Anonymous wrote:I met her at a nonprofit event and found out we both love trashy Lifetime movies. We have been texting nonstop for the past many months when she has been on tour across the US. I was shocked when she let me know she was pregnant when I knew she was not in a serious relationship. I care for her deeply in a sister type of way and told her that I had no advice to give for her situation. She got really upset but I just told her that honestly had no way to understand her situation and that she needed to trust her gut instinct.
We made up over lunch when she was in town and presented me with the gifts. I told her it was too much but she insisted. She told me who the father was and I was shocked. How do other [b]DC Mom's[/b] deal with celebrity friends? It's almost like they don't understand our respect our boundaries? I don't want expensive gifts. In this soulless city, I just need a real connection.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just be gracious and accept the gift.
Sometimes when people are over the top gift givers they do it for their own satisfaction. Perhaps she felt that she mistreated you and this is her way to assuage her guilt.
But it’s still nice to express thanks even if you didn’t want to receive such a gift, everyone likes to feel like their gift giving efforts are appreciated.
Thanks. I drafted a thank you note and will send it out tomorrow morning.
She and I bickered a bit. She was never mean, but I thought for awhile she was uncharacteristically grumpy. But we are okay now and I will just resolve to move forward.
I really appreciate your genuine response and suggestions. Thank you so, so much.
I am genuinely confused, OP. Are you just a really bored troll who fails at humor and can't even come up with a good troll post?
If you claim you are not, do you truly believe that as this person's random friend who they met one time at a nonprofit, and found out they both like the same TV channel, is in any way shape or form in a position to issue judgment or scolding on their pregnancy? In your words, she did not come to you saying "help, sister, I don't know what to do." You say she "let me know she was pregnant" as in.... announced her pregnancy. You are not entitled to an opinion or a judgment. You barely know this person. "She got really upset" because the ONLY thing you say when someone announces their pregnancy to you is congratulations. Maybe how can you help? Not "Ew. You aren't EVEN in a SERIOUS relationship. *Who are you, random person this woman met once months ago, to decide you get to arbitrate her womb and sex life, by the way??* Then to immediately jump to "I can't relate, I have no advice" - ew. You are a shitty person and friend. No wonder you think this is a soulless city and you are aching to find a "real connection" and have no friends. Let me give you a hint. Stop being judgmental and try being a listener (listen to LISTEN, not to respond.... I know that'll be hard for you), try being compassionate, try being caring. It'll work wonders. What you have shared about this 'relationship' is that you are awkward and overbearing and intensely capricious and judgmental.
You "made up over lunch"... as in you probably demanded an apology from her. Did you apologize for being crass and desultory? I bet you didn't.
SHE doesn't respect YOUR boundaries? How about the boundary of - someone is announcing a pregnancy. You barely know this person (Or, you claim you are 'sisters' even after meeting once and texting about a Lifetime movie. Regardless...). The only proper response is congratulations and support. What boundary were you respecting when you shamed and patronized her?
You say that "I drafted a thank you note and will send it out tomorrow morning. She and I bickered a bit. She was never mean, but I thought for awhile she was uncharacteristically grumpy. But we are okay now and I will just resolve to move forward."
1- What kind of 'drafting' does a thank you note for gifts given require? Hint: none... But since etiquette does not seem to be your strong point, I'll teach you that it should absolutely be hand-written and not typed, and if your stationery has "thank you" pre-printed on it, return it to Target and go by Papyrus and buy some real stationery.
2- What on EARTH did you bicker about, unless she was defending herself against your disdainful and pious attitude? What do you have to bicker with her about? That you do not approve of her pregnancy? Guess what - not your womb, not your place to have an opinion.
3- She was never mean - that's a bummer, maybe she should have been. You could have finally learned a lesson about how to interact with humans.
4- I thought for a while she was uncharacteristically grumpy - hi. Let me introduce you to this thing called pregnancy hormones. I'm sure nobody has procreated with you since you cannot carry on basic human conversation, and that you have never interacted with someone pregnant (especially given that in 2019, you seem to think that one must be in an OMG SO SERIOUS relationship to have a child.... And must be scorned if not :roll

.... But pregnant people are emotional and moody. Hormones are raging and absolutely impact their moods and emotions. I would tell you to have some compassion but you have made it more than clear that you are less than capable of that. So maybe read a Wikipedia page or something about social norms, and what is acceptable and normal with pregnancy.
5- I will just resolve to move forward - ... from WHAT? You are SO dramatic, I cannot fathom that this person really thinks you are worth their time. Maybe they pity you, or see you as that awkward ostracized cousin for whom they feel compassion and sympathy. But what on EARTH has happened in your life (or maybe, what hasn't happened?) that you think that this situation is in any way, shape or form about you? That you are owed an apology? That you will just "move forward" as if you were so harshly wronged by a random stranger's out of wedlock pregnancy, and failure to regulate their pregnancy emotions to the level you deemed appropriate?
6- Going back to the beginning - you say "How do other [b
]DC Mom's[/b] deal with celebrity friends?" ... Wait so you really are claiming you are a parent? With a partner and children? It is moms, not mom's, for the record.