Anonymous
Post 06/25/2019 05:01     Subject: Re:Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP.

I see that you guys are taking a break.

Sleep issues are tough. The child needs to come first. If your girlfriend wants at some point to have a serious relationship with someone and have you sleeping over, the child can never be in the bed. How to handle this if the child is used to co sleeping:

Put a large mattress in the child's room (on the floor if necessary).

Mom can cosleep with the child in the child's room.

Mom can sleep with you in the master bedroom once the child is asleep.

If child wakes mom up and wants to come into the bed with her, mom gets up and goes to the child's bed to cosleep.

This gets the child used to the idea that her bed is in her bedroom, and mom sometimes comes and sleeps there. Not that mom's bed belongs to the child. Child should never be sleeping in mom's bed if another adult not the dad is in the bed.


This is what we do with our third. She sleeps in a queen bed in her room. She does not sleep in our bed. We go to hers.

We know MANY families of toddlers who spend a lot of time on their kid’s floor from putting their arm through the crib or just comforting child and falling asleep on floor. We opted to just get a bigger bed for toddler.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2019 00:13     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


+1 so wrong on so many levels
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 23:54     Subject: Re:Child still sleeping in parents bed
Get out of the bed, if the kid is there either you sleep at your own place or you sleep on the couch.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 23:11     Subject: Re:Child still sleeping in parents bed
I have a friend whose 9yo stills crawls into bed with them.

My 5yo and 7yo would often end up in our bed until baby was born. Third child is 2 and still sleeping with us.

Parents still somehow still manage to have sex.

I agree with others that it is highly inappropriate that you are sleeping in the same bed as them. You shouldn’t sleep over on days she has the kid or stay in guest room or whatever.

I’m not divorced but I would be so upset if I found out my ex was having sex on same bed or room with my child.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 08:49     Subject: Re:Child still sleeping in parents bed
You should not sleep over shen she has the kids and if you live together sleep in the guest room those nights.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 08:46     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


Same.

I don't think it's a good idea either, but the ex doesn't get a say unless no overnights is written into a custody agreement.


Well the ex might get a say if he decides to take the issue to a judge who will likely think that a three year old girl sleeping with her mom’s boyfriend is both disgusting and nefarious.


Really? Sleeping in the same bed as a child is nefarious???

When my DSC was little once or twice DH slept in the middle of the bed with me on one side and DSC on the other.





I think a 60 year old conservative judge might think that it’s pretty messed up that a three year old girl sleeping with a man she isn’t related to.


You don't have to be all that conservative. Those judges see a lot of child abuse.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 08:44     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
I doubt that anyone would take this to court, absent an allegation of child abuse. Most people don't have money to burn like that.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 08:41     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


Same.

I don't think it's a good idea either, but the ex doesn't get a say unless no overnights is written into a custody agreement.


Well the ex might get a say if he decides to take the issue to a judge who will likely think that a three year old girl sleeping with her mom’s boyfriend is both disgusting and nefarious.


Really? Sleeping in the same bed as a child is nefarious???

When my DSC was little once or twice DH slept in the middle of the bed with me on one side and DSC on the other.





I think a 60 year old conservative judge might think that it’s pretty messed up that a three year old girl sleeping with a man she isn’t related to.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 08:19     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


Same.

I don't think it's a good idea either, but the ex doesn't get a say unless no overnights is written into a custody agreement.


Well the ex might get a say if he decides to take the issue to a judge who will likely think that a three year old girl sleeping with her mom’s boyfriend is both disgusting and nefarious.


Really? Sleeping in the same bed as a child is nefarious???

When my DSC was little once or twice DH slept in the middle of the bed with me on one side and DSC on the other.





Were you married at that point? Plus, assuming you are female, where the concern is (slightly) less for most people.
Anonymous
Post 06/24/2019 06:38     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


Same.

I don't think it's a good idea either, but the ex doesn't get a say unless no overnights is written into a custody agreement.


Well the ex might get a say if he decides to take the issue to a judge who will likely think that a three year old girl sleeping with her mom’s boyfriend is both disgusting and nefarious.


Really? Sleeping in the same bed as a child is nefarious???

When my DSC was little once or twice DH slept in the middle of the bed with me on one side and DSC on the other.



Anonymous
Post 06/23/2019 22:48     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.


Same.

I don't think it's a good idea either, but the ex doesn't get a say unless no overnights is written into a custody agreement.


Well the ex might get a say if he decides to take the issue to a judge who will likely think that a three year old girl sleeping with her mom’s boyfriend is both disgusting and nefarious.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2019 22:03     Subject: Re:Child still sleeping in parents bed
My brother is divorced and from the time their child was born to the divorce (age 4) the kid slept in their bed. Now their kid still sleeps in the mom’s bed (age 7) on nights she has their child. It’s hard for my brother who has remarried, had another baby, and is trying to establish boundaries with the older child. The mom has a serious significant other and I sure hope he’s not sleeping in the same bed as the kid.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2019 21:48     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:It is a hard habit to break.

The snuggle is real.
Its really easy to break. Kids are resilient.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2019 18:20     Subject: Child still sleeping in parents bed
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP there is a pretty rare consensus on DCUM here, I hope you are going to listen.


OP here, I actually decided to talk about it and then it basically ended with us taking a break.


I think that was wise. If she cared about you at all, she would not have invited you into the bed with the child in there too.


If she cared about the CHILD at all, OP wouldn’t be in the bed.


THIS