Looking back on my life of 58 years, I feel lucky to have had parents and siblings, a husband and two children, and friends who truly loved me and whom I loved. They have brought me the most joy.

I *love* having kids. The marriage part- meh. I think I would have been happier focusing on my career and making enough money that I could have kids on my own.

I totally believe it.

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is unmarried women don’t want to wait until they’re 55 to see the world.

I didn't. I've seen a lot of the world already. Just taking a break, or more accurately slowing down for awhile. And it's fine to not want to take a break. No reason for either choice to be seen as better or worse than.

I think the point is unmarried women don’t want to wait until they’re 55 to see the world.

Most people, of either sex, have never learned to be happy alone.

I feel like my last sentence above came off kind of glib. I'm not saying either choice is better. But people who choose children aren't all boring homebodies happy to live in the same house until they're 80 and transition to waiting for their kids to visit them in the nursing home.

Just like childless people aren't barren selfish aholes with no substantial relationships who permanently yearn for meaning in their life.

Both descriptions are inadequate to describe the full complexities of the humans involved.

- MCAPP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bottom Line:

Self Awareness + Deliberate Choices + Follow Through = Maximum Life Happiness

^100%

x10000

- mountain climb analogy PP

And for the record, I like to and do travel too! And plan to travel a whole lot more in 10-15 years after I put down this down payment on my future big family! When I turn 55 my youngest will be 20 and I'll be off gallivanting around the world with every space nickel! Can't wait!

It's only true if the single woman accepts being single.
Several of my single friends are miserable, but they don't want to be divorced or single.

44 year old again. I appreciate reading all the different perspectives. I think society tells you that you need to get married and have kids to be happy, so it’s hard for people to understand you can be genuinely happy without those things. The things that make me happy are travel (94 countries and counting!), learn about different cultures, exploring new cities, volunteering, learning languages (and sleeping in on the weekend). To some it may seem like a selfish life without purpose, but for me my purpose is to explore and wander and learn about the world. If I had kids (for me) I’d feel trapped. Yes you can travel with kids, but its not the same. I have lots of friends, I’m a godmother, an aunt and a have rich social circle. I just don’t want to have kids and I’m really glad I didn’t give in to the pressure that is put on all women to do what is expected. I hear you about the mountain climb, but tomorrow isn’t promised so I don’t want to wait until my kids are grown or I’m retired to explore the world. I live for the present, not the future. Maybe if I didn’t travel or have different dreams, I’d feel like I was missing out. I have friends who desperately want to get married and have kids, and they aren’t happier than married women. I think only women who made the decision for themselves not to be married and have kids are the happy ones.

Best friend is 45 and single. She has a great life. Started her own business, has heaps of friends, travels a lot. She did feel sad when we were all younger and many of us got married and had kids. But now those kids are teens and many couples are going through tougher times in their marriages I think she realises how carefree her life is.

I have 2 children and a great DH and wouldn’t want it any other way but I can see that life without a man and kids is pretty nice too.

Anonymous wrote:Bottom Line:

Self Awareness + Deliberate Choices + Follow Through = Maximum Life Happiness

^100%

Bottom Line:

Self Awareness + Deliberate Choices + Follow Through = Maximum Life Happiness

Anonymous wrote:Interesting! I’m sure it’s true for some women, especially if the alternative is a dud of a guy who doesn’t pull his weight. I was depressed and didn’t take care of myself as a single woman. Having love, support, and a family to take care of us given me purpose and happiness.

Me as well. I think if I didn't have a family, I'd be disappointed in myself for what I didn't accomplish and probably just drift along. I am not naturally ambitious or pro-active; having a family I'm responsible for has propelled me forward.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 44, never married and no kids. I think I’m a lot happier than most of my friends because I don’t have relationship, kid or financial stress. I only have to worry about myself. I travel internationally 10x a year. Lately I’ve been asking myself if I’d regret my choices not to have a family when I’m 60, but for the moment (and the present moment is what matters) I am happy. I don’t need to find my purpose through a spouse or children.

I’m 40, a mostly sahm/trailing spouse with 2 kids and I often wonder if I was better suited to being childless and single.

I love my kids dearly and my life is fun enough (we move around a lot). But, it’s relentless and hard to maintain a sense of control over your life with demanding kids.