nothing wrong with a reward system. She will get used to it and it is not going to be an issue.

But it sounds like you are dead set on having a miserable summer, spent crying about problems that have yet to occur, and complaining about a choice that you made.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

How do you function? You 'can't' tell a 5 year old to get dressed? Really? I find it hard to believe that you maintain employment.

Really? I'm not the 5 year old. I'm only myself. Yes, I'm uptight, so it's easy to maintain employment. Controlling other people, not so much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

How do you function? You 'can't' tell a 5 year old to get dressed? Really? I find it hard to believe that you maintain employment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

Let the school handle it. Why are you worrying about this in July? You've already picked the school (the wrong school, apparently). Go enjoy summer.

Because I don't break rules and she will, and it'll all fall to me. That's why I'm worrying about it. School starts in three weeks, anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

I strongly suspect that OP is the author of numerous other threads on DCUM, where she complains and complains and complains, people offer suggestions and she rejects them all, and her untreated anxiety is on full display. The military husband, the school anxiety, the DH-insists-on-private-but-I-wanted-public, it all tracks. One thread she decided she needed to quit her job because she couldn't bring herself to tell her employer that the morning conference call conflicts with school drop off. Pages upon pages upon pages of obvious untreated anxiety, OP lashing out at anyone who dared suggest as much, and shooting down every single reasonable suggestion people put forth. Oh woe is me, you just don't understand!

Oh yeahhhhh, that make sense. I'm done with this -- like beating my head against the wall when someone insists on completely contrary despite all reasonable suggestions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

Let the school handle it. Why are you worrying about this in July? You've already picked the school (the wrong school, apparently). Go enjoy summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

I strongly suspect that OP is the author of numerous other threads on DCUM, where she complains and complains and complains, people offer suggestions and she rejects them all, and her untreated anxiety is on full display. The military husband, the school anxiety, the DH-insists-on-private-but-I-wanted-public, it all tracks. One thread she decided she needed to quit her job because she couldn't bring herself to tell her employer that the morning conference call conflicts with school drop off. Pages upon pages upon pages of obvious untreated anxiety, OP lashing out at anyone who dared suggest as much, and shooting down every single reasonable suggestion people put forth. Oh woe is me, you just don't understand!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Yes, you can do that. Other parents do that, why can't you?

If the base is locked down and you're unable to make it to the school, then you can't make it. Excused or unexcused.

Ok, but the base gets locked down a few times a month. That'll spring me right over those 10 days if they happen in the morning. I can't leave an hour early, because I can't arrive at school more than 10 minutes early and some of the lockdowns last more than an hour anyway. I honestly don't know what to do. There's no school on base or we might have considered it.

As for carrying her, she's getting pretty heavy and she kicks when I try to dress her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

I have it explained it to her. I still can't stop her from not complying. She's not me. I have no control over her actions. How do I get it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Yes, you can do that. Other parents do that, why can't you?

If the base is locked down and you're unable to make it to the school, then you can't make it. Excused or unexcused.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is the one insisting on that private school, let him deal with getting her there on time and answering the calls from school if she takes her belt off.

But usually even strict private schools cut the K's a little slack with the uniform. There are the rules as written in the handbook, and there's what actually happens in the classroom. The littlest kids don't usually get in trouble for doing what kids do to their clothes.

Then why have rules in the handbook?

DH is gone most of the time. This falls to me.

Ah, so you don't actually want advice or to fix things, you just want to bitch and moan about how terrible it is that your child has to attend school on time and wear a uniform. Well, good luck with the school year!

So you give bad advice then blame me for not taking it? Weird. I'm glad your spouse is around.

There's someone weird on this thread, and it isn't the PP. People have tried to give you advice and reassure you, and you are just digging in your heels and frankly, being a bitch about it (the PP had no way of knowing that your husband is absentee). Look, no one is going to agree with you that expecting kids to be on time to school and wear a uniform is unreasonable or draconian or worthy of the stress and anxiety it is causing you. It's just not. Your unhappiness about this is totally disproportionate. Your kid will learn to deal with the uniform. You will figure out how to get her to school on time. Millions of people do this all the time. You can choose to be practical and deal with this, or you can choose to be anxious and resentful and stressed and unhappy. It's totally up to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?

Let the school handle it if you are unable to explain to your kid that she needs to comply like everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rules like those are in the handbook so that egregious flouting of the rules can be subject to consequences. If you are sending your 6 yo to a school that PUNISHES kids for being late occasionally, that is on you. 1. You need to be more responsible about timeliness. 2. You need to not send your child to a school with such strict standards if you don't intend to conform to them.

I would totally understand if you were saying that you felt your young child should be playing more and not doing worksheets, or whatever. But sending your kid to a private school with a strict dress code, and then complaining about that dress code, makes no sense.

To get to the larger issue: My sister hated school until college (which she loved). She was bullied in middle school, routinely cut high school, etc. When she had kids, she homeschooled/unschooled them. That was a choice she made, based on her own experiences. You could do that, too, though it isn't compatible with a full-time job. But what you can't reasonably do is complain about the clearly stated rules at a school you voluntarily send your kid to.

I think you're missing the point. I'm ok with the dress code, but DD is not. But since I'm not physically in her body, I can't stop her from breaking the rules. I cannot, every morning, dress her myself and carry her out the door so she's at school on time. I cannot make sure the base isn't closed down and I'm trapped on it and can't get off to take her to school. Yes, that's an unexcused absence! There is so much outside of my control, and I don't know how I'm supposed ot comply with all these rules when I truly have no control.

So...besides homeschooling, since I work, how do I handle this?