Anonymous wrote:I would not miss Christmas with my wife and child for any reason. They are more important then my extended family and I’d find a way to make it work even if it included cancelling the trip.

This. You have a family now. They are the priority. Everyone else is just relatives.

Your wife is a saint or a doormat. No way would I want my husband traveling for a week at Christmas, outside of a life or death situation.

^ You are making me feel better about my situation. Thanks

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

This. 13 months is miserable for air travel. They're too old to sit quietly in your lap for hours, and too young to understand what's happening or be excited about the plane. You have to pack a ton of stuff, including gifts if you want to celebrate Xmas while there. And once you're there you won't get to spend as much time as you want with people. They'll all go to a bar after dinner, but you will go back to a hotel room at 7:30 pm and sit in the dark. You'll miss out on a lot while you're dealing with naps, bedtime, and general restrictions on where you can reasonably take a baby. Big family dinner planned? Good luck getting a 13 month old to sit in a restaurant for the time that will take.

If you ask your wife to sit in the hotel room while you go out with your cousins, she'll be resentful. IMO, it's just not worth it. Go enjoy your week. It actually sounds awesome. Celebrate Xmas before you go or after.

Just kidding. Yes I am a DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

The obvious solution is for him to shorten his trip. Why does he have to be gone a full week? Paying a change fee will be cheaper than buying a whole new flight for his wife - and way more convenient!

Are we sure OP is DH? Could be a double DW family...just saying.

I wouldn't mind a double DW family - at least one of my wives would be able to come on the trip!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

The obvious solution is for him to shorten his trip. Why does he have to be gone a full week? Paying a change fee will be cheaper than buying a whole new flight for his wife - and way more convenient!

Are we sure OP is DH? Could be a double DW family...just saying.

My husband had a 25 year military career, 14 of which he was a father. He has missed many holidays and though he never missed any of our kids first Christmas, we definitely know service members who did. They had no choice in the matter.

To me, to VOLUNTARILY miss out on your child's first Christmas is unforgivable.

What does your family (the ones that you will be traveling to visit) think of this? I would think a lot less of my brother, cousin, nephew, etc. if I knew they left their wife and child at Christmas to come to a "family" celebration. I would have a hard time feeling welcoming towards him, knowing what he did.

well, first Christmas with a baby who understands the world I should say (13 months old)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

+1 and I am DW.
I would totally prefer to spend Christmas with my baby and parents rather than traveling abroad with 1 y.o. to see ILs or staying home with unhappy DH.
Have to add that we are atheists and Christmas is just another holiday.

Yeah... and if I convince her to go, and we get stuck in an airport after cancelled/delayed flights.. she will be blaming me for making her change her mind.

I might just try to have our first Christmas together as a family before I go and try to have a positive attitude about not having to worry about a baby for a week ...

I do feel some resentment toward her though for skipping this reunion. We see her family for literally every holiday.....

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

+1 and I am DW.
I would totally prefer to spend Christmas with my baby and parents rather than traveling abroad with 1 y.o. to see ILs or staying home with unhappy DH.
Have to add that we are atheists and Christmas is just another holiday.

Just to be contrarian, I would not miss a rare extended family reunion just to avoid flying with a baby over the holidays. Bring your family...if there are other grandkids there, she will love it!

You've seen your family of origin plenty over the years. This is your baby's first real Christmas. Don't.

Stay home and enjoy your time with you wiggly giggly baby. The baby stage is over so fast.

I would not miss my first Christmas as a family for anything, nor would I do that to my spouse. How depressing to do that alone with your baby. I would miss the reunion. We travelled by air with a one year old in winter and really regretted it. So many things went wrong, and the baby actually ended up in the hospital across the country.

Just Do Xmas with her when you get back n